Florida is known for its quantity of retirees.  There’s one thing all retirees need and some of them need it more quickly than others.

A bathroom.

Not so, says Florida.  In Miami-Dade county, no voters will be allowed to use the restroom on election day even if the election is held in a building owned by the taxpayers.

Why, you ask?

Because it’s damn Florida.

A Feb. 14, 2014 email from Assistant County Attorney Shanika Graves states that “the [Elections] the Department’s policy is not to permit access to restrooms at polling sites on election days. Restrooms are open to voters during early voting because early voting is held at public facilities. However, public and private facilities are used as polling sites on election days. Private facilities are governed by private landlords, not the County. This policy was implemented to avoid situations where accessible restrooms would be available to some, but not all voters.”

I quoted that because I knew you would not believe me.

In my semi-rural county one of our election sites is Carlos’ Upholstery Shop.  I’m not making that up.  You can drop off your couch cushions and vote at the same time.  Carlos is a nice guy but I am certain that he’d rather a voter use his restroom than tinkle on his floor.  I’d call him and check on that policy but I’m afraid he’d think I’d finally dived head first into the shallow end.