Oh, Thank You, Missouri!
Republicans in Missouri have stumbled into the Land of Late Night Talk Radio.
It started innocently enough.
Melissa Wilson, the lovely bride of Republican state Rep. Kenneth Wilson, heard about a United Nations initiative called Agenda 21, which Republicans believe is a conspiracy to use a mind-control tactic called the Delphi technique to turn the United States of America into a socialist state where you are required to be nakkid on the back porch every Tuesday morning. Okay, so I made up the nakkid part but I had you going there, didn’t I?
Now I’m taking this straight from the Agenda 21 Scaresite.
Glenn Beck sounded the alarm last year, claiming that the term “sustainable development” is actually code for “centralized control over all of human life on planet Earth.” The ultra-conservative John Birch Society drafted a resolution for the upcoming Republican National Convention in opposition to Agenda 21, calling it “a comprehensive plan of extreme environmentalism, social engineering, and global political control.”
UN Agenda 21 – Coming to a Town near You!
The International Leftists are working to take away your rights, and your freedoms, as individuals through a policy known as Agenda 21. The politicians at the federal level, state level, and local level have just about all bought into this devious international plot to destroy American sovereignty.
Yeah, so nakkid on the back porch is pretty tame.
So Melissa got her husband Ken all frisky over this outrage (outrage passes for foreplay in Republican households) and she got Ken blubbering and sputtering over how the UN was a’comin’ to take his guns and it’s a pretty well-known fact that Republican men can’t even get frisky without their guns nearby to remind them what it looks like.
Anyway, I’m getting to the point here in a minute.
Since we know that crazzzy is contagious among Republicans, Ken got all his fellow state Republicans running around in a frenzy of outrage so they up and decided to stop issuing driver’s license.
Yeah, driver’s licenses.
I know you’re trying to make the connection between the United Nations and driver’s licenses. Don’t venture there alone because you might hurt your thinking mechanism. Let me guide you.
The 2005 federal Real ID Act requires states to retain a database of scanned documents for verifying identity. Missouri appeared to be the only state where the license bureau was charged with printing concealed carry permits, either on driver’s licenses or as a separate document.
But lawmakers have recently become increasingly concerned that gun records would be shared with federal officials to create a gun registry that could lead to confiscations.
So, if Glen Beck tells you that there’s a secret government ID on the sole of your foot, the solution is to shoot yourself in the head.
Now, I’d like to suggest some mind control of my own. If you live in Missouri, and God love ya if you do, go on over to the driver’s license bureau and find every 16 year old waiting in line on his birthday to get his long awaited driver’s license. Tell him that there will be no driver’s license today because Glen Beck is ordering Republicans to keep him off the street simply because some some Republican wife needs her husband to be frisky.
Now, right there, right then you have a Democrat for life.
Personally, I think this whole thing is a conspiracy to do away with driver’s licenses so that drunks and blind Republicans can drive in Missouri. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Thanks to Mike for the heads up.
Oh, JJ! Mike heard me laughing way on the other side of our house. “Reading Juanita Jean, again, I hear,” he said. Thanks for starting my day with delight!
1We must remember that Ted Cruz has used Agenda 21 as one of his main campaign items.
2Texas Monthly says he is using “stupid” to move the Republican Party back into contention.
East Texas floride made my teeth yellow. It’s made the current crop of East Texas politicians brains go weird.
May they all follow each other off the cliff of sanity…
“It wasn’t until the influence of rabid McCarthyist fascism swept the nation that all states came to require drivers’ licenses and establish competency tests. It was also under this influence that licenses first began to take on the role of documentation of identity, with states gradually adding increasing amounts of identity information and photographs. By the time Reagan left office in 1988, most if not all states had shifted drivers’ licenses to the role of identity documentation, and had added photographs to them. In most cases, states issuing such licenses had not yet begun attempt to arrogate the identity rights of individuals, and identity recorded on such licenses was as it was stated by the individuals.”
http://idhistory.ncidpolicy.org/hist_identity_dl.html
3Sounds like something has caused Republicans to exhibit early on-set dementia. Maybe it’s all the chemicals their “free” unregulated businesses are spewing, or maybe it’s genetic, but they are prime examples of unsustainable development.
