It has admittedly been awhile. I am doing my writing elsewhere on my own page. I won’t broadcast that here, but some people know where that is. However, I felt the need to address a group called “StopHoustonmurders.com”. They have set their sight on Democratic judges locally and have run a whole litany of ads. These ads tend to find themselves on what I affectionately call “old people television.” I encountered probably 40 of them in the span of an hour when watching “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”

When I say 40 I am not exaggerating. The general course is run about five or six of these ads back to back even having them interrupt other ads for other products. The setup is the same. You see a bunch of people holding up posters of dead loved ones with the voiceover focusing on one of those. It tells you that their loved one was killed by a criminal that a “bad judge” had released. These bad judges are “all Democrats” so we should vote them out to help protect our community.

With all apologies to momma, my bullshit detector was going off and it was screaming at me. Immediately we begin to ask the questions everyone should ask. Are we supposed to take your word for it that all of these judges are Democrats? What were the circumstances of these cases where they “released a criminal”? Did they serve their full sentence? Did a parole board grant their parole? Were they convicted of a violent felony or were they nonviolent offenders that suddenly committed a violent offense?

Tip O’Neill once said that all politics is local. You don’t get any more local than the home. Someone that is out of work or can’t afford to make ends meet doesn’t care how well the economy is doing. Someone that has had a loved one murdered doesn’t care about crime rates. I think we all get that. However, most of us don’t have a loved one that was murdered. So, those crime rates matter and it matters in particular if you are going to question the policy of judges and other elected law enforcement officials.

I know everyone is going to be shocked to hear this, but the rates of violent crime in both the United States and Houston are down. For Houston, it went down from 2022 to 2023. So, it would seem that is little empirical evidence to suggest that the policies of these so-called Democrat judges are making things worse. Again, I know you are shocked.

Instead what we have is yet another example of right wing political groups ratcheting up fear and hatred in order to score political points. More insidiously, they are using real victims to put forth this manufactured issue. It is not dissimilar to the Trump campaign using “data” that shows that two thirds of voters are worried about the economy. When you do nothing but tell people how bad the economy is then is it any wonder that people suddenly think the economy is bad?

Similarly, if you tell people that America is becoming a lawless hellscape then is it any wonder that many people assume that crime rates are out of control? It is all they have at this point. By all means, don’t provide any context. Just bombard people with imagery of Gotham and crime that is out of control. Make sure to imply that it is “the other” that is usually committing these crimes. You alone can fix it by throwing them in jail and throwing away the key. That will do the trick.

Question: Which House Committee has oversight of the US Armed services?
Answer: The House Armed Services Committee.

Question: Armed Services is a big budget item. Do they break up this onerous oversight task into manageable pieces?
Answer: Yes. There are six subcommittee that handle six different areas.

Question: Which sub-committee handles naval construction matters?
Answer: The House Sub-Committee on Seapower and Projection Forces.

Question: So if there is mismanagement and overcharging in naval construction contracts, this sub-committee would ferret that out?
Answer: Are you joking? This is a House sub-committee we’re talking about, right?

When Austral USA LLC (Austral USA), a Mobile, Alabama-based shipbuilder that constructs vessels for the U.S. Navy and U.S. Coast Guard, was charged with accounting fraud as well as obstruction of that investigation, they pleaded guilty last August and has agreed to pay $24 million to resolve the investigation by the Justice Department, the Defense Contract Audit Agency (DCAA) and the Naval Criminal Investigative Service (NCIS).

Not the House sub-committee charged with oversight of naval construction contracts, no way.

And I guess that’s a good thing because when Austral USA was asked – not once, but  twice – by the FEC to file disbursement reports from their Austral USA LLC Federal Political Action Committee (PAC), they finally found out that Austral gave two members of the sub-committee campaign cash: Ronny Jackson, TFG’s former physician, and Rob Whitman (R – VA-01).

That is good because, for some reason, it is perfectly OK to send campaign donations to congressmen who are tasked with oversight of your business doings.

Because if there is oversight of their oversight, at least there is someone around to do it – even if it is the dreaded “deep state” that does it.

Doesn’t every little boy at some point want to be a firefighter or a cop? Apparently, even rich little boys like Eric Trump do. So of course, the Sheriff of St. Lucie County, FL, came through and deputized him.

Never mind that he has NO law enforcement background or training. And he doesn’t even live in St. Lucie County. Neither is required in Floriduh. As long as you meet ‘minimum recruitment requirements’, you get full powers of arrest. Unless you are only hired to write parking tickets.

How does this happen? Well,  you know there’s a back story, but it involves ethics investigations of the current and former sheriffs, big buck fundraisers for DeSantis, and more tangled webs than I wanted to get into here. You are welcome to follow links in the article for some fascinating reading if you have nothing else to do. Bottom line, Sheriff and Governor are fan boys of TFG over in Mar a Lago.

Karma had an opinion. The next day, a tornado in advance of Hurricane Milton hit the Sheriff’s Department Building. Thank you, Karma, you B!

Don the Con is here today on the Left Coast, trying to scare up more voters with the countdown to November 5th getting lower than his approval ratings here.

I’m kidding.

