Read The Damn Book, Joe.
My granddaddy used to say that a literate man in Texas is one who knows the difference between a quote from Shakespeare and one from the Bible. If you throw in Ben Franklin and Sophocles, you obviously have a degree from Rice University.
That would not be Smokey Joe Barton. You will remember Congressvarmint Barton as the Texas Republican who apologized to BP for our water messing up their oil.
Bless his heart, Joe claims to be a Super DeLux Brand Christian but, double bless his heart, he saw the movie version of the Bible. And he proudly displayed that fact on the teevee.
Bashir: I know you’re a long time member of the Methodist Church. Is that correct?
Barton: Yes, sir. That’s a true statement.
Bashir: How do you square your approach with the Psalm 146, where the Psalmist writes this: “He gives food to the hungry. The lord protects foreigners. He defends orphans and widows.” Isn’t this the exact opposite of the cuts being proposed by Republicans in congress?
Barton: No, the lord helps those who helps themselves…
Bashir: Which verse of scripture is that, sir?
Barton: Well, it’s uh..
Bashir: I don’t think you’ll find that in the Old or New Testament.
Barton: Well, that was taught to me by my father who is president of the United Methodist school board in Waco Texas, and Bryan, Texas.
Oh dear. I cannot tell you the number of times I’ve had the same argument with people who claim to be front row sitters at the church. That statement is antithetical to everything – everydarnthing – taught in the New Testament.
Best I know, that statement goes back to Sophocles, who wrote, “No good e’er comes of leisure purposeless; And heaven ne’er helps the men who will not act.” Sophocles died 400 years before Jesus was born, and his gods were pretty damn Greek. He worshiped Asclepius, same as Joe Barton, I guess.
How in the world did the teachings of Sweet Jesus become a justification of every man for himself? How did that happen?
Matthew 25:34-36 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.”
Read the damn book, Joe. It’s good.
Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.
Remember that Joe voted against funding for a health clinic for low income families in his district, then showed up at the facility’s opening to take credit for its existence. He has zero shame.
1My grand mother and mother used to tell me all the time that God helps those that help themselves.
2They even knew it was not from the bible, they just knew that their mothers told them that.
We always assumed it was some wise women who said it.
I know they are in heaven know, laughing at Joe Barton.
“Read the damn book, Joe.”
Joe is an Aggie, what makes you think he can read?
3What about the Bible quote that says to the effect ” in as much as you have done it to they least of these, you have done it unto to me.” (Apologies to my SBC minister uncle…but I got the gist of it there.)
4Thank you for preaching the sermon I would like to hear from every pulpit, every Sunday, and twice on Wednesday nights until the boneheads get it. How can you call yourself something if you don’t know the tenents of that “thing?” But the answer to my question was also included in the responses – you have to be able to read to hold informed opinions. Jus cause my daddy said so don’t make it true.
5I’d recommend someone give him “The Bible for Dummies” but I doubt he’d read it or, if he did, he’d be able to comprehend it. But then again, people like Barton just make crap up anyway to fit their worldview and attribute it to the bible.
6“How in the world did the teachings of Sweet Jesus become a justification of every man for himself? How did that happen?”
Ayn Rand. It tickles the lizard brain, which is the antithesis of Sweet Jesus.
7Sometimes ignorance is heritable. The Bartons seem to have been breeding for it.
Try Talking Books, Joe. If you believe what you hear, but are among those so blind they will not see, perhaps you might learn what the dear Lord said.
8“God helps them who help themselves.” Was inscribed by Saint Benjermin of Philadelphia in The book of Poor Richard’s Almanac.
9I agree with Cole. Benjamin Franklin was a good writer, but NOT the Bible.
10He’s a damn hypocrite. After the BP fiasco, and Barton’s apology, “White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs felt compelled to issue a statement: “What is shameful is that Joe Barton seems to have more concern for big corporations that caused this disaster than the fishermen, small business owners and communities whose lives have been devastated by the destruction. Congressman Barton may think that a fund to compensate these Americans is a ‘tragedy’, but most Americans know that the real tragedy is what the men and women of the Gulf Coast are going through right now. Members from both parties should repudiate his comments.”
11JJ, in my experience most Super DeLux Brand Christians don’t really read the Bible. They like beat you about the head and shoulders with it but they don’t read it. At least not with any cognitive skill. Most especially the red letters. You know, that stuff what Jesus said and all. Yeah, THAT Jesus. The one also called CHRIST. They just like to cherry pick the verses that suit them and wham away.
My NIV Bible calls the parable/story “The Sheep and the Goats.” That’s Matthew 25:31-45. Perhaps Joe might need to read verses 45-46 again (and again). 45 “He will reply: ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did NOT [emphasis mine] do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’ 46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”
Yes, I’m calling Joe a goat.
12Great sermon. Amen.
13“No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means.” — George Bernard Shaw
Thank you, JJ, for giving me a verse I’d missed when compiling a list of What Jesus Said– including “Don’t pray in public to show people how religious you are,” “Divorce and [re-re-re]remarriage are the same as adultery,” “Judge not lest ye be judged,” and… funny that… not a word about gays.
Saw a poll recently of self-identified Christians asked to name the first book of the New Testament. Is it Genesis, Matthew, Acts of the Apostles, Psalms, or Don’t Know? Only 35% said Matthew, and these are people who SAID they were Christians.
And some of those are the ones loudly telling the rest of us that we have to live our lives according to their unread book.
14Snort. A conservative friend tried that one on me during one of our many debates about politics. He was a Catholic, though. He was shocked when I told him “The Lord helps those that help themselves” was not from the Bible. I told him it was from Poor Richard’s Almanac (tho I might have been wrong on that score). But he sputtered, “well … well … there’s something LIKE that in the Bible!”
Dude.
15Another example of Bible Baloney is the notion that life begins at conception. I’ve never found a chapter and verse to support that. But if you search the Bible for the phrase ‘breath of life’ you’ll find that the Bible strongly supports the notion that life begins when God breathes the breath of life into a body.
16The twenty-fifth chapter of Matthew offers both a litmus test of religious sincerity and an enjoyable means to skewer hypocritical fundmentlists. To test the sincerity of a mega-church or a TV evangelist ask for copies of sermons based on that chapter. To skewer a fundy commit him to bibical inerrancy then ask him to explain the chapter in terms of his own belief.
17S. Beale – Having grown up in the Arms of Holy Mother The Church, at least my experience was that very few Catholics read much of the Bible…but then again, we never pretended that we did, either.
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