4I had a brother who refused for a while to get vehicles inspected because the sticker said it was the property of the State of Texas, and he was pretty sure that if he affixed the sticker to his vehicle, it, too, would become property of the state.
So you can see how, if my brother ever made it to the polls to vote, people like this might get elected…
I just didn’t realize the south was so full o f people like my brother…and I’ve lived in Texas all my life…
5Google “Texas Tea Party” and “Agenda 21” and you will find that they are hosting these presentations all over the state. Debra Medina appears in one from San Marcos, where she announces to the crowd (was there a crowd? Hmm…) that environmentalism is EVIL. Yeah, folks, evil. I think maybe she missed the part about stewardship of the Earth in her Bible. Oh, wait, that’s not all she missed…
6Wait… I’m not supposed to go out on Tuesday mornings and stand on the back porch nakkid?
This explains why TX seems to treat the vaunted concealed carry permit as a better ID card than a driver’s license.
7I think there’s an Agenda 21 subsection 4.20 where it states that the UN will use voter registration records to identify Republicans, sweep their houses & storage facilities to confiscate guns, ammo, & survival gear; then all Republicans will be relocated to a deserted island far away from the U.S.
8Oh I forgot: they’ll also take away all the gold they’ve hoarded.
9And you folks thought Todd Aiken was an aberration. Todd is making a comeback by the way, then again in an area that has seen repeat broadcasts decrying our Democratic Gov’s doing what the law requires (record keeping), this should not be a shocker.
So, no thanks are necessary, our State Legislature is working hard to provide the world with a source of amusement.
10Yeesshh… seems every other state has a few of these cockroaches running amuck… and they are very, very sneaky… just like cockroaches! A bunch of them voted 3 state supreme court justices off the bench in Iowa before the rest of the voters, who traditionally vote for the justices up for re-election on grounds they get vetted thoroughly enough by the state’s lawyers and other judges.
I’d like to see the DNC use their ads against them, sort of in a ‘swift boat’ fashion of ‘turn about is fair play.’
11Since I’ve never lived in Texas, I had to look up Debra Medina & found the Dallas News provided 50 things you need to know about her. Enjoy!
http://www.dallasnews.com/news/politics/state-politics/20100219-50-things-you-need-to-know-42.ece
And, btw… don’t underestimate these cockroaches, they’ve existed with humans for a very long time & probably will inherit the earth.
12glf: Do you think I could get someone from the U.N. to sweep my house?
13They won’t find any guns or gold, but there sure is a lot of dog hair.
Does this mean I have to get a back porch?
14“Missouri appeared to be the only state where the license bureau was charged with printing concealed carry permits, either on driver’s licenses or as a separate document.”
Nope, Texas does, too. Yes, indeedy, your Texas Department of Public Safety, Regulatory Services Division, is in charge of concealed handgun licenses (CHL). They also license locksmiths, private security, metals recycling, commercial vehicle inspection, controlled substances (like registering your doctor to write those prescriptions for controlled substances, pharmacies to fill them, hospitals, etc.), ignition interlock, and the Capitol Access Pass.
Every so often a bill comes through the Legislature advocating putting CHL on the DL. We’re against it for financial reasons because the expiration dates won’t be the same. If the CHL expires but the DL doesn’t (or vice versa), that creates problems that are avoided with two docs.
Have these people actually READ Agenda 21? I have. They’ve got nothing to worry about. Which fear monger got to them, you think?
15HILARIOUS, every single one of you Beauty Shop Addicts~
Maryelle,
That is exactly what I need sweeping in my house- no guns, but tons of dog hair~
16Read the link about Medina…yep…the DNC needs to get after her and nip her in the budtt. She obviously likes the spotlight as much as Palin. She’s trouble!
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