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Michelle Bachmann is needlessly nuts.

“She doesn’t have to be driving on black ice,” Juanita says.  “She’s kinda cute in that Minnesoooota flat hair kind of way and if we could do something about her voice being as irritating as a spoon in the garbage disposal, she might be passable as a date to the VFW Dance.  However, she’s been listening to the voices inside her head for way too long to let her talk out loud.”

Especially when she talks like this —

Firing back at former President Bill Clinton, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) on Wednesday defended her controversial “gangster government” criticism of Democrats.

Asked if she thought it was appropriate to use the term as American frustration with government hits record levels and lawmakers have received death threats, Bachmann told The Hill, “Absolutely, I do.”

“Okay, let’s be honest about this,” Juanita says.  “She’s an exhibitionist.  She would take off her clothes if that would get her attention.  It won’t, so she shoots off her mouth.”

“Honey, she could prance down the street with a feather hat, viking boots, a Mary Popppins umbrella, a herd of chihuahua dogs, and a boom box playing Be True To Your School at a deafening level.  It would get her the attention she needs without endangering anyone.  Plus, she wouldn’t have to give up any of her seriousness level.”

That’s a plan.  It truly is.