Roger Stoned?
Holeeee Cow, Roger Stone came up with the coolest conspiracy theory ever.
Stone claims, without any inkling of proof, that North Korea interfered in our election. Well, I shouldn’t say no proof. He does have some details.
He says —
“I just learned of absolute incontrovertible evidence of North Korean boats delivering ballots through a harbor in Maine, the state of Maine,” Stone said. “If this checks out, if law enforcement looked into that and it turned out to be true, it would be proof of foreign involvement in the election.”
Okay, here’s a map.
See the little red dot? That’s North Korea.
I trust you know where Maine is.
Helluva trip. Plus, I would think North Korean boats in a Maine harbor would draw some attention. We don’t trade with North Korea.
See, here they come up with true facts and everybody just laughs at them.
How could it be true? Little Rocket Man loves Donald.
1Roger says,”I’ve just learned…” and his majesty will repeat saying,”people are saying…”. This is like children playing the whisper game. Those guys need to go to the home for crazy old white men!
2How crazy is Roger? When he receives a “please don’t help” note from Rudy should be his first clue. Or, maybe a note from Karl Rove explaining how how that ratsoaping works. Karl can even clue him in when it fails like in Ohio. Right Karl?
3Stone may actually know where Korea is. He definitely knows that neither Trump nor his crazed cult could find it on a map, even with country names printed on it. Put that together with what Grandma Ada says @2, and you’ve got a genuine convincing conspiracy theory that will send Newsmax, ONAN, Fox totally bonkers.
Prompted by other news this morning I asked a Trump supporter in my neighborhood where Sudan is located (Asia? Africa? South America?). He figured I was trying to trick him and confidently said it was in Central America.
4Why not North Carolina? They both have North in their name. Surely that would make more sense to anyone who believes the first part of his absolute incontrovertible evidence. Don’t forget, Dennis Rodman was there to unload the boat.
5Professor, you might be giving your neighbor too much credit. It’s entirely possible he thought you were referring to the ’81 Ford LTD stolen from him in ’07.
6Nice one P.P.!
7It took me a moment – – but I’m sure true believers could find Fourdoor, Sudan on a map.
Rick, you got it right. Dennis Rodman has to be the incontrovertible evidence guy. Anything that comes out of his mouth has to be truly amazing. Let’s get him and the Stone’d man in a court with their proof, wearing their signature sunglasses, dressed like a couple of pimps, totally believable. Looks like promising witnesses for Sidney Powell. Or maybe the next 4 Seasons gong show.
8The Koreans are coming! The Koreans are coming! Everybody to get from street!
9https://youtu.be/QGgJPmOUmDU
It’s sad that 30+ years of Rush Limbaugh and his imitators on hate AM radio have so warped people’s minds that just reciting words they’ve been conditioned to hate triggers the programmed response.
Fnord.
10No, no, no!!!
They were there to steal lobsters! The cases were ice boxes…
11Then how the hell did Collins win?
12O.K., now I gotta see The Russians are Coming – I never had enough money for movies back in the 60s.
As for cars, on finding that I still drove a 91 Toyota Camry in 2015 one of my ever-respectful grad students told me “Toyota has a recall on those. Not that there’s anything wrong with the cars. Everybody just thinks it’s time for you to ditch that antique and buy a new one”.
I can’t figure out where they learn that level of snarkiness and sarcasm. They enter my lab as normal bright-eyed students, but turn into Groucho Marx by the time they graduate. Must be something in the water. Or maybe they’re reading this site?
13I swear! After this election I am downright sure that all the Repugs who sided with tRump have one helluva drinking problem!
14I suspect Stone is just jerking everybody’s chain.
15I really wish that there was some kind of legal consequences for these bogus conspiracy theories–especially when person spouts them in certain venues–like court or Whitehouse press briefings.
I get free speech amendment, but it does have the caveat about not if your speech endangers others, right? Giving authority (or faux authority) to these conspiracies endangers my mental health! And we’ve seen it fuel actual violence in far too many nut jobs.
16C.S. Lewis once commented (in an essay, I think, but I’ve misplaced that book, too) that people like to feel they’re in on the secret. Any secret. Some people are more attracted to being in on things than others, and if necessary will clump up with someone else to start a secret thing nobody else is in on yet, just so *they* can be the Authority on Whatever.
Conspiracy theorists are on the far end of the “room where it happens” fantasy game, and yes, their claims have real consequences and should be outed…but this stuff sells a lot better than debunking does. At least now.
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