Von Shitzenpantz has no more voters here that are available to persuasion. Not. One.

But grifters gotta grift, and there are vast treasures in the California desert to rake in.

So Coachella it is, and it is today that another sheep shearing has been scheduled to replenish The Don’s dwindling lucre. Because it has come to this: swing state voters have lost their allure for Bronzer Boy. They’re in flyover states, for one, and for another, that’s not where the money is. It’s next door in Orange County. And it’s definitely in Rancho Mirage, a mere stone’s throw from Coachella Valley.

So, if you’re going to the Calhoun Ranch today to see TFG at his massive rally, bring lots of cash for bibles, trading cards, high tops, watches, and TFG water. And the weather is perfect! It’ll only be a mild 102°F (39°C) today.

Getting TFG’s goat has become the new national pastime. This piece in The Atlantic explains the whole thing as a recent phenomenon that is in direct opposition to Michelle Obama’s oft-repeated platitude “When they go low we go high.” It might have all started, as the article suggests, with Tim Walz’s “weird” comment, but I’ve heard wry wit about him on late night shows for years.

So to get ready for tomorrow’s cartoon bonanza, here’s some bad and not-so-bad jokes about Bronzer Boy.
__________________

Trump was visiting an elementary school class. He asked the class to give an example of a tragedy.

A boy raised his hand. “My aunty died last week. That was a tragedy.” Trump said, “No, no, believe me that was a loss, not a tragedy.”

A girl raised her hand. “My Daddy fell off a ladder and broke his arm. It was a tragedy.”
Trump said, “No my dear, that was an accident.”

Another girl raised her hand. “If you, sir, are flying in an airplane and a missile shot it down, that would be a tragedy.” Trump responded, “Very good! Tell the class why that is a tragedy.”

“Well, Mr. Trump, she replied. “It certainly would be no loss and I am sure it wouldn’t be an accident!”
—–

Four doctors were sitting together were having coffee.

The English doctor bragged. “We are so clever that we transplanted a heart into a patient and he was able to function properly in a few months!”

The German doctor replied, “That is nothing. Our country is so advanced that we were able to replace a man’s backbone and in a few weeks he is able to walk!”

The Russian doctor interrupted them. “My country is above all of you. My patient needed a whole brain transplant and in a few days he is able to walk AND find a job.”

The American doctor said, “We are the most clever people. We treated a man with no heart, no backbone and no brains and he became our president overnight!!!”
—–

Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, “No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I’ve been in a brothel.” The second barber turned to Barack and said, “How about you, Mr. Obama?” Barack replied, “Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn’t know what the inside of a brothel smells like.”
—–

Donald Trump and JD Vance are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Trump and JD Vance sitting over there?”

The bartender says, “Yep, that’s them.”

So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, what are you guys doing in here?’

Trump says, “We’re planning WW III.”

The guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

Trump says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.”

The guy exclaimed, “A blonde with big tits?Why kill a blonde with big tits?”

Trump turns to JD and says, “See? I told you, no one gives a shit about 140 million Muslims.”
—–

During a dull White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State.

“I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!”

“Very impressive,” said the SecState,. “But, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn’t really understand what they all mean”

“Oh, I know”, replied Melania, “but neither does the parrot.”
—–

Trump was in the Oval Office at 3 am, tweeting away. Suddenly, Satan appeared in front of him. “Donald,” he said, “I have a proposition. I will give you even more power and wealth than you can imagine, if you give me your soul.”

Trump sat back a moment and asked, “What’s the catch?”
—–

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Donald Trump never had a garbanzo bean on his face.
—–

A guy walks into the local progressive book store. While perusing the racks the clerk came over and said “May I help you?”

“Do you have that new Donald Trump book, the one where he outlines how he feels about immigrants and Muslims?”

“Fuck you, shut up and get out!”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
—–

A thief, a philanderer and a pathological liar walk into a bar and the barkeeper says “What’ll it be Mr. Trump?”
—–

At a news conference, a journalist said to the President, “Your former secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this?”

“The truth is,” replied Trump, “that she has a big mouth.”
—–

How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We’ll never know. Once he’s done screwing something he pays it $130,000 to never talk about it.
—–

Once Donald Trump entered a bar. And he lowered it.
—–

Q: Why are Donald Trump’s ties so long?

A: Because they go all the way to Russia.
—–

Donald and I have a lot in common. We both live in New York, we both play golf, and we both fantasize about his daughter.
—–

Late in his term, President Trump wrote an order outlawing pre-shredded cheese.

This will make America grate again.
—–

Donald and Melania were walking across the White House lawn to the helicopter when Melania said, “Oh how sad! A dead bird.”

Donald looked up toward the sky and said “Where?”
—–

A boy was walking along the Potomac River in 2017 when he heard someone yelling “Help”. He saw someone in the water flailing his arms. The boy dove in and pulled the man to shore. He was shocked to discover that the man was Donald Trump. Donald said, “You have just saved the life of the president of the USA, and I am so grateful that I will do anything you want.” The boy asks, “could you arrange for me to be buried in Arlington national cemetery?” Trump asks, “Aren’t you a little young to be thinking about death?” The boy answers, “Not when my father finds out what I did today!”