.

Juanita has asked me to warn all you good people to be on your best behavior tomorrow because Jesus is coming. (The link is work-safe, unless, of course, your boss gets violent over insanity.)

It should be pretty clear that the studies found in the book and this website look to this Feast of Trumpets 2010 (September 9th) as the time of the Rapture of the Church. That is less than a week away. Time is quickly running out.

“There is some discussion of what exact time zone Jesus observes, but I just wanted to give you a heads up so you can order your Proud of Texas / Ashamed of Rick Perry tee shirt to wear when Jesus comes tomorrow,” Juanita kindly offers.

“And I need to warn all those religious right folks to get rid of their pornography because Jesus might not know that it’s for research purposes only.”

“And Jesus doesn’t drink tea.  He drinks wine and I just happen to have a bottle of Llano Sweet Red, which trumps that frankincense stuff all to heck,” she says.

“I tell you what,” she continues, “it’ll be worth the wait just to see the shocked look on Sarah Palin’s and Pat Robertson’s face when Jesus asks, ‘Kids, what the fool tarnation were you thinking?'”

“Anyway, get your tee-shirt, get your hair done, and sweep the floor — we’re fixing to have company.”

“And Fox news?  Well, they’re just hopeless.  I’d put my money in ice and fans if I were them.”