Ted “Carnival” Cruz (adrift, lost, and full of crap) fancies himself the President of these here United Damn States of America, partner, and if you got a problem with that then you’re a damn communist.

He’s been in Washington only three months, but U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas is already planning a pilgrimage to a critical presidential primary state. The outspoken Cruz, a conservative attorney who has sprinted headlong into the Washington media spotlight since his election last November, will be the keynote speaker at the South Carolina Republican Party’s Silver Elephant Dinner, CNN has learned.

So he’s going to South Carolina to test the waters.  That is so damn exciting that I have to put rocks in my shoes to keep from flying.

He doesn’t have to run.  He just has to act like he’s running.  Can you even imagine a hair pulling match between Cruz and Rick Perry over who gets to be the next President from Texas?

I’m trying to get the popcorn concession!  Cruz makes Michele Bachmann look level headed.

This is the most promising development since Rand Paul got a hairpiece and tested the waters himself.