Rush and the Lesbian Farmers
Snopes says it is absolutely true that Ruch Limbaugh is obsessed with lesbians.
Here’s what set him off.
Many LGBT people choose to live, work, and raise their families in rural areas. To highlight the unique needs of this community, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has partnered with Drake Law School, One Iowa, the National Center for Lesbian Rights, and True Colors Fund to organize the Iowa LGBT Rural Summit.
Well, that’s just straight out of the bowels of hell, ain’t it? I know there some corn shaking on its stalk over the possibility that lesbians may … forgive me saying it, Lord … water them.
Limbaugh says that Damn-You-Obama is seeing lesbian to infiltrate the red states and … plow.
I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing. I never knew it. But apparently enough money can make it happen, and the objective here is to attack rural states. They’re already attacking suburbs, and that has been made perfectly clear by what happened in Milwaukee. They’re going after every geographic region that is known to be largely conservative. They never stop, folks. They are constantly on the march.
Hup. Two. Three. Four. The marching lesbians are taking over Iowa.
Rush don’t get out much, y’all. He thinks there’s still horses and plows. Hey, dude, we don’t churn butter anymore either. But if we did, lesbians could do it better than you.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
See “Lesbian Farmers – the Musical” here:
1http://www.advocate.com/comedy/2016/8/26/rush-limbaugh-inspires-lesbian-farmer-musical-tribute
That is so funny! Think he was trying for funny?
2“He thinks there’s still horses and plows.”
JJ, let’s not be too harsh on old Rush. Farmers probably were still using horses and plows back when he made himself go deaf with oxy, and I’m sure he hasn’t seen a farm since then either.
3I think the Flaming Nazi Gasbag [What’s the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? One’s a flaming Nazi gasbag and the other is a dirigible] is just upset that there’s a whole category of women who have absolutely no interest in him or his… I don’t want to go anywhere near there. And virtually no woman does regardless of her sexual orientation.
4A miserable human being.
5In the last part of 1986, I was on the construction site of a cement plant near Waxahatchie. Last day of the week. Around 9:00 a.m. my buddy suggested we start a rumor that we were working 8 hours that day instead of 10 and see what happens. So while passing a group of guys by the water jug, I casually mentioned that I’d heard it. (8 and the gate). 3:00 o’clock rolls around and everybody on the job is rolling up. Hilarious. The superintendent was baffled. Long before the internet. But doesn’t it sound a lot like how crazy stories go viral nowadays? So, I say let’s start some crazy rumor that will finally make Bush’s head explode. I heard someone say that there was a little known clause in Obamacare that uses our tax dollars to put a free dildo in every rural mailbox in Texas. Delivered by lesbians. Well that’s what I heard.
6That was supposed to be Rush’s head, but got autocorrected. Although, If we could get a bush head to explode as well, that’d be pretty sweet too.
7Iowa could do far worse than succumb to a lesbian invasion.
8Let’s keep up with the Flush Rush campaign. He’s radio’s equivalent of Drumpf. Flush ’em both, but not at the same time, else the commode will explode.
9P.P., your suggested rumor reminds me of a suggested game among Governor Ann Richards’ staff: drive around East Texas with a bumpersticker that says “I’m the gay Ann sent to take your guns away.” Anybody who got back to Austin alive would win.
10Sorry, JJ, but iowa has quite a few Amish farmers who farm the old fashioned way (and breed like cats).
Our iowa magazine publishes a diary written by an Amish wife about her family’s lifestyle in every edition. Beautiful color photography in every edition. I would recommend every one to at least pick up a copy and peruse it. (No, I don’t suscribe. I read hand me down issues) 🙂
11Rhea, your comment stirred-up the story of how Ken Kesey and his band of merry freaks drove around rural areas in a gaudy old school bus with a banner on it, to-wit: “We’ve come for your daughters.”Except I couldn’t remember Kesey’s name, so I googled “Sometimes a Great Notion”, a fine book by Kesey and a fairly decent movie based on the book. I obviously found Kesey’s name, and I also found a treasure trove of stuff he wrote, including the following, which brought forth images of Rush Limbaugh:
“The story is told that when Joe was a child his cousins emptied his Christmas stocking and replaced the gifts with horse manure. Joe took one look and bolted for the door, eyes glittering with excitement. ‘Wait, Joe, where are you going? What did ol’ Santa bring you?’ According to the story Joe paused at the door for a piece of rope. ‘Brought me a bran’-new pony but he got away. I’ll catch ’em if I hurry.’ And ever since then it seemed that Joe had been accepting more than his share of hardship as good fortune, and more than his share of shit as a sign of Shetland ponies just around the corner, Thoroughbred stallions just up the road.”
