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In case you haven’t heard, the State Board of Education in Texas has made a determination to keep Texas youngsters oddly and unamusingly out of step with reality.  Which would make them match the State Board of Education.

Newsweek, has a pretty good run down of what they did right here, but amid all the insanity of making Joe McCarthy a hero, and abolishing the mention of slavery, comes Juanita’s pet peeve – Thomas Kincade.

“For folks who haven’t visited the trailer park lately, Thomas Kincade is a painter.  Not an artist; a painter.  He paints “light.”  Apparently to match his talent.  He’s a half click above painting Elvis on velvet, but only because he uses canvas instead of velvet,” Juanita explains.

Our new stateBoard of Education wants —

McLeroy instead wants students to “contrast the tone” of such people “versus the optimism of immigrants including Jean Pierre Godet as told in Thomas Kinkade’s The Spirit of America.” Kinkade is the schlocky, sentimental painter popular in malls everywhere.

Juanita sums up her position, “Thomas Kincade paints what heaven would look like if it was in Italy decorated by people with really bad taste, while drunk, with shovels and an astigmatism, while there was a clearance on yellow umber paint.”

“People who have never been to art museum just love Thomas Kincade,” she admits.  “Introducing it to innocent little children is borderline child abuse.  Making them write about it insures that the only college they can get in is Jerry Falwall University, which, of course, seems to be the whole point of the new textbooks.”

“Let it now be known that the State Board of Education has all their taste in their mouth,” Juanita says.  “Along with all all their brains being proudly held in trust at a mail order diploma mill in California.”