Oh Aladamnbama, I Love You So
There’s a sheriff in Morgan County, Alabama, America, by the name of Ana Franklin. She is a law and order, family values, Christian Republican.
Among other things, Ana stands accused of … let me take a deep breath here … stealing money from the fund meant to feed inmates, investing that money in a shady used car company run by a convicted felon who also employs her father and her daughter, bribing a 19 year old citizen to put a tracer on his grandmother’s computer, starving inmates and feeding them uncooked beans, firing a jail warden for leaking information to a local blogger who was writing about the sheriff’s wrongdoings, deliberately lying a court to issue a search warrant on the blogger’s computer, raised money for a charity through a sheriff’s rodeo and then lied about the charity part, and, seriously? uncooked beans? How the hell do you eat uncooked beans.
After asking for prayers and claiming innocence, Ana has announced that she will not beseeching re-election. However, she has every intention of serving out her term. And her second term will be served out in a jail with uncooked beans.
Thanks to Sarah for the heads up.
uncooked beans + crow -> humble pie. Her old Aladamnbama family recipe
1I have absolutely no use for law enforcement. What good are they? Well I guess they do a good job of scaring the crap out of blacks who don’t wave friendly gestures at white people, and they are OK at shooting blacks that are not really doing anything, and they are really good at not pursuing charges against white well off dudes.
2Protecting people??? How can they ever protect anyone??
Oh! Like this example there are a lot more examples of them being bigger crooks then the ones in their jails!
Y’all know eating uncooked beans can kill, right? Kidney beans contain phytohemagglutnin, neutralized by cooking. Eating them raw can kill.
3But she is just so darned cute. Gotta great smile. Those two traits, combined with the ability to lie convincingly could get her elected on a Republican ticket in Just About Anyplace, Texas.
4The whole state has an immoral system of feeding jail inmates. Sheriff’s get to keep any unused funds in the account, but they also have to make up any shortfalls out of their own pocket. One sheriff bought an expensive beach house using these funds. I would take uncooked back over what those folks had to eat.
5She heard about her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the Sermon on the Mount, how with a few loaves and fishes He feed a multitude. Ana Franklin thought, “I can do that! In reverse! And pocket the profits for myself!”
6She’s got that Sarah Palin look. And about that much brains.
7If I believed for the slightest instant that this woman was gonna fry for eternity, I would convert.
8Nothing new here! Been going on in AL since day 2, The lady beat the old sheriff by promising to use LESS of the food money for her own uses
9Hey, this is damn interesting! Fortunately my family in Alabama does not live in her county. That alone saves me from sweating over this crook! With all those felonies on paper, just how is her trial proceeding? The things that come out in the courtroom should be absolutely amazing!
10Since he seems chronically short of case, Roy Moore should join her legal team.
11Yup, do unto others…
Feed her her own diet plan.
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