Oh Lord, He Thinks He’s the Love Child of Marlon Brando and John F. Kennedy

March 08, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ted Cruz wrote a book.

politifact-photos-cruzcover0315

 

Okay, first of all, the title is kinda weird for a guy who has one of the worst scores on Politifacts’ Truth-O-Meter.  But then again, Tom DeLay named his book “No Retreat, No Surrender” when retreating and surrendering was all he did.  You gotta watch Republicans about stuff like that.  They signal what they aren’t.

Second of all, who’s idea was it to put Ted Cruz in a leather jacket like some hunka hunka burning love?  For pete’s sake, the poor guy’s ears aren’t level and his “slight grin” looks like he’s fixing to spear a possum or some damn thing.

Lastly of all, he couldn’t come up with his own idea so he’s rewriting John Kennedy’s “Profiles in Courage” from the standpoint that greed is good?  Where is Lloyd Bentsen now that we really need him?  “Sir, I knew John Kennedy.  John Kennedy was a friend of mine.  You are no John Kennedy.”

The book is out in June.  Whoopy!

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0 Comments to “Oh Lord, He Thinks He’s the Love Child of Marlon Brando and John F. Kennedy”


  1. Bunny humphrey says:

    All around one of your best posts! So funny, from the title on. More history and truth in 3 paragraphs than anyone will read in Cruz’s book.

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  2. Don A in Pennsyltucky says:

    They say you can’t judge a book by its cover but in this case the cover is so scary that I couldn’t dare to open it.

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  3. He can’t be the love child of Brando and Kennedy. Neither of those guys was Canadian.

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  4. Ralph Wiggam says:

    That picture makes me think about what the oracle told Julius Caesar:

    “Beware of lean and hungry men.”

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  5. the Koch bros. will buy the entire first printing, and the nyt’s will announce it as another conservative authored “best seller”. watch and see.

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  6. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Everything we ever needed to know about Ted Cruz stated by Juanita Jean in a few sentences. Since she knows we won’t be buying the book, it’s not an omission that she didn’t suggest an appropriate crayon colour for Pendeo’s latest ramblings.

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  7. Corinne Sabo says:

    Is it a coloring book? If not, what good is it?

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  8. Figure his book will be titled “Profiles of Stupidity and Corruption: Modern Republicans”.

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  9. UmptyDump says:

    Sue his obstetrician, who was pretty mean with the forceps.

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  10. I got goose bumps when I saw Ted on the cover. It was like a goose bumped me and I fell into a vat of nasty and slimy.

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  11. e platypus onion says:

    In the “spear it” of the moment,JJ you done it again with Humour to delight the devil. The one lesson I took from the movie Braveheart is some Scotchmen have longer spears than others. Cruz looks like a Scotch man? Whatever could a backwards Southern wingnut with an itchy spear do with an animal he didn’t intend to eat? I blush to guess.

    Mayhaps his leather jacket is tanned,speared possum hide.

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  12. The book comes out in June and will be given away all summer to anyone dumb enough to listen to his father’s godbothering. In the remainder bin for the rest of the country.

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  13. “A Time For Truth”– as opposed to all the time up until now. Cruz wouldn’t know truth if he fell in a barrel of it. I wish he’d slime off somewhere so I wouldn’t have to look at his oily smirk again.

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  14. Hmmm. That jacket looks more like face suede to me. Kinda fits, doesn’t it.

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  15. Have you ever gone to one of “those” car lots? A guy dressed like Herb Tarlek comes out of the office/shack and while shaking your hand deposits there a film of slime such that you immediately want to wipe your palm on the leg of your trousers?? The junior United States Senator from Texas.

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  16. Rubymay says:

    Oh, Rhea, you’ve done it again! Ditto, ditto, and ditto!

    Anybody want to place a bet on how long it will be before copies are available on Amazon for one cent, ala Palin? It might sell better without that hideous picture on the cover. Nightmarish!

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  17. Ted Cruz usually has a look on his face that to me says he either has to go to the bathroom, or he really really really cannot stand whoever he is talking to.

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  18. e platypus onion says:

    Rick Perry’s book has a front cover,a back cover and nothing in between. To beat Perry, Cruz needs one more cover.

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  19. Marcia in CO says:

    Amen, Rhea … Amen!!

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  20. Marge Wood says:

    Grin. I was just going to say, looks like he raided Perry’s closet.

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  21. Marge Wood says:

    Dang, now all I can do is look at his unbalanced ears.

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  22. elise von holten says:

    He will buy a bunch of copies and that will place it on the “best seller” list, then will give them away for a 10 buck donation to his campaign,
    Using his campaign money to buy them the first place, It’s a win. Regular folks, ” Oh look, there must be something to this Cruz guy, his book is on the bestselling list.” So they are conned into buying because they think others are buying them. Sigh.
    I wish it were over already. There is so much that needs doing and we get circus acts. Maybe the president should declare himself dictator for life, suspend all elections and do everything by executive order…lol!
    I can hear the squawking…but, but, but.
    Give the terrified GOP old far base heart attacks and they can sputter, “We told you so!! Bengahzi!!”on their way out…their greatest fears coming home to roost (and we could FORCE white girls to marry black men—nooo!!!)
    Ted (Dominionist) Cruz is a nightmare. He and Sarah would be a dream ticket for imbicles (no spell check, sorry and no offensive to the mentally challenged intended) A Repug friend, educated, wealthy, thought Sarah Palin was the cats meow…I can’t figure out HOW he could think that, since her inflatible cup size and IQ being interchangeable and are basically flat .
    I just can’t see any value in any of them.
    Sigh.

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  23. maryelle says:

    The Slime Force is strong in this one. Readers Beware! If anyone dares to open the book, all the crap falls out so be sure to wear your swamp boots.

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  24. Ya gotta give credit to anybody that can take 3 words (cut taxes & regulations) and come up with 300 pages!

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  25. AlanInAustin says:

    Notably it’s “A” Time for Truth.

    Wouldn’t want to make that any kind of continuing practice.

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  26. eyesoars says:

    Are we sure that isn’t a typo? Shouldn’t it be “No Time For Truth”?

    That would seem to cover pretty much the whole GOP today.

    As might “Profiles In Corruption”.

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  27. He looks like a serial killer.
    Or satan.

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  28. Sandridge says:

    So Calgary Cruz had a book ghostwritten for him, did W do the pikchures…errr…illustrations for him?

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