Do you want to know why we can’t get help to Puerto Rico?  Let Trump tell you why.

“It’s very, very tough because it’s an island,” the president said, asserting that his government received “A+” marks for responding to storms in Texas and Florida. “The difference is this is an island sitting in the middle of an ocean — and it’s a big ocean, a really, really big ocean.”

Oh hell, I didn’t realize that the Atlantic Ocean was bigger than say, your average Olympic size swimming pool or something.  It’s not just big or even really big.  It is, my friends, really really big.  Not as big as the sun, of course, which is really, really, really big.

You know, we could solve his thinking by making Mar-a-Lago an island.  Has anybody got a backhoe I can borrow?

And then the damfool says of Puerto Ricans that he’s from New York and knows many Puerto Ricans.  He adds, “They are hardy people.”  Somebody, please, take away his eugenics book.

REVIST:

Customer Brian found a brilliant explanation of Trump’s Puerto Rico hate.  It’s all about Trump’s money.

After losing his Tennessee bid for the Congress, Davy Crockett angrily shouted, “You may all to go to hell.  I’m going to Texas.”

And today we have Paul Chabot, who after losing a California congressional bid by 11 percentage points (it was his second such loss), packed it all in and moved to McKinney, Texas, which is in Collin County, north of Dallas.

Chabot thinks he’s in the holy land, and he wants to make money off of it. The LA Times went to talk to him.

“It’s like living a dream,” he said as he steered his golf cart down his cul-de-sac on a muggy afternoon recently, past large brick homes decorated with American flags and meticulously trimmed lawns. “You don’t see graffiti. You don’t see gang members, or police helicopters circling the neighborhood.”

So, he set up a company called Conservative Move and “Helping families move Right” is the slogan. Chabot is trying to get conservative Californians to move to Texas to … I dunno, have a better white life?  Oops, I mean right life.  (I gotta remember to call the dogs with my whistle.)

I just don’t know if Chabot picked the right place.  Collin County went red the exact same time that Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  Within one election, they went from voting 70% Democratic to 36% Democratic.

However, they are losing their edge.

In fact, Democrats are targeting Collin County next year because it looks like we can flip a couple of state house seats there.

Poor Paul Chabot. Democracy and Democrats spread like wildfire and Dallas County, which is decidedly blue, is right underneath him, so bless his heart, he is literally on the hot seat.  Ironically enough, the Collin County Democratic Chairman said the latest Democratic gains are due to the “Californiazation of Texas.”  Thanks, Chabot!

So, Chabot took it one step further.  He recently open a new SUPER-PAC called Keep Texas Red.

Oh Lord, he’s gonna be sending us more Californians.  After their first summer here, they will all go to Chabot’s air conditioned house and whine.

And if Chabot wants to follow in the path of Davy Crockett, he needs to remember how Crockett ended up.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Tweeto Jesus and his squawking heads made Hillary’s use of a private email server a central issue in last year’s election.  Every single rally included chants of, “Lock her up!” for her email “scandal”.  Oh, how times have changed.  At least six current and former WH staffers have been caught using private email accounts for official business, and, in fact, Jared Kushner and Ivanka have actually set up their own server, dubbed Javanka, exactly like Hillary and Bill did, with the exception that the Clinton server was actually set up by the Secret Service.

Conservative media and Trump himself immediately reacted to the news of the innappropriate use of these accounts with the following response:

Hypocrisy! Table for one!

I’m here to tell you that if Puerto Rico had white people living there (1) they would be a state and (2) they would be getting the help they so desperately need right now.

Let’s rent out a few cruise ships and send them to house people until we can get some emergency shelters on the island.  Let’s use the National Guard to help clear the island and restore fresh drinking water.  Let’s send power generators until electricity is restored.

This is Trump’s Katrina.

Attention, please.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Louie Gohmert thinks Arizona voters should recall John McCain immediately, not of course because he isvoting against Repeal and Replace.  According to Louie, McCain should be recalled because he has cancer.

Rep. Louie Gohmert believes Arizona Sen. John McCain should be recalled while he battles brain cancer and so that the GOP can replace him with someone who will support the party’s latest effort to repeal the 2010 health care law.

“Nothing inhibits recovery from cancer like stress,” the Texas Republican told “Fox & Friends” on Monday morning. “I think Arizona could help him, and us. Recall him, let him fight successfully this terrible cancer, and let’s get someone in here who will keep the word he gave last year.”

I dunno, but I would imagine having your healthcare taken away while you are battling cancer would give you a fair amount of stress.  But we’re not talking about about other people with cancer. Louie doesn’t care about their stress.

Louie does stuff for your own good because he’s a Baptist deacon.  And he thinks a recall election would not cause stress.

Okay, see, this is why I hate this guy. He’s the meanest sumbitch in Texas and, Honey, that’s saying something.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Okay, we are taking bets and bragging rights right here at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.  You will win bragging rights and public recognition with your beauty shop name posted on the bulletin board over by the hair washing sinks if you win this thing, or you come closest.

Crazy Butt Moore

Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell went to Alabama to campaign for Luther Strange in the GOP primary run-off election for US senate. Strange’s opponent, one Crazy Butt Roy Moore, is leading by 10.8 points today.  Another poll shows him leading by 8.6 points.

The election is tomorrow.

Crazy Butt Moore is leading. As a connoisseur of cornbread and friend okra politics, I enjoy watching these things and will be tuned in tighter than usual because the Astros have already made the playoffs.

Here’s the bet: you pick the winner and the point spread.  You post it here by midnight tonight.  You get your name on the poster board and I will send you a copy of Timothy Snyder’s “On Tyranny,” which I’m reading now and think it’s worth your time.

You must enter the exact number, as in 3.8 or 12.1. If you enter just the number 5 or 7, you’re automatically disqualified for not reading to the end of the post before getting all excited for Thelma to write your name on poster board.

Okay, here’s a REVISIT on this race.

Donald Trump went on an Alabama talk radio show this morning claimed he knew why Luther Strange should win the primary.

A primary win by “Ray” Moore would open Alabama’s U.S. Senate seat to Democrats, President Donald Trump told radio-hosts “Rick and Bubba” this morning.

Trump repeatedly called Roy Moore the incorrect Ray Moore.

When host Rick Burgess clarified that Moore’s first name was Roy and not Ray, Trump came back with why it’s “not a good sign” when the president doesn’t know your name.

No, not so much.  Especially when the president doesn’t know diddle squat.

Hellfire, Trump didn’t even know who Frederick Douglass is or that Luciano Pavarotti had died ten years before Trump declared him his “great friend.”