November 09, 2021 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Y’all, this is *almost* too good to be true. This is Breaking Texas News.
Louie Gohmert is going to run against Ken Paxton.
And after you settle down laughing about that — what does this make George P Bush? Chopped liver?
Honey, I will buy tickets to a debate between Gohmert and Paxton.
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
I like how his webpage, which begs for $1,000,000 begins with “Why Louie Gohmert?”
It’s almost the same sentence I use every time Louie opens his mouth and says something reliably stupid, except I’m usually shaking my head back and forth with face in palm:
“Why, Louie Gohmert?”
1I have written a check for $1,000,000 to the Gohmert campaign. But I can’t seem to find a stamp.
2This news almost makes me want to donate to the campaign fund. But I think I’ll let Louie raise money on his own. At least he will have to vacate the Congressional seat to run for AG.
3How about sending a check for 2 cents? It would be an insult, but he would not get your email address.
4Well, Karen, I just talked to a lawyer who said that he can run for both seats under the Lyndon Johnson rule. Yeah, sucks.
5So let’s see. If I take Louie’s statements from just the past year into account, while reading his righteous justification for becoming the new sheriff in Texastown, well hells bells it’s just clear as can be.
6Texans need somebody we can TRUST to get rid of this UnAmerican socialist nightmare called democracy.
And in other good news, it’s raining subpoenas in the House.
7Lawsy Lita, this is going to be way too much fun!
8Howard: that has been my source of cheap thrills since Ronald Raygun was President. I’d send a check for 1 cent, knowing that it would cost them far more than that to track it, keep it on their FEC report, and for all the begging letters that would be sent to me by virtue of getting on the mailing list. Plus those were my grad student days, and whatever address was on the check was invariably wrong, so the campaign also did not have my correct address.
There is another reason for doing this: somebody would be paid (min wage, not doubt) to open the letters, add them to the balance sheet, and take the paper to the bank. Plus the USPS got money since even at bulk rate, the campaign paid for and helped keep some postal workers employed.
Unfortunately starting around the era of SOB (Son of Bush), campaigns often just pitch the check. I’m willing to bet Lunatic Gohmert’s campaign won’t be that smart, however. Plus you can always preface letters or email to him with “as a major contributor to your campaign”.
9Also, the Texas Tribune pointed something out.
10100,000 people donatin 100 dollars adds up to 10,00,000 dollars.
Science and math.
No wonder they only want rich kids to get edjukated.
So who’d win the debate between the crook and the dummy? JJ, who’s your money on?
11Picturing a debate between those two reminds me of back in the 1960’s when I was a college professor teaching Evilution in Nacogdoches, and a local evangelist challenged me to a debate on evolution. I was about to take him up on it but my next-door neighbor gave me a piece of good advice: “When you debate a fool in public the public may not be able to determine who is the fool”.
12lol, ROFL, lol gasping … Obviously the competition for being the dumbest crazy in the House has driven Louie over the edge. Louie is probably in the safest of all Texas gerrymandered districts, if not in the entire country. In addition Louie will be giving up his Koch allowance, albeit he is the lowest paid fool Koch money ever bought. H/T to Alfredo for the actual numbers.
“Is George P. Bush chopped liver?” was that a rhetorical question or a TRAP to get us into trouble with Mama?
We may or not click onto those links when the time comes, Ms. JJ. But your ringside commentary will definitely be donation worthy if that “event” happens. Maybe you should start book now. We’re ready to bet/donate $100 on “ain’t never happening.”
13May God have mercy on Texas. It’s going to be (more of) a horror show if either of those creatures wins, and not much better if George P. takes the prize.
14Oh, goody! A choice between a crook and a crackpot. Sounds about right for Texas politics.
15George P needs to get a real job. Surely the Bushies can find him a cushy corporate gig where he has a big title, big office and not much to do other than be a Bush. How hard can that be?
Easttxdem @15, you answered your own question. The crime family that found gainful ’employment’ for Neil wants no part of George P. in their own criminal enterprise. Makes sense in languages in which “P” sounds like “F.” They want no part of the little pucker.
16Does anyone know where I can get the photoshopped image of Louie with a trashcan head? Or exploding head?
Thanks.
17Brian Eckert @17 the WMDBS has provided many examples of exactly what you want. We apologize what you want from their inventory of ‘toons. escapes our research skills. As a goodwill gesture, we hope this suffices:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fdirectory%2Fg%2Fgohmert.asp&psig=AOvVaw28Fjx0MdxEh1LIwPV0eI2i&ust=1636593790084000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAgQjRxqFwoTCIiFvZPRjPQCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAD
18Thanks Jane & PKM. You are most kind.
19OT but I think this is good news for all of us waiting for trumpf and his cronies to be held accountable for the Jan 6 insurrection:
‘Presidents are not kings’: Federal judge rules Jan. 6 committee can access Trump’s records – Raw Story
https://www.rawstory.com/trump-capitol-riot-records-2655528818/
20The really scary thing is Gohmert could actually win. If we look at the recent history in Texas it is getting crazier and crazier.
21What powers does the AG of Texas have over vote counts, certifications, and such things? Is this part of a long range plan for the count of the 2024 election?
22Un or one, one or un, hardly matters [for those familiar with binary numerals].
Best case, might give the Democratic AG candidate a bump if these two crooked cretins damage each other in the Rethug primary.
But the only way we’ll ever get Texas straightened out is if all the MAGAots are totally extirpated.
23First thing that hit my mind when I read this was the old fashioned Punch and Judy shows that used to pop up at carnivals. And its useless to figure out which is which.
24I tried to donate -$0.00, but the form wouldn’t let me. It’s hard to have fun with Republicans.
25Not so fast! Matt Krause the book banner/burner would also like to be attorney general. Better lay in an extra supply of popcorn.
https://bookriot.com/texas-book-ban-list/
26Louis K Newton: The Republican on-line donation mechanism (winred) takes a cut of 3.8% of any donation, plus a fixed price of $0.30 for each time. The Democratic version (actblue) takes a 3.95% processing fee. So unless your donation is at least 30 cents winred will reject it. I once asked them if they would accept live poultry instead (for Texans that’s a allusion to a famous house of ill-repute) but they never responded.
As I recall vaguely, the winred organization took a higher percentage and had a $0.35 per donation charge, but were shamed by publicity into cutting it down to look less mercenary than the Ds.
27Hey! Give Louie some support! After he gets whipped in the primary, it’ll be only a few more months until he’s out of political office altogether!
28I will be curious to see what happens to ANY Texas GQP politician if there is a repeat of the freeze and people dying of
29cold and/or bankrupted for their electric bills. Is the voting public in your state so poorly educated (read “stupid”) they will continue to elect folks to any office that produce laws that allow
that to happen again? Did your legislature do anything to avert
this repeat beyond “thoughts and prayers???”