During Trump’s bizarre speech to the Boy Scouts, he said, “Under a Trump Administration, you’ll be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again as you go shopping.”

Because, you know, Obama made that illegal.  Verdelia says she accidentally said Merry Christmas at the Walmart and George Soros ran into the store and slapped her with a 48DD from the ladies department.

And, y’all, since Trump lies so much I don’t know if we can trust his word on this so I’m gonna take it on a test drive.  I intend the go down to the Dairy Queen this evening and greet everyone at the door with, “Merry Christmas.”  Unless Hillary Clinton comes in and smashes me with a medium cone with chocolate shell, I’ll know that Trump is finally telling the truth.

And why can you only say it while shopping? You can’t say it at the bowling alley or Jaime’s Taco Hut?  How ’bout your synagogue?   Can you say it there?  Look, if you can only say it while shopping, I’m gonna be screwed because … Amazon.

Merry Christmas, ya’ll, because I like living dangerously.