Rubbernecking the Carnage
I get a whole buffet of feelings every time I hear Melania Trump speak. Everything you hear from her creates simultaneous feelings of schadenfreude, condescension, but then equal amounts of pity, and abject horror. The horror comes in repeatedly subjecting this woman to the public eye. She clearly doesn’t want to be there to the point where you sometimes feel that you are watching a hostage video.
It’s when conservatives describe her that you start having those angry emotions. You see memes where she is described as a first lady that “finally has some class.” I’m sorry to curse, but that exchange often invokes the question, “what in the hell are you talking about?”
You are comparing her directly to the last four first ladies that all had advanced degrees and professional careers in their own right. Whatever she might be, she is definitely not that. This isn’t to say that she is not intelligent or not accomplished in her own way, but to say she is while the others weren’t is beyond ludicrous.
Yet, that sympathy and empathy has to kick in at some point. She clearly does not want to be here and doesn’t want any part of this whole thing. That includes the normal charitable stuff that spouses of politicians normally do. I’m sure she never wanted to be a political spouse and yet the official word from the Trump campaign is that she will be an active participant. This is in spite of the fact that she hasn’t been seen in public with him in quite some time.
This all came to a head this week when she called her husband “caring” and a “family man” in an interview about her upcoming book and the recent assassination attempts. This is also a complex thing with a complex emotions surrounding it. Obviously, most of us feel that he is a hateful man that has brought much of this on himself. Yet, everyone must at least feel sympathy for his family and friends as they try to process all of this.
There is a ton of snark surrounding these quotes alone. It was noted by even some in the media that they aren’t living together. As millions of people will attest, there are all kinds of family situations with dynamics unique to every family. Not every couple sleeps together and not every couple lives together. One is not necessarily proof of the other. However, the idea of calling him “caring” and “a family man” runs counter to the image he has built for himself.
My feelings on Melania might be nuanced, but I think it is fairly simple. She is a private person who deserves to live the life she wants to live. Maybe that is being a trophy wife. Maybe that is being out of the public eye and supporting her son. She doesn’t need to be compared to Jill Biden, Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, or Hillary Clinton. The worth of a person is not necessarily tied up in how educated or accomplished they are.
She isn’t as accomplished. She isn’t as educated. She hasn’t done as much as those other first ladies. She also doesn’t have to. It’s not a moral imperative. She also shouldn’t be put out there to lie for her husband. That’s beyond cruel in my opinion. She is going to be the one that takes the brunt of that snark and she’s just taking one for the team. It sounds like it’s not a team she ever really wanted to be a part of.
Nobody puts her out there but herself. I assume money changes hands.
1I don’t think she wants a private life. Before the presidency she participated in the publicity swarm, and she’s written a memoir.
She wants fawning or sycophantic publicity but objects to any other kind.
I expend very little time on her but she appears to be in reality what she appears to be on the surface: a greedy airhead who traded sex for stuff.
2Agree with what Harry Eagar said.
3She knew exactly what she was getting with DJT and he’s only gotten worse every year. She’s beyond a gold digger and I don’t feel sorry for what she’s going through now.
What they said. I have zero sympathy for that woman. When she wore that jacket, that was the living end…well, that and the tossing of paper towels to people who had just lost everything in a brutal storm. And she behaves like the lady of the manor, suitable only as a clotheshorse. I’m sure she wrote none of her supposed “memoir” and it is just a “as told to…” You were much too kind in your column. She deserves nothing. As does the troll she is married to.
4Well, one thing she was that previous First Ladies weren’t is a nude model. I suppose that counts for something.
5Hey, give her some credit. Who else would ever have graced the White House with the Red Christmas Trees of Death?
6I don’t know the detailed dynamics of Melania & Donald’s relationship, but as an outsider I wonder why she doesn’t quietly disappear. She could have a much greater amount of privacy if she doesn’t “write” a book, or make comments supporting her husband, or participate in a Fox News interview.
Her privacy may be something she desires, but it’s not #1 on the list.
#1 = $
7She married him for the money. She’s stayed with him for the money. Whatever else drives her, I don’t care (like the jacket she wore). I just wish the whole family would just GO AWAY.
8She wore a coat with “I Don’t Care, Do U” when visiting sites where children were forcibly separated from their parents. Now, she’s reaping what she sowed.
9Is she a gold digger? Absolutely. However I’d push back on two things. First, I don’t think she signed up for being a political wife. I think she thought she’d have the country club life and probably knew he’d fuck around but figured he’d kick the bucket by now. I’m also not sure she is driving force behind the book. It’s a grift but whose grift? It might be Donald needing his legal fees paid and adding it to the coins, shoes, and trading cards. Heck, what are the odds he wrote any of it?
That’s all baked into the complex dichotomy of someone that signed up for most of it but not this. She’s clearly not happy and not comfortable doing it. I’m sympathetic to a certain point.
10She married an extreme narcissist. She had to know that. What could feed his narcissism more than being POTUS?
11Ask me if I care if she didn’t sign up for being the first lady. I really don’t care, do U?
I have zero sympathy. Mel is a gold digger. She was probably one of Epstein’s protégées or more likely a Putin Russian plant. One can be sure she has her own war chest of property when Trump kicks off.
12She charged $20, the same as in town. In a past life, she might now own a lot of chickens. As far as I am concerned, like most successful prostitutes, she got a pretty good deal considering she had little to bargain with. She has made up for her past life of porn and nudity buy charging the US citizens a fortune for the hair, make up and clothes she could not afford before. I wish she would take her spawn and ride off into the sunset.
13I just finished reading Mary Trump’s book “Too Much and Never Enough” about the Trump family and how Donald became the way he is thanks to his father, Fred. Highly recommend it.
Melania has no sympathy from me. I still think about the audio recording of her saying “I dun’t care about fooking chreesmus”. Yeah, that’s classy.
14Came from a poor place, climbed her way up towards wealth.( good for her if that’s what she wanted.
15Would have preferred an American wife, who loved & worked for America.
Don’t waste an ounce of sympathy on that glorified call girl. It’s a disgrace that she ever in our White House, let alone First Lady. She’s all in on the grift. Money is all she has ever cared about and she’ll do whatever she must to get it.
16Let’s talk about class, shall we? In the past, there was the nude modeling (and who knows what else); in the present, she was paid well north of $200K to give a speech to the Log Cabin Republicans. That’s the sort of thing First Ladies do for free–especially during a campaign.
I expect the FEC to come knocking, wanting to know why a spouse benefitted from campaign funds.
A pox on the House of Trump.
17But, but, she was admitted to the U.S. on an EB-1 genius visa.
18Genius for getting an attorney to do her application and for hooking up with the TFutureFG in the 90’s. Walking the runway and showing skin I guess was genius, too. Got her parents into the country as well. Ya, I can see she was a genius.
19For a humorous take on the family Trump, I recommend Squeeze Me by Carl Haiacin.
20She will shortly have what none of the previous First Ladies had…a generous divorce settlement. I forgot to look to see what the Vegas line is on this outcome.
21I have exactly as much sympathy for her as she has for any person not named Melania Trump, presumably including her own child. If the grift has fewer rewards than she hoped, tough luck.
22I feel the need to point out that the quip about “a first lady with class, finally” is merely a direct attack upon Michelle Obama. The racism is never far from the surface.
23