Pope, Dude, That’s Messed Up
Like I’ve said before, the only man in a dress who I trust is RuPaul. Well, and maybe Lady Gaga, I haven’t decided on that one yet.
But, it’s definitely not the Pope. Maybe it’s because he wears a wedding dress every day, I dunno. I just don’t trust that guy.
So now the Pope is saying, get this, “future of mankind is at stake over gay marriage.”
Say Yes To The Dress
Well, I guess in a purely biological sense, he’s right. I mean, if everybody gets the gay, there won’t be reproduction and Toys R Us will go out of business. On the other hand, if that’s his reasoning, then the priesthood is a threat to mankind.
However, in a theological / social sense, he’s freekin’ nuts.
So, he’s saying that gay is more of a threat than divorce, murder, war, poverty, nuclear crap, mutant virus, zombies, and a Robert Palmer reunion tour? Look, total gay may be a slight threat to the NFL but even pro wrestling is safe.
On Monday, the Vatican’s newspaper described laws on gay marriage as an attempt at a communist-like “utopia”, a day after tens of thousands of demonstrators turned out in France to support legalizing both marriages and adoption for gay couples.
Okay, okay, he said communism. What the hell does gay have to do about controlling the means of production? Unless he means production as not having babies, that’s just goofy.
Secondly, since when did utopia become a bad thing?
Third, what’s some Nazi doing talking about communism? Look, I know the last German to do that was Hitler, but the comparison isn’t completely inappropriate in this case.
Hey Pope, I don’t mean to be disrespectful or anything, but kiss my butt.
Catholics base their religion on the New Testament, right? Did Jesus say one thing, EVER, about hating on the gays? I don’t think so.
1VeeGee is correct–Christ NEVER said anything about homosexuality! As a recovering Catholic, I will never forget nor forgive the Church for their silent, complicit way they allowed pedophiles to ruing so many innocent lives!
2He can kiss my white, wrinkled butt too. Pope, your protection of priests who abused children in all sorts of terrible ways, makes you just as awful as they are. You make Baby Jesus cry, not loving gay couples who want to marry and adopt children.
3To quote the late Earl Butz: He no playa da game, he no makea da rules. Darth Benedict, as my youngest calls him, shows an astounding lack of understanding of biology and human nature. Well, then there is that whole New Testament thingy too. You would think a pope would have a better understanding of the words of Jesus. You would think wrong.
4Pope Benny is infallible. And, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell.
5Nazis good? Pedophilia good? Gay bad? Hmmmmm….
Someone has his priorities mixed up.
6As a former Catholic, I personally think that the Pope is a greater threat to mankind then any gay marriage is.
The church has a dark history of abuse and allowing 1 man total authority.
And honestly, the church and it archaic rules will be the death of the church, not gay marriage. If they continue to allow only men to become Deacons and Priests, then the Catholic church will condemn itself.
How can/should anybody listen to a man that allowed priests to get away with pedophilia?
7On the Top Ten list of sexual perversions, celibacy comes in around #8. (Way below molesting children; just above molesting sheep.)
8The church lost all credibility with me during The Crusades and the accusations against Galileo.
I finally figured out Pastor Anybody has as much insight on God as I do so, I can save my own soul by cutting out the middle man and leaving organized religion completly. I’ve been alot happier & don’t have to listen to the idiot beliefs of a former Nazi.
9Was it no the Catholic Church that utilized castration to maintain an adequate soprano supply for it’s religious singing?
10How is this different than Homosexuality?
I t took years to change the ‘Castrati culture.”
Perhaps in someone’s lifetime the Catholic Church will mature.
Well, he has forgiven his butler for leaking confidential documents, so maybe he’s trying to pick up on the “judge not” part.
I’m not sure where Jesus was on the “use good judgment” part…I thought he was for it, but if this guy is his representative, I can’t be too sure…
11Appropriate time to share Tom Lehrer’s Vatican Rag
First you get down on your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!
Do whatever steps you want, if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff.
Everybody say his own
Kyrie eleison,
Doin’ the Vatican Rag.
Get in line in that processional,
Step into that small confessional,
There, the guy who’s got religion’ll
Tell you if your sin’s original.
If it is, try playin’ it safer,
Drink the wine and chew the wafer,
Two, four, six, eight,
Time to transubstantiate!
So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!
Make a cross on your abdomen,
12When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it’s good to see ya,
Gettin’ ecstatic an’
Sorta dramatic an’
Doin’ the Vatican Rag!
The Catholic church’s doctrine on birth control insures the death and poverty of women and children worldwide. While they live in decadent opulance, children starve and women suffer. They create misery wherever they are in control.
13I don’t think teh gayz will have much of an effect on football.
Well-built men, various body types? Check.
Tight pants? Check.
Spanking well-exercised butt cheeks? Check.
Touching a guy’s package? Check just before the ball is snapped.
