February 26, 2021 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized
Welcome to The World's Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc.
My name is Susan DuQuesnay Bankston. I live in Richmond, Texas, in the heart of Tom DeLay's old district. It's nuttier than squirrel poop here.
I am honored and privileged to know Miss Juanita Jean Herownself, hairdresser extraordinary and political maven. Since she does not have time to fiddle with this internet stuff, I type her website for her and you can read it if you want to. If you don't, she truly does not give a big bear's butt.
A lot of what I post here has to do with local politics, but you probably have the same folks in your local government.
This ain't a blog. Blogs are way too trendy for me. This is a professional political organization.
Civil War statues, part II.
1Golden Hind.
2Looks like they combined Ronald McDonald and the Big Boy into one butt ugly statue.
Do any of these hyperchristian fascists @$$es understand what happens when you worship the golden calf?
3Where’s your god now McConnell… M’yah!
4Good likeness. Probably (no, I’m sure) he’s smarter than his look alike and more qualified.
5That’s the classy one. At least they got close with the skin tone.
6, , , just in case anybody is overestimating the intelligence of your average CPAC member.
7I wonder if they left the backside of his shorts off and colored his buttocks gold so that the fans know where to kiss??
8Got hands wrong. Too large !!
9Two golden calves – one on each leg.
Funny how fundamentalists want the Bible taught in the schools – and insist on practicing idolatry themselves. They move from worshipping the flag to worshipping Fearful Leader, but never follow the philosophy of Jesus.
Sounds like the AntiChrist to me…
10The golden bull-calf, but who cares? Apparently the Evangelicals don’t read the Bible enough to even care.
11Those shorts looked better on Apollo Creed.
12WA Skeptic @8: yep, no doubt if a photo were taken of the back side of this idol they’d find a lot of lipstick and lip prints as close to his golden butt crack as possible.
13As I wrote elseweb, I wonder if the CPAC members, or even the artisan who made that statue, realize just how insulting it is? That’s a downright fugly representation of Trump, who is unattractive enough in the flesh.
14Gary Trudeau warned us, way back in 2011:
https://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/2011/05/19
15Richard says:
“Apparently the Evangelicals don’t read the Bible enough to even care.”
Many might assume The Golden Calf is just another steak restaurant, like Arby’s or Outback. “I’ll have your surf & turf special, the Golden Steak with some Leviticus Shellfish.”
16Golden calves are so Bronze Age, completely passé, so they went with a golden pig this time.
17Looks like it could be a Pinata.
18Colorful Sandals painted on the mutant Orange Peel (in keeping with the Biblical flavor of the Covid god of death):
500,000 souls the maskless WEPs and GOP coup crazies in pick ups sent to needless death and who still plan to blow up the capitol, signing up for later judgement to the (pearly gates and/or boiling lakes of blood) in Gehenna.
19I’m pretty sure it’s a put-on (flip-flops?) and they want to see how many trumpanzees take it seriously. So far, all of them. Some are posing for pictures with it, some are chanting “Trump is god.”
It’s like The Onion. You can’t tell it from real news anymore.
20He hasn’t had that much hair since the day he tried to sneak out wearing his mother’s wig.
I wonder if they will sell raffle tickets on it?
21Devil worship!
The Religious Right are sooo desperate for a savior, sooo desperate to be saved from the clutches of the evil Liberals, those evil Gays, and those godless un christian heathens that they will follow anyone who hates like they do. Ain’t that right Fox ‘Hate’ News, keep tellin em who their enemy’s are!!!
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/cafe/without-help-christian-nationalism-decades-making-might-not-been-insurrection
and…
https://www.rawstory.com/qanon-insurrection/
and….
https://www.rawstory.com/white-christian-nationalism/
22Perspective, my friends. There’s Mercy Schlapp, Matt Schlapp, DetesTed Crooze, all too many more, and then Fatsolini45 the Double Impeached to consider. That statue is svelte by comparison, albeit ugly. While ugly, it’s a good representation of the ugliness that erupts from the lying mouths of those QOP bastions. And, it may be a QOP plot. How can we mock them, when they do the job for us? Really. If we had snuck into CPAC with an effigy of Donnie, would it, could it have been as silly as the one they rolled through the foyer in full public view? Yeah. Take that, Great Britain! Your gasbag Donnie in a diaper balloon which while proportionately more accurate has some insider competition.
23CPAC- these Crazy People Are Creepy convention give josh hawley a standing ovation, probably ted cruzer, too. Where’s MTG?
24Buttermilk Sky, I think you’re right: It’s intentionally ugly as all get-out to represent the worst of His Orangeness. (Come on–Old Glory *shorts*? Uncle Sam at least wears long pants!)
But the faithful don’t even begin to get the joke.
25https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Idol+with+the+golden+head+coasters&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dm3R5O_zTXa4
26Where is his golden throne—the toilet?
27Rick @ 15: you’re close. In the midwest (and maybe even in some civilized parts of the US) there’s an all-you-can-stand-to-eat buffet called The Golden Coral. 25 years ago a student in my department would go there weekly and then write up a report in the style of a documentary about some primitive society. His report on the fight between two women was famous. Apparently the stockers put out a tray of brownies, and one woman grabbed the entire tray to take back to her table. Another thought this was selfish, so they got into sumo wrestler style combat.
