So, There’s That
Let me set this up for you. Missing airplane. Fox News.
Fox News host Bill Hemmer on Wednesday suggested that Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 may never be found because “it took us 2,000 years to find Noah’s Ark.”
“So, what, it took us 100 years to find the Titanic?” Hemmer noted. “It took us 2,000 years to find Noah’s Ark. Do we ever find flight 370?”
Y’all, when did we find Noah’s ark? I must have been napping.
Thanks to Irene for the heads up.
Over the years there have been several expeditions to a mountain in Turkey that is supposed to be the resting place of the arc. No one has found anything capital T totally conclusive. Hemmer is just another one of the random knuckleheads Fox gets at the supermarket.
1It’s the old “historical science” as opposed to “observational science” schtick. Ken HAM. Bill HEMmer. Coincidence? I don’t think so…
2Aw gohmerts, Bill Hemmer, another Flux Nuts ‘scientist.’ Whatever happened aboard that 777, its final vector was to Papua. Few other established facts among much speculation, but given the flight’s steady course and technology, it might be found. Delays in seeking technical help may hamper progress, but I’m not ready to go all “Bermuda Triangle” on this missing flight, its crew and passengers.
Hemmer is such a gohmert. The location of the Titanic was known. It was a matter of technological development, before dives could be made to the wreck. As for Noah’s Ark? Probably not worth our time looking for an imaginary boat.
Fun historical fact, after the Titanic sank came the first patent for Sonar. BTW Bill that was 1912. Appears you have a little hundred year catching up to do with science, Bill, you gohmert.
Hint Bill. Sonar, Bill, it’s real. He obviously has the same reading list as Palin, none.
3And just look at how long it took Indiana Jones to find the Ark of the Covenant. And Indy knew how to find stuff!
4Why JJ if you just look at the headlines of tabloids at the check out counter, you would know, about every six weeks it is discovered. On the other had the Garden is found about every nine months. These stories can be confirmed by the commenters at Faux News. Enquiring minds want know.
5Good point, Cole. Jesus is found every few months in a cheese sandwich or table cloth somewhere.
Anyone up to keeping the statistics on Elvis vs Jesus sightings?
6Ken Ham is building it so it can be ‘discovered’ by the Discovery Institute.
7Noah’s Ark, or the remains there of, have been found several times in my lifetime. Just goes to prove the truth of something or other.
As a toddler one of my first toys was a wooden Noah’s Ark with animals two by two–it was a wonderfully fun toy and the beginning of religious skepticism for me.
8Deep deep sigh.
9OK folks. Being that I’ve never been very good at this religious stuff I need to ask some questions. So here goes:
If I understand it correctly, Noah and the Ark are found in the Old Testament. Matter-of-fact, in the first book of the OT or Genesis. Now Moses is the credited as the author of Genesis and written during ole Moses time in the desert. Of course, the words were given to him by God. The time frame, again if my memory serves me, was 1450 – 1800 B.C. Or before Christ – meaning that Noah’s sailing adventure took place before Moses little 40 year hike.
So: Is Hemmer saying that no one was interested enough to start looking for the Ark until after Jesus was born or 2,000 years after Jesus’s death? If the Bible and some of it’s scholars are correct, and if the earth is 6,000 years old, Noah’s sea trip may have taken place when the earth was only 2,000 years old . . . means things had calmed down enough to cool off and Unicorns were already roaming the earth. . . not to mention all those horrible people that pissed God of enough to want to start over again.
Something isn’t connecting here folks. Perhaps Palin, Bachman or that former governor from Arkansas will eventually splain it to us!
10Cole, maybe it should be re-phrased: Expiring minds want to know.
11Relax, Al in Az, when it comes to foxsplaining, Palin word salad regurgitation and all the gohmert RWNJs, if you like irony, pop some corn, pop a beer and watch the gohmerts wrap themselves around an axle of sheer insane hilarity.
Remember, The Onion folded because satire could not compete with the Tea Bag platform.
12Why is it astonishing that the same people who preach that the earth is only 6,000 years old, could be easily convinced that the Ark has been found. I found this fascinating website after Googling. Enjoy!
http://www.snopes.com/religion/noahsark.asp
13Okay, I think this fits what happened to me in a cute consignment shop I frequent. I found a box marked “Noah’s Ark” cookie cutters! Looking like circa 1940-50’s.
14I looked inside, and lo and behold there was a tyrannosaur cookie cutter! Blew me away! I said to Jane, the shop owner, ” Here is the proof that the dinosaurs existed when Noah was loading up the ark!”
