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“I always said,” Juanita begins on this rainy morning with her hairbrush in mid air waving around in circles as she does when trying to call the beauty salon to order, “that there were only two chances that any Republican would debate a Democrat in Texas – slim and none.  And slim is saddling up to leave town.”

According to Harvey Kronberg, the Texas expert in these matters, now the State Board of Education candidates are doing a Moses Rose imitation.

The Greater Austin League of Women Voters was blindsided by Republican Party of Texas Chair Steve Munisteri’s statement earlier this week urging two Republican candidates in State Board of Education races to avoid a long-scheduled LWV candidate forum to be televised on Sept. 28.

Education First, an advocacy group seeking to raise interest in Austin-area SBOE races, was the first to raise the alarm on the potential defection, urging its members last week to contact incumbent Ken Mercer and candidate Marsha Farney to attend the LWV forum.

“Now, lest you think the Republicans had reason to believe the debate wasn’t going to be fair, Kronberg goes on to state —

The debate was to be moderated by Texas Tribune’s Evan Smith and broadcast on KLRU. Smith has a long history of interviewing Republicans such as Rick Perry, David Dewhurst, Karl Rove and others on KLRU without charges of partisanship.

“I know Judy Jennings, the candidate in my  neck of the woods for the school board and she ain’t scared to debate.  Honey, to do right by Texas schoolchildren, Judy would fight a rattlesnake with one arm tied behind her back and give the rattlesnake three bites head start.  Look, if you’re scared to answer a question, you have no business dealing in education.  Good Lord, this ain’t like a pop quiz.  You’re supposed to know the material before you sign up to run.”

“Judy’s opponent, Marsha Farney, whose breath smells like hen feathers right about now, is a far right religious lunatic.  Now, you’d think that somebody who places their faith in God wouldn’t be afraid of a couple of questions from Evan Smith.  It ain’t like this is Valley of the Shadow of Death or a lion’s den or something.  Goodness sakes, Marsha, put on your big girl panties and debate the issues.”

“Maybe we could buy some electric socks for Texas Republican cold feet, huh?  They are as yellow as mustard but without the bite,” Juanita sighs.