I never went there. From my vital local info source (the barber shop), even his most lurid descriptions were accurate. In other words, it seemed like the place you’d find a lot of jacked-up pickup trucks with T**** flags and Qanon bumper stickers.
28Stormy Daniels said the Golden Calf is more of a steer.
29The Surly Professor says: @#28
Thanks, The Golden Coral sounds like quite the place! Better in reality than if I had let my imagination run wild.
30Just curious if the shoes have heels? Verisimilitude. Isn’t that what they are going for? I admit the statue is better looking than the real thing.
31Oh Good Lord. It’s a Golden Turd. (FIFY)
32Professor and Rick:
33Years ago I enjoyed the Golden Corral. And though I knew it was never gonna get any Michelin stars, I never saw the kinda free-for-all described above. Honestly, had anyone at the time asked me about Michelin stars I probably would’ve asked what the hell they had against Goodyear.
But to really enhance your culinary imagination, picture the epitome of dessert fare, accessible to anyone at least 3 feet tall.
The eternally circulating chocolate fountain.
lex, thanks for those links.
34Also, as appealing as never ending chocolate syrup may sound, I never tried it myself.
Oddly enough, there used to be a restaurant in Washington, DC called the Golden Calf. It was owned by the Kansas City stockyards and served fairly decent steaks. Took my lady there for dinner on Prom night. This was back in the 60’s, don’t know if it is still there.
35When I saw this at first I thought it was some kind of mockery of Trump being pushed through an airport or someplace…maybe on its way to a dumpster…kind of like at Madame Tussauds.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/madame-tussauds-threw-their-donald-trump-wax-figure-in-a-literal-dumpster/ar-BB1axWVK
36Slipstream the Gary Trudeau
37prediction is eerie
I see moscow which-ever-way-the-stinky-QOP-wind-is-blowin-flip-floppin mitch is now saying he’d support a person responsible for an insurrection on the capital for the 2024 presidential race. He liked the look of the gold statue at cpac.
38Sick
Saw two quote elsewhere about this.
One: I wondered it the evangelical’s Bible had a New Testament and now wonder if it has the Old Testament as well.
And Two, from a friend: That looks like Shoney’s Big Boy 2021.
39No, Juanita, it’s not a Golden Calf.
It’s a Golden Jackass.
40Flip flops? How do they get the 3″ lifts into flip flops?
41Charlton Heston drops the musket “out of his cold dead hands” and makes a surprise visit to this years’ CPAC convention.
Watch as he straightens out the conventioneers from their present state of confusion:
42https://youtu.be/Xm4G4JvNeCO
Charles P. Pierce over at Esquire posted a note about the Golden Ass, and also a link to a clip of a movie I have not seen since I was 6 years old:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPFzP2kyfnY
Man, those ancient Israelites really knew how to party. And I have to point out, none of the Big Ten forbid a wild party. Actually, it seemed unfair to expect the Israelites to follow those rules, since they had not yet been announced to anyone but Moses. [Just ignore Charleton Heston in his most smug role, and try not to remember him waving a rifle at a NRA-fest.]
43When my wife saw it she said it immediately looked like they took a statue of Bart Simpson on a skateboard and glued on LDN’s head.
“Don’t have a golden cow, man!”
44As was posted elsewhere.
45“And the morons bowed and prayed,
To the golden god they made.”
Moses? Pissed?
If he isn’t, God certainly should be.
46BruceJ @ 44: I seriously think your wife is right! Especially considering the shorts, the footware and the stance.
47The repugnantcan update of The Buddy Christ was a dismal failure, as it most assuredly gives us the Willies.
48Or
God definitely should be pissed. He gave Moses the Divine instructions for everyone to live by, without the need for clergy to godsplain, so no more divisiveness. Two tablets of guidelines, and one tablet explaining how the other two united all faiths in peace and harmony.
And then Moses was startled by the sight of the golden headed f*cknuggett, and
https://youtu.be/oZA2mBntrHk
It’s been a shitshow ever since.
The Guardian reports the statue was made in Mexico. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/feb/27/golden-trump-statue-mexico-cpac ““It was made in Mexico,” Zegan told Politico’s Playbook newsletter. Zegan, who lives in Mexico on a permanent resident visa, … “spent over six months crafting the 200lb fiberglass statue with the help of three men in Rosarito. He transported it to Tampa, Florida, where it was painted in chrome, then hauled it from there to CPAC.”
Though many here commented on the idolatrous nature of the statue, no one in my hasty reading has pointed out Trump is carrying a magic wand with a star atop it … so you’d think at least SOME of the Evangelicals would object to considering their icon is … a witch, or a wizard, or some other magic-using entity.
And for what it is worth … the statue came from Tommy Zegan Originals …https://tommyzegan.com/ … the description of the statue: “The sculpture must be handled with kid gloves as it is vulnerable to damage if not protected and handled carefully when moved.”
… you can order a “9 inch mini-Trump statue”
49Sorry … I clicked through all the links, and there is no longer a form to “pre-order your statue”
50