Honey, you could stick my finger in the outlet that lights up Las Vegas and I would not be more shocked than I am now.

The devil is taking over our country and he’s using Fantasy Football to do it.

Can I get an Amen?

No?

Well, lookie here, you Philistines.

“Fantasy football means imaginary games played by imaginary teams in imaginary leagues, which are made up of real players whose playing statistics are compiled from real football games. So instead of betting on the actual NFL games, fantasy football participants bet on something that depends on the actual NFL games.”

Right there, my brethren and sisterns, right there is that expert on all things to do with tightbutt morality, Phyllis Schlafly. She is thumping on her Bible and singeing your butt on the flames of hell. Phyllis knows sin, my friend. Sin and Phyllis are on a first-name basis.

Cathie

Phyllis has teamed up with the most rightwing group in Texas – Cathie Adams and the Eagle Forum.  Together they are going to fight Fantasy Football.

I suspect they’ll need a fainting coach when they realize there’s also Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Soccer, Fantasy Golf, Fantasy Polo, Fantasy Basketball, and worst of all, Fantasy Fantasy, where sic-fi fans pick their favorite authors for the best seller list.  Okay, so I just made that last one up.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.