Phew! Thank God That’s Over
Y’all, do not worry about Florence. Pat Robertson fixed it.
He tossed a Shield of Protection – a term I suspect he trademarked – around the east coast. I know a hurricane has an eye but apparently it has an ear, too, and takes commands from Pat Robertson.
“In the name of Jesus, you Hurricane Florence, we speak to you in the name of Jesus, and we command the storm to cease its forward motion and go harmlessly into the Atlantic. Go up north away from land and veer off in the name of Jesus. We declare in the name of the lord that you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area.”
And the hurricane responded, “yes’um.”
Pat assures us that it’s worked against other hurricanes in the past. He says —
“It’s almost hilarious to see them try,” he said. “They try to get in and they can’t, and then they go north and they turn around, try to come back in. They can’t do it.”
Well, you can’t argue with success.
Thanks to Carl for the heads up.
Ah, if only…
I have a sib joking about PT and wine (staying in SC), and I reminded her 45 will take care of the PT…
1GAHHH.
Joking about TP…
2Hilarious.
3That’s the word to remember.
Hilarious.
Cough. Cough. Bull$hit. Cough. Cough.
One of my favorite electric tee vee shows, Young Sheldon, covered this issue marvelously. Texans understand how ridiculous is the idea of praying away a tornado or a hurricane.
4When it comes out that folks ignored evacuation orders because of this jackwagon, and lost loved ones because of it,
5Well,
I guess the hilarity will ensue.
Micr,
That ain’t true. A few years back I recall a pious group praying that the hurricane would avoid Houston–not that it wouldn’t make landfall, just not there.
I was so furious about it. At least this guy asserts harmless choices for redirection.
And then we have the ever popular, pray for rain during drought approach of an ex-governor.
Sigh, when humans have no control…the scientist study it to try and find a way to control and the religious person either tries to bargain or command “God” to provide the sense of control. We humans can be very flawed in our reactions to things.
6I read about this yesterday and sent the article to my cousin who lives in Virginia. He’s vacationing in Spain right now. I told him not to come back and he told me he’s working, right now, to change his flight.
Anyhow, when I sent him the piece, he shot back, “Is he still alive?”
7The only accurate answer to that question is, “No. But he hasn’t realized it yet.”
Bless his heart.
8I saw some Shields of Protection in the women’s aisle at Rite Aid. This the same sort of deal?
9Hmmmm. Always thought that sort of ploy was simply to prove just how powerful the beseecher is, not God.
10@ Two Crows
11(channeling Molly Ivins) They didn’t hold Pat under the water long enough when they baptized him.
Decades ago, I saw Pat declare a hurricane had never hit the Virginia Beach area (where he is) because God was so pleased with Pat that He put a hand of protection over Pat. How nice that Pat has such an in with the Lord that he can command larger protection areas now. Good to know I can rest easy about my family in NC because Pat has everything under control.
12Well according to the Big Book o’BS jesus said ‘ask anything in my name & it shall be granted’! Too bad for Pat but JC was a liar!
13@Star
Yeah. Right. Where Hurricanes and tornadoes go is a crap shoot. Natural Forces I don’t understand and maybe some I do understand dictate their directions of travel. Neither has intellect or will or whim. Safer and more fun to purchase a lottery ticket.
14I guess he forgot to pray for Dallas last year, and of course, wouldn’t have, for Puerto Rico, because well, you know.
15Buttermilk Sky
16You win the internet today. Can’t stop chuckling as I close the laptop and go out to pull weeds.
And if the storm hits anyway, Pat will blame feminists, Democrats, Hillary, Obama, gays…
17Retired Lt. Gen. Honore was just on MSNBC taking big hunks out of FEMA et al. on the “preparations” for the storm. Per the General, FEMA is in now way really able to help immediately because they are still tied up with last year’s storms. Plus FEMA only comes in after the damage has been done. He urged all sane people in the path of the storm to just get the hell out of the way by as much as 200 miles; take their scrips with them, money, some food and water because not all shelters are going to have enough of that, and to not faint dead away when they discover the shelters are armories and arenas set up with army cots and no privacy. Sounds dreadful as all hell, but it is nice to hear from him. For him I have respect.
18@L.Long-with all due respect, Mr Robertson isn’t half as interested in Jesus’ name recognition as he is in his own…
19Hey, Pat, go to Hilton Head on Thursday and tell Florence that. Hang on to your hair.
20The last time I remember Pat setting a Shield of Protection (+5) against a hurricane was in 2003 against Isobel. The hurricane immediately turned north on a straight course for Virginia Beach, home of Regent University and CBN
21Something I always wondered: If the deity is omniscient, then the deity knows the future. If the deity knows the future, then the deity already knows the path this storm will take. So, then, what good does it do to pray for it to take some other path? If Pat thinks he can command it to change its path, then he must think he’s the deity.
22When that storm hits, we’ll know who to blame. That goofball buy-bull peddler who gave misdirection to Florence. If there was an iota of aim involved in their myths, they’d all have been scorched by lightning. Multiple times.
Confusing bunch of theocrats, too. It’s their settled dogma that the gays are responsible for all destruction, yet the thumpers claim to be the clowns at the steering wheel.
23So why doesn’t he do this for floods and tornadoes?
24Or does he pray and it doesn’t work and he will not admit it?
You notice he did leave himself an out on this: He warned followers that they must have no doubts in their faith for the ritual to work.
So when Florence destroys CBN, he can say “See? You didn’t believe hard enough! It’s your fault, ye of little faith! Don’t look at me!”
25Buttermilk Sky –
Intriguing idea. But I don’t think they make shields with sufficient absorbency.
26If he can do it, why didn’t God just do it his ownself? Or not send the hurricane in the first place.
27I’ve watched documentaries about deadly storms in the past. Without exception, someone says during every one of those shows, “God was watching over me.” The way they know that is that they prayed and they’re still alive.
So, God didn’t care about all those other people who prayed — and died? Just what kind of God do they pray to anyhow?
I think we know what kind of God Ol’ Pat prays to. Its initials are P.R.
28@ TexasTrailerParkTrash:
So, if people evacuate — as the state has told them to — it’s their fault when Florence makes landfall. They should have stayed put to prove to God how much faith they have.
And the ones who have faith in Pat Robertson and stay where they are and then die didn’t have enough faith either.
Either way, Pat’s off the hook.
29“It’s almost hilarious to see them try,” he said. “They try to get in and they can’t, and then they go north and they turn around, try to come back in. They can’t do it.”
Sounds like a rational thought trying to get into ol’ Pat’s brain.
30Madame Pele has a better record of diverting hurricanes then pat’s delusional fantasy creature.
31“They try to get in and they can’t, and then they go north and they turn around, try to come back in. They can’t do it.”
I thought ole Pat was talking about his vain attempts to engage in sex.
32Actually there is really good Science as to where a hurricane strikes. It’s not all that random. KHON2.com in Oahu has had a young woman atmospheric scientist on explaining a lot of these issues. It was fascinating and I recommend anyone interested to watch her presentations.
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