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You will not be shocked to know that Juanita has a suggestion for a replacement for Justice John Paul Stevens.

“First of all, it has to be woman,” she begins.  “Don’t even start with that whole ‘oh, two women in a row’ crapola.  Nobody ever complains when we have two men in a row do anything.”

“Next, it has to be a liberal.  I’m not talking a nice moderate-type woman like Judge Sotomayor.  I’m talking a knee-jerk, bleeding-heart, Palin-slappin’ witch liberal.  I’m talking somebody who’ll say, “Okay, so you boys wanted a corporation to be a person?  That’s cool, Baby.  Now start pouring the cement because Massey Energy is going to jail for negligent  homicide.”

“Look, the Hatemongers are going to object to anyone who Obama appoints.  The way I see it, we might as well get our money’s worth,”  Juanita says with conviction and bright red lipstick.

“I want a liberal female who will make Rush Limbaugh’s head explode and then stand over him with a switch until he cleans up the mess,” she says.

“I want Hillary Clinton.”

“Hillary Clinton would be a great Supreme Court Justice.  Putting her on the court would give her 20 years of influence.  I trust her with our laws and with being able to influence other people.  Plus, it would drive the rightwing out of their nutty little pointy heads.  She’s meaner than ten acres of snakes and she don’t back down.”

“I want you to give this some thought,” she suggests.

And, if it can’t be Hillary, I want my dear friend, State Representative Senfronia Thompson to get it.  Not only is she one of the smartest woman I know, she’s also one of the funniest.  She’s a hurricane with two eyes.  You wanna know how much junk she would put up with from Clarence Thomas or Antonin Scalia?  Count the feathers on a hog, Baby.  Just count ‘um.”

“The way I see it, the line-up is like this   –

1. Hillary
2. Senfronia
3.  Some damn fool”

“Anybody with suggestions is welcome to pipe-up,” she offers.  “But anybody who suggests a moderate man better find a hole because I’m coming after you with intent to barbeque.”

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