Pete Olson is my congressvarmint.  He’s Phil Graham’s hat and coat carrier.  It’s an improvement over Tom DeLay because nobody, and I mean nobody, takes him seriously on Capitol Hill.  In fact, they giggle at him behind his back and say he’s “least likely to be a brain surgeon.”

In short, he’s dumb.  But, boy howdy!, he’s got the GOP Greed thing fine tuned.

Representative Pete Olson and 99 fellow House Republicans signed a letter yesterday urging the Obama administration to resolve a government lawsuit and let AT&T Inc. (T) buy T-Mobile USA Inc.

All but one of the 100 lawmakers has received political donations from AT&T employees since 2009, according to a Bloomberg review of campaign finance records. The letter signers took in $963,275, Art Brodsky, a spokesman for Washington-based advocacy group Public Knowledge, said in an e-mail.

But the one million dollars is just the beginning —

Tomorrow, Olson is to attend a Washington fundraising luncheon backed by AT&T lobbyists. Suggested contributions of $2,500, $1,000 or $500 go to the Olson for Congress Committee, according to an invitation e- mailed around Washington and obtained by Bloomberg.

J. Barry Hutchison, an AT&T assistant vice president who once worked for former Republican House Speaker Newt Gingrich, urged contacts to attend the Olson luncheon in an e-mail obtained by Bloomberg. “Pete has been a leader on the Energy and Commerce Committee and I hope you can help him by attending,” according to the e-mail.

In the real world where the rest of America lives, that’s call extortion.  In Pete’s world, it’s called “You mean I can buy a yacht with this money?”

The other day I bought my yearly lottery ticket.  Thelma asked me what I was going to buy with the $8 million jackpot.”

“I dunno,” I replied, “a newspaper or a congressman, I guess.”

I think congressmen have priced themselves out of the market.

Thanks to Weed-Pullin’ Bob for the heads-up.