Okay, I didn’t know how else to write that headline so you’d be mentally prepared for this.

Republican lawmakers in New Hampshire have decided that any new law passed this year must “include a direct quote from the Magna Carta which sets forth the article from which the individual right or liberty is derived.”

Okay, so going back to 1776 isn’t far enough for them.  Feudal England’s the ticket to freedom, dammit!  This means we have to release hostages held by the king and that no member of the d’Athée family can be a royal officer.  And that’s just for starters.  We have to restore disseised Welshmen and forgive twenty-five of the rebellious barons.  But, in the end, we have to run the whole thing by the Pope.

Now look, I consider the Magna Carta to be the greatest legal document ever written in the English language, but holy crap I doubt it says a whole lot about wiretapping or traffic laws.  On the upside, it does say that a widow is not required to remarry if she doesn’t want to, which is overly progressive in the religious right’s mind.

My favorite quote?

Upon seeing the bill, New Hampshire Democratic Party spokesman Ray Buckley said he was “mostly speechless.” “I appreciate all the hard work the Republican legislators are putting into the effort to make them look like extremists,” he said. “Saves us the trouble.”

And one of the bill’s Republican sponsors just couldn’t miss the opportunity to say this to the reading public —

Vita admitted he needs to “bone up” on the content of the charter, but said “it’s a document that still functions.”

Don’t say “bone up,” Dude.  Just don’t say that.

Thanks to Nancy for the heads-up.