Oh, Be Still My Heart
Ted “Carnival” Cruz (adrift, lost, and full of crap) fancies himself the President of these here United Damn States of America, partner, and if you got a problem with that then you’re a damn communist.
He’s been in Washington only three months, but U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas is already planning a pilgrimage to a critical presidential primary state. The outspoken Cruz, a conservative attorney who has sprinted headlong into the Washington media spotlight since his election last November, will be the keynote speaker at the South Carolina Republican Party’s Silver Elephant Dinner, CNN has learned.
So he’s going to South Carolina to test the waters. That is so damn exciting that I have to put rocks in my shoes to keep from flying.
He doesn’t have to run. He just has to act like he’s running. Can you even imagine a hair pulling match between Cruz and Rick Perry over who gets to be the next President from Texas?
I’m trying to get the popcorn concession! Cruz makes Michele Bachmann look level headed.
This is the most promising development since Rand Paul got a hairpiece and tested the waters himself.
Pardon me, but Cruz, not being a natural-born citizen, cannot be President. Same as my younger brother born in a civilian German hospital. Just sayin’.
1It will be a beautiful day when this buffoon goes too far even for our crayon-eating media.
When they realize just big big an incompetent gibbering lunatic they have been stupidly taking Seriously, they will need to work just as hard to take him down as they did to build him up.
I don’t think he has any idea how easily our media can move from Squirrel?! mode to jackal mode.
2Ted is so cute. I wish he were my father. I’d get two doctors
3to write him up as incapable of sane behavior and a menace to decent society and not visit him “in the country” on weekends.
Oh, my goodness! If Crud (What an unfortunate typo! I meant Cruz, of course.) isn’t around, whom will Cornyn follow? At least if Cruz is gallivanting around the country running for the presidential nomination, he won’t be lecturing other Senators in committee meetings and making a fool of himself before the entire world. Now I’m going to go lap up a saucer of milk.
4Publius, you know the response will be, “but you didn’t complain when Obama was elected”.
5Yes, Ted can run, because of his mama.
6Sad thing is; all of our birthers will come out of the woodwork and keep his sorry a– in the spotlite.
South Carolina Republicans! Don’t miss the spectacle! The junior senator from Texas is coming to your state to take part in your modern-day production of Götterdämmerung – in which he will pour gasoline on your Wagnerian funeral pyre!
We hear that it’s still unsettled who will play the role of Brünnhilde, the inflamed diva. Apparently Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann are elbowing each other for the female lead.
7“. . . most promising development since Rand Paul got a hairpiece”
That’s a huge misconception about the junior senator from Kentucky. Rand Paul does not wear a hairpiece. It’s his real hair, by Bosley.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCTxLBOMOSU
8South Carolina Cocktail recipe:
91) Invite politician with Hispanic last name, from an area that borders on the Rio Grande River.
2) Mix in group of aging, wealthy, white guests who insist the Confederate flag continue to fly over the State House grounds. Also passed a law that says another law must be passed in order to remove said flag. Cohorts known for their unusual interest in the backs of Hispanic farm workers.
3) Add alcohol, any kind of alcohol will do. Shake, stir, whatever.
4) Ready, set, go! Let the racists begin!
Rick: Love your coctail recipe. I would but add a soupcon of horse….
10radish.
Oh Lordy, let him run. Puh-LEEEEZE let hm run! Let me go to my grave knowing that JJ’s brilliant “Carnival” Cruz (adrift, lost, and full of crap) went viral and permanently, irremovably attached itself to this fool. Please, please, please, ohhhhh pleee-ee-eee-eeease….!
11Kay: Rest assured that Jon Stewart is saying that same prayer.
12Ponder that puss in the gallery of presidental portraits …
I can’t even … EVEN begin to imagine such an atrocity!!
13I don’t know if Cruz wears a hairpiece, but there is now solid proof that Donald Trump does not: http://news.yahoo.com/5-strange-sightings-peruvian-amazon-191120448.html
It’s alive! It’s alive!
14Would you please, pretty please, not use his picture any more?
15I can not stand that smug look on his face.
Can you imagine the GOP primary debates with Cruz, Rubio, Rand Paul and Santorum? Jeb Bush would be well advised not to participate in any debates with these characters.
I have my fingers crossed that Hillary Clinton will run because if she runs she will be the Democratic Nominee. Hillary would have fun with these idiots.
16Ringer for Joe McCarthy too!
17Guess he doesn’t know South Carolina’s history.
18@LynnN, thanks for the link. I loved the comment, “Don’t bring Trump into this, or there’ll be hell toupee.”
19.
Carnival Cruz will be looking for a toupee soon; his hair looks very thin. I think when god made Cruz she couldn’t decide whether she was making a big head or a penis.