I have an app that tell me where I am, and an app that tells me what to cook for dinner, and an app that send me a text message when there’s breaking news, and an app that tells me where all the sales are, and an app that lets me talk into my telephone machine and it automatically puts it in writing.

But what I really need is an app that tells me to hurry up and go turn on C-Span because Louie Gohmert is fixing to talk.

Don't touch that hand. You do not know where it's been.

Look, I’ve given up on the jet pack that they promised me back in the 50’s.  All I’m asking for is a Louie Gohmert app.  That’s not rocket science, or even jet pack science.

If we can have a moon base in 8 years, can’t we have a Louie Gohmert app right now?

Gohmert took to the House floor (and I misssssed it) yesterday to roll his eyes and lecture us about the Ninth Circuit’s ruling on Prop 8.

GOHMERT: Nature seemed to like the idea of an egg and a sperm coming together because of pro-creation. Apparently [the judges] thought the sperm had far better use some other way biologically, combining it with something else. But the voters of Iowa came back and said you know what, if you’re not smart enough to figure out actual plumbing…then perhaps we need new judges, and that’s what they did.

Louie, meet State Senator Constance Johnson in Oklahoma.  I do believe she has a bill for you.

Thanks to Mark in Austin for the heads-up.