Jane, laughing really hard, said,”Uhh, I think it’s a kangaroo. There’s a picture of all the cookie cutters on the front of the box, and there is a kangaroo. I looked all squinty eyed at the cutter–“It may look like a kangaroo to some, but my faith tells me it’s a dinosaur. Printed record be damned, Satan did that to mislead us.”
We were both howling with laughter… And I promptly bought them for my daughter, who adds to my collection of sacrilegious plastic Jesus figurines when ever she can. Jesus won’t mind–how could he, if he lets those cheesy plastic figurines that actually say “Lord of All” on them be sold, a plastic God–Oh,please, Mrs. Robenson–then he won’t care about Noah’s menagerie.
Just sayin’
John Kwitkoski, of the best graphics ever, deserves a shot at Hemmer and his Flux twin, http://cdn.crooksandliars.com/files/imagecache/hot_slider/primary_image/14/03/fox_ff_obamacare_deportation_140319c-2.jpg
Flux, from interchangeable bleach blonde bimbos to bleach blond male bimbos, deserves to come under fire from the bleach industry. Call it the trans-bleach neutered twins, Clorox in denial.
The bears selling toilet paper, babies in diapers selling toilet paper strains credulity, but at least they’re cute. Blue eyed bleach blonds of either gender selling the contents of a diaper, not so cute.
15WRT finding Noah’s Ark: Wasn’t it supposed to be made out of wood? How long does wood last? As far as I know, there are not a lot of wooden structures thousands of years old around.
Keep in mind: religious people talk about actually finding Noah’s Ark, not signs or indications there was an ark.
16But how long will it take to find evidence of Bill Hemmer’s brain?
He must be watching too much (of what used to be) The History channel. Noah’s Ark, Aliens, etc…
17Bingo, Lorraine in Spring, the History Channel with Ollie North would explain a lot of Hemmer’s accepted mythology.
Dredge up that mythical ark, and screw the facts, years and ah just screw the facts, they’re the believers.
18Y’all quit messin’ with Noah and the ark. I know if I’d been on the Ark what my job would have been: taking care of sick baby animals and they ain’t no fun. I love the O.T. stories so there. But I ain’t gittin’ crossways with nobuddy ‘cuz of them. The first four books of the Bible, however they came to be, were stories passed down and down and down before literacy. Look at it this way: it got folks all snuggled up together around the fire and it didn’t take any electricity and it explained things.
19What really got me was, THE ONION IS NO LONGER PUBLISHED? I’ve been wondering why it wasn’t in those dispenser thingies. Sad.
I’m going back to the Tom Delay post. There’s a possibility of a happy ending there. Here?-not so much!
20I’m okay with the Noah story — I really like stories. Still, if it were true, then I’m a tiny bit ticked off that Noah brought along mosquitoes. Was that really necessary?
Also, Jim Wright wrote an excellent essay about the plane over on Stonekettle Station (not for Mama).
21I believe they found Noah’s Ark shortly after they found Judge Crater and just before they found the Abominable Snowman.
Of more concern to this guy should be the fact that he’s lost his mind.
22And the defenders of the Alamo dropped the first nukular bomb on Santa Claus back in 2016 or whenever and that is why wingnuts from Texas are so dumb.
23According to the biblical literalists, the flood happened 5,000 or so years ago. Does that mean Noah’s Ark was found 3,000 years ago?
24The morphing of the History Channel into the Wingnut Fantasy Channel was a blow to me. I used to learn a lot from watching it, now I argue with my husband when he is lazy enough to turn the dang thing on!
25Who was looking for Noah’s Ark and did they really find it?
26Corinne, I googled was noah’s ark really found and who found it? Interesting if that is what you want to read about.
Noah’s Ark discovery raises flood of questions – CNN Belief Blog …
religion.blogs.cnn.com/…/new-discovery-raises-flood-of-questions-…
CNN
Jan 28, 2014 – A British scholar has found that a 4,000-year-old cuneiform tablet from what … What’s really intriguing scholars is the description of the ark itself.
What I like about the stories is how regular people took up their courage and skills and did what they believed God wanted them to do, regardless of who was laughing at them or chasing them down. It gives me courage and makes me study all sorts of issues and try to find what seems the best thing to do.
27Everybody in Jacksonville, North Carolina knows that the Ark is located near the New River Bridge and has really good fried shrimp.
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