Getting TFG’s goat has become the new national pastime. This piece in The Atlantic explains the whole thing as a recent phenomenon that is in direct opposition to Michelle Obama’s oft-repeated platitude “When they go low we go high.” It might have all started, as the article suggests, with Tim Walz’s “weird” comment, but I’ve heard wry wit about him on late night shows for years.

So to get ready for tomorrow’s cartoon bonanza, here’s some bad and not-so-bad jokes about Bronzer Boy.
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Trump was visiting an elementary school class. He asked the class to give an example of a tragedy.

A boy raised his hand. “My aunty died last week. That was a tragedy.” Trump said, “No, no, believe me that was a loss, not a tragedy.”

A girl raised her hand. “My Daddy fell off a ladder and broke his arm. It was a tragedy.”
Trump said, “No my dear, that was an accident.”

Another girl raised her hand. “If you, sir, are flying in an airplane and a missile shot it down, that would be a tragedy.” Trump responded, “Very good! Tell the class why that is a tragedy.”

“Well, Mr. Trump, she replied. “It certainly would be no loss and I am sure it wouldn’t be an accident!”
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Four doctors were sitting together were having coffee.

The English doctor bragged. “We are so clever that we transplanted a heart into a patient and he was able to function properly in a few months!”

The German doctor replied, “That is nothing. Our country is so advanced that we were able to replace a man’s backbone and in a few weeks he is able to walk!”

The Russian doctor interrupted them. “My country is above all of you. My patient needed a whole brain transplant and in a few days he is able to walk AND find a job.”

The American doctor said, “We are the most clever people. We treated a man with no heart, no backbone and no brains and he became our president overnight!!!”
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Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty. As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, “No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I’ve been in a brothel.” The second barber turned to Barack and said, “How about you, Mr. Obama?” Barack replied, “Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn’t know what the inside of a brothel smells like.”
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Donald Trump and JD Vance are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, “Isn’t that Trump and JD Vance sitting over there?”

The bartender says, “Yep, that’s them.”

So the guy walks over and says, “Wow, what are you guys doing in here?’

Trump says, “We’re planning WW III.”

The guy says, “Really? What’s going to happen?”

Trump says, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits.”

The guy exclaimed, “A blonde with big tits?Why kill a blonde with big tits?”

Trump turns to JD and says, “See? I told you, no one gives a shit about 140 million Muslims.”
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During a dull White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State.

“I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!”

“Very impressive,” said the SecState,. “But, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn’t really understand what they all mean”

“Oh, I know”, replied Melania, “but neither does the parrot.”
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Trump was in the Oval Office at 3 am, tweeting away. Suddenly, Satan appeared in front of him. “Donald,” he said, “I have a proposition. I will give you even more power and wealth than you can imagine, if you give me your soul.”

Trump sat back a moment and asked, “What’s the catch?”
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What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Donald Trump never had a garbanzo bean on his face.
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A guy walks into the local progressive book store. While perusing the racks the clerk came over and said “May I help you?”

“Do you have that new Donald Trump book, the one where he outlines how he feels about immigrants and Muslims?”

“Fuck you, shut up and get out!”

“Yeah, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?”
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A thief, a philanderer and a pathological liar walk into a bar and the barkeeper says “What’ll it be Mr. Trump?”
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At a news conference, a journalist said to the President, “Your former secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this?”

“The truth is,” replied Trump, “that she has a big mouth.”
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How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We’ll never know. Once he’s done screwing something he pays it $130,000 to never talk about it.
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Once Donald Trump entered a bar. And he lowered it.
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Q: Why are Donald Trump’s ties so long?

A: Because they go all the way to Russia.
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Donald and I have a lot in common. We both live in New York, we both play golf, and we both fantasize about his daughter.
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Late in his term, President Trump wrote an order outlawing pre-shredded cheese.

This will make America grate again.
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Donald and Melania were walking across the White House lawn to the helicopter when Melania said, “Oh how sad! A dead bird.”

Donald looked up toward the sky and said “Where?”
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A boy was walking along the Potomac River in 2017 when he heard someone yelling “Help”. He saw someone in the water flailing his arms. The boy dove in and pulled the man to shore. He was shocked to discover that the man was Donald Trump. Donald said, “You have just saved the life of the president of the USA, and I am so grateful that I will do anything you want.” The boy asks, “could you arrange for me to be buried in Arlington national cemetery?” Trump asks, “Aren’t you a little young to be thinking about death?” The boy answers, “Not when my father finds out what I did today!”