Gosh, I love that game too!
14For those who are not gay, it always amazes me how they think they are such experts on the subject. Old men in flowing, gold embroidered robes, are not exactly the ones to be commenting on gays. If they really want to be a drag queen, they need to check with RuPaul first….:)
15That “church” lost whatever moral authority they thought they had, when they protected and moved around all those pedophile priests.
I liked the Polish pope much better.
16@scottybeamer: Have you checked out those red Prada shoes Benny wears? H-m-m-m-m
17This Pope needs to get over himself: he no longer speaks for all Christians or even all Catholics. He is out of touch with both God and humankind.
18No surprise. The Pope is sticking with opposition to contraceptives, too. As a long-time EX-catholic, I encourage all Catholics to read Sir Nicholas Cheetham’s “History of the Popes” to learn how the church developed from the beginning, and how it became so powerful. We can thank all those popes for the birth of our nation & the First Amendment’s freedom from domination by a state religion.
19Birth control was against church doctrine because they needed more people. They kept dying in plagues and such.
Now they’ve turned it into a moral issue.
20Lady Gaga wears a dress????????
21Homosexuality predates Christianity. End of story.
22I still love the Nuns on The Bus. Those ladies have got it right.
23NOW do you understand why most of us Catholics don’t listen to that guy? He has zero to do with my faith.
24In addition to condemning women and children to poverty by opposing birth control, remember the anti-condom campaign that discourages AIDS prevention.
The hierarchy of this church, and others like it, care only for their own power, not for people’s lives and well-being.
Jesus said nothing about homosexuals… or abortion. What he did condemn repeatedly was being rich, but those pages were torn out and thrown away a long time ago.
25This ought to blow your minds!
http://anthropologist.livejournal.com/1314574.html
26Oh sure, Pope. Tell us about how The Church knows the future of mankind. It only took 1500 years for you guys to admit that all people are human.
27As someone whose second native language is German, I have this to say to the pope: Götz von Berlichingen. It’s a circumlocution, derived from a nobleman who told a bishop he could lick out his butt. Appropriate in this case.
28@gramiam: that link doesn’t work for me. Are you sure you have the exact URL?
29Another recovering Catholic here. This Pope has done everything in his power to push me away. Many actions already listed above. This latest is par for the course.
I have many siblings, having come from a good Catholic family that ended in divorce after 25 years. Half of the hetero marriages have also ended in divorce while the gay relationship is foinf strong and one of the most loving and healthy,
So yeah, he can kiss my butt too.
30As a philosopher once said, “We won’t have peace on this earth until the last stone, from the last cathedral, falls on the last priest.”
31@Barb in DC…..yes, I noticed those lovely red shoes!
How quaint of him. I’m surprised there isn’t a yellow brick road leading to the vatican steps…….oh, wait.
I will heed a Pope when she is a woman. Maybe.
32What does the Catholic Church and the Republicans have in common? Both are run by old white men who don’t respect women!
33An article in the Houston Chronicle today reported that the pope has appointed The Rev. Robert Oliver, a canon law specialist at the Archdiocese of Boston to be “promoter of justice” at the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, the Vatican’s office that reviews all abuse cases. Olver was among the canon lawyers who advised Archbishop (later Cardinal) Law on sexual abuse cases in Boston. He continued advising the Arch-diocese of Boston after Law was forced to resign in 2002 amind an uproar over revelations that he had kept abusive priests working in parishes.
34There’s no way to make an intelligent comment on this. It makes me think of guns which is a good reason that I shouldn’t have an assault weapon.
Gay very very bad
Pederasty is almost a sacrament.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/25/world/europe/25vatican.html?_r=0
35@fenway Fran, the Polish Pope was a nightmare on gay and reproductive issues, too, just way more charming. That, and he seemed to really get poor people.
36Followers of the Pope in Rome have plans for “school vouchers” in the 2013 Texas Legislature. The bottom line is local property tax collection that ultimately becomes “vouchers.”
37I saw a GREAT bumper sticker in MO where I am visiting my daughter:
I’m STRAIGHT but not NARROW!
Want one! Meanwhile, I went to Mass last night at the local Catholic Student Center and met a lovely little priest who remembered my daughter’s name even though she is not a regular attender. He was very kind! Going to St Josephs or Elizabeth Ann Seaton tonight. Just like to remind everybody that the RC church is no better or worse than any other collection of morons you can assemble, only larger and worldwide, so the opportunity for stupid is endless!. Also that the Peter principle of Murphy’s laws was very probably named for the papacy! I could cite evidence but it is boring and depressing, so I will just wish you all a very Merry Christmas or joyful winter holiday season instead! NOT NARROW – and after the quantities of chocolate and wine ive been socking away, much afraid I am working on WIDE even!! 😀
38Wouldn’t a Robert Palmer Reunion Tour have, of necessity, zombies?
39