Now Here’s a Retirement Plan
Ted Cruz has discovered a new retirement plan.
You know there’s a law that candidates cannot spend campaign donations to benefit themselves. There’s about 174 ways around that law that I can come up with before sundown.
But, in all honesty, this is the first time I’ve seen this one.
Here’s how it works.
- Write a book or get someone to ghost write one for you.
- Get a donor to donate copies of your book through your SuperPAC
- You get to keep the royalties, which you couldn’t do if they were bought with your campaign account.
And that’s exactly what happened here. $15,000 to buy Cruz’s book as gifts. Since Cruz’s book is selling for $17.62 on Amazon, that’s about 850 books.
And the guy who bought them? Dr. Ben Carson’s former lawyer and campaign manager, Terry Giles. Giles was also Ken