As a public service, here are nine hurricane disaster rumors concocted between October 3rd and today (10/09), currently being spread online by people who find the need to pull alternative facts out of their A-Double-Scribbles. The list can be found here at the FEMA Rumor Response website along with explanations.

Some people have apparently found it completely necessary to scare the living bejeesus out of “MAGA Snowflakes.” No, I didn’t coin that term, but I wish I had.

▪︎ FEMA will only provide $750 to disaster survivors to support their recovery.

▪︎ FEMA is blockading people in Florida and preventing evacuations.

▪︎ FEMA only provides loans to disaster survivors.

▪︎ Applying multiple times for disaster assistance will speed up the process of being approved.

▪︎FEMA is no longer accepting applications for housing assistance.

▪︎ FEMA does not have enough money to provide disaster assistance for Helene.

▪︎ FEMA is asking for cash donations and turning away volunteers.

▪︎ Funding for FEMA disaster response was diverted to support international efforts or border related issues.

▪︎ FEMA is confiscating donations for survivors.

I know. These rumors are absolutely unbelievable and one wonders how anyone can swallow these lies made out of whole cloth. But then they tell me the whole presidential election is a tossup and is anybody’s to win. So if you need an explanation, there’s that.

Vice President Kamala Harris has admitted on 60 Minutes that she owns a Glock pistol, and The Daily Caller has called on her to … well … lay that pistol down.

Not that The Daily Caller is anti-gun. Far from it. The Daily Caller is a right-wing conspiracy spreader founded by former Fox News pundit and neofascist Tucker Carlson.

But oh, the hypocrisy! The humanity! A Democratic presidential candidate owns a pistol that is currently illegal to buy or sell in California!

It’s a hypocrisy the likes of which the entire world has never seen before. It’s bigly!

Harris’s Glock, as are all Glocks, is equipped to accept a 15-bullet magazine when, according to a California state gun safety law passed in 2000, the magazines cannot hold more than 10 rounds. Glocks are also not equipped with a loaded chamber indicator and magazine disconnect as required by California’s law.

Harris, they say, could be arrested! They could throw her in jail for a year! TFG may have 34 felony convictions, but he wouldn’t be the only presidential jailbird! Not by a long shot!

Or not.

Turns out the very same law exempts present and former law enforcement officers from its provisions, which Kamala Harris, as a former AG, is one of.

But she could be arrested if she wasn’t!

Near as I can tell, The Daily Caller wouldn’t object to every American’s God-given right to own a TOW anti-tank missile launcher or an M249 Squad Automatic Weapon (a SAW machine gun). But somehow, Harris’s ownership of a Glock pistol is an issue worth column inches.

I gotta say, when the neofascists want to show off their hypocrisy, they do go all out, don’t they?

Von Shitzenpantz is an empty shell. There is not an atom of guilt, of empathy, or of common decency in his psyche.

How else do you explain the cognitive dissonance that is fully on display in this photo-op of his taken earlier today at a Jewish memorial service that marks one year since the heinous terror attack on Israeli civilians?

I don’t care where you are in the endless wars in the Middle East. That picture tells you all that you need to know about Bronzer Boy’s state of mind.

What there is of it, that is.

I’ll say right up front that I am not a fan of billionaires who donate outrageous amounts of money to presidential campaigns. It’s a blight on our republican democracy for such stupendous amounts of money to be made available to politicians of any stripe.

That being said, I do take some comfort in knowing that, at least in this case, some Silicon Valley tech lucre will not flow into TFG’s coffers.

On Friday, tech billionaire venture capitalist Ben Horowitz, along with his wife, withdrew their support for Don the Con – and shifted their endorsement to the Harris/Walz side.

It’s a win that The Don will not be advantaged by at least one billionaire’s lucre, and to make the win sweeter, Horowitz’s partner, Marc Andreason, has also pulled his support from The Orange One.

Said Horowitz, in part, in a xeet on “X:”

“As I mentioned before, Felicia and I have known Vice President Harris for over 10 years, and she has been a great friend to both of us during that time. She’s also been a friend to the firm in our early days, helping with several events at my house when we built the original Cultural Leadership Fund network. As a result of our friendship, Felicia and I will be making a significant donation to entities who support the Harris Walz campaign.”

Get that? It’s personal, not business. Horowitz went on to say that Harris’s position on Crypto and AI is unknown, and they are “hopeful” that Harris will have a more moderate view than Biden on that stuff.

Doesn’t matter. Just make sure that if they donate in bitcoin to get that changed to dollars. ASAP.

And, yeah, Felicia is Horowitz’s wife, obviously, but her farewell to TFG is especially appropriate.