Old Enough To Know Better, Too Young To … Oh No, Not Your Testicles
Giving the excuse that the customer called in a pizza order right at closing time, an 18 year old boy in Georgetown, Texas, got caught doing the unthinkable.
A Georgetown man is facing charges after a customer caught him rubbing his genitals on a pizza at a take and bake pizza store.
According to court records, Austin Michael Symonds is facing a charge of tampering with consumer product after the customer says he saw Symonds rubbing his scrotum on his family sized stuffed pizza with Canadian bacon, pineapple and extra cheese at the Papa Murphy’s on Williams Drive in Georgetown.
The customer told police he confronted Symonds, who apologized saying, “Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid.” The customer demanded to know Symonds’ age.
“Eighteen,” he replied.
“So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza,” the customer said. “Yes.” Symonds replied.
Yeah, that extra cheese and pineapple is really irresistible.
For the rest of his life, when people Google his name ….
(Keep the comments as clean as possible.)
He has clearly watched American Pie far too many times.
Let’s hear it for the customer who said,“So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza,” that is some serious parenting skills, not to mention quite a bit of self restraint!
Besides, (blushes) Canadian Baccon, sorry momma…….
1Holy cow.
2Don’t ever hire that kid for a job in a doughnut shop.
3“Sugar and spice makes everything nice,” UmptyDump?
4Oh, gag!!!
5At first I thought his balls were made of steel if he rubbed them over hot cheese right out of the oven, then I re-read the post and it was a take and bake pizza; oh well – too bad, it would have been “funnier” if the customer had to call an ambulance for burnt balls.
6Can I assume the customer didn’t take the pizza home?
7I wouldn’t hire that idiot for any reason! His critical thinking skills are non-existent, so much so that I predict that he won’t exist very long at all!
8Deb: I’m crying I’m laughing so hard.
Now to prevent this from happening again, neuter him!
9This is the reason why we only eat pizza from old mom & pop shops. No shenanigans, just good homemade pizza.
Good Grief.
10The guy’s nuts….
11From now on, it’s homemade pizza, homemade everything for that matter.
12Sorry … but that is simply hilarious and … nuts!! LOL
13I wonder if this jerk is related somehow to Michael Symonds, the chef on the Food Channel, and who is on The Chew and is often a guest on the Rachael Ray Show.
14Seriously,that must have been a frozen pizza because they are usually too dang hot to put in your mouth -the pizza, that is. OTOH high temps have been known to cause a reduction in sperm,so there’s that.
15Too late, everybody. The Papa Murphy’s in Georgetown has taken the September Special off the menu.
16Marcia in Co- Last name is spelled wrong. Symons is on the chew. Nice thought,though. Got me looking. 🙂
17Oh come on, that’s what cooking is for, to kill noxious pests.
(What’s a sterile pubic hair or 3?)
And here I was thinking ammosexuals held the apogee of woo woo….
18The donut shop comment made me laugh hard enough to cry this morning. What a way to start the day!
19Sorry, the donut shop image (which I tried to resist) reminded me of Camille West’s song “Viagra in the Water,” about what happens in a small town when a truckload of Viagra ends up in the water supply.
Old man Weissburg took the shower of his life,
Then he marched into the kitchen and called out to his wife.
She knew something was up as he stood naked at the table
Holding two cups of coffee and half a dozen bagels.
(It had been at least a decade since the last time he was able.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84-g3kuJ2cE
20Viagra doen’t work for everyone.
21Secret sauce?
22They should have forced him to eat the damn pizza!
23Remember that scene from Roots where Sandy Duncan tells (Cicely Tyson?) to get her a glass of water and the slave surreptitiously spits in the water? According to a friend who grew up in Georgia (30+ years ago) that kind of thing was common — you might get a “Honkey Burger” with special sauce at some of the places in his town.
24I can’t think of anything clean to write.
25Don, have you ever seen the movie, “The Help”? Calls to mind that unforgettable line, “How ’bout a nahce slahce of chocolate pah?”
26Wait! Wait!
Maybe this is just a new, pizza based variant on Tea Bagging!
27Dude, whatever you do, don’t change your name to Santorum.
28Ted Cruz has met his match.
29It was closing time. Time to hit the sack.
30He should have stuck with tradition and just spit o the thing.
31