― Ken Kesey, Sometimes a Great Notion
Don’t Rush kinda remind you of cousin Joe?
12There’s also non-LGBT folks who like to live in the country. And crazies of all descriptions. We had a nice lady staying with us during the cold spell. When she wasn’t at our house, she slept in her station wagon downtown under the bridge. When she and her little dog were at our house, I let her keep up with the news that counts, like Alex Jones. She proved to me that lots of things (like spacecraft) were really more like stage sets. I finally got where I couldn’t tolerate her very strange views and was glad when she went back to Iowa where she lived alone in a big old school house. Just count your blessings. At least the TV you can turn off.
13RUSH! DEAL WITH IT! Lesbians are just not into you! M’kay?!!!!
(And that goes for 99.9% of women generally.)
14Not to worry Rushie, old clown, they’re already out there raising organic hogs, poultry, vegetables, making cheese, and you don’t want to think about what else there Rushie or you might need to take a cold shower.
15George, “Don’t Rush kinda remind you of cousin Joe?”
No, he reminds me of the horse manure, except the manure smells better and I’d much rather stand next to a big pile of it, even in August, than be within hearing distance of Rush. And if each of them were spread across a big field (which I recommend, by the way), the manure would do more good.
16Poor Rush, he can’t even get this outrageous conspiracy theory right. Must be losing it more than usual.
17Ummmmmmm, you don’t “burrow” with a horse and plow, leastways not on any farm I’ve ever seen.
18Don’t know whether to laugh or cry, Rush is such a moron anyway but just what century is he living in?
19P.P., I think what you want to do is use that twitter thing all the young folk are yammering on about, to get your rumors going.
20Farmers burrow? I did not know that. I thought that was gophers. And ground squirrels.
And moving someplace is now officially “attacking” it? Of course I knew that was the case when brown people moved, especially if they moved from someplace that sounds Muslim, but I thought it was okay as long as you were white. I am glad that Rush clarified this.
So, moving someplace is attacking it if you are someone Rush disapproves of.
21Did I miss some lesbian uprising in Milwaukee?
22@Vickie
Thanks. I was gonna ask if lesbians marching also sang.
The (shhhh lesbian) who details my motor cars and sometimes tells me about recalls before Honda gets off their dead a$$ to snail mail me refused to corroborate any of this. She did once offer to show me her membership card and the secret lesbian handshake. Cool no?
23So, JAKvirginia, you think it’s as high as one out of every thousand women who would be into that disgusting, hate filled ball of lard? He should be so lucky.
24Wow! I didn’t know we could farm lesbians! Who knew?
25Is that why our population keeps growing? I thought it was just more of us coming out!
Considering all the sponsors this useless ball of DNA has lost due to his big mouth and very, very small brain, this jive about lesbians proves to me that at long last he is circling the drain!
26Oh Rush Limpdick. That he could ever imagine any female truly being interested in him? Ugh. My skin is trying to crawl off my body at the thought.
Lesbians are a monolith. Everyone of us is exactly identical. And we’re all, every single one of us, out to invade Iowa. Of all places?! WTF????
27I thought plows made furrows not burrows. The fat man is losin’ it!
28AKLynne: No. I was in a rush (ha ha) and left out a whole bunch of 9s after the decimal point.
29Well, there’s a farm BUREAU. You know, that thing where they keep their flannel shirts and overalls.
Is that why The Lesbians are invading Iowa? Because they already have the wardrobe for it?
I’m so confused.
30Lunargent: Now you stop that! You’re talking like a Republican again. Go have a lie down or quick libation and clear your head. You’ll feel better. Trust me.
31So according to Rush, lesbians are taking over the cities. They’re taking over the suburbs. They’re taking over the rurals.
How many lesbians are there? Why, that would be about 1.8% of the population.
Of course, the majority of Americans [Rush among them, I’m sure] believe the number of LGBT’s is 23%. Over 6 times their actual number of under 5%.
I wonder what Rush Limbaugh’s day-dreams consist of.
32Uh, no I don’t. I take it back. I take it back. I take it back.