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Juanita had the livin’ daylights scared outta her when some of you guys started sending her email about the Alaskan who has been nominated for a high level position in government who wants to criminalize hoochy-koochy.

Gov. Sean Parnell’s appointee for the panel that nominates state judges testified Wednesday that he would like to see Alaskans prosecuted for having sex outside of marriage.

“Y’all need to warn me when you send me stuff like that,” she says.  “The first email I got cut off the sentence in the subject line, and I thought they were going to criminalize sex outside.”

“Not in Texas, you won’t.  I can promise you that.  Maybe in Alaska where it’s colder than a witch’s ta-ta in a brass bra in the shade of an iron commode.  But, not here.”

“Besides, if  you criminalize sparkin’ outside of marriage, there won’t be any Republicans to run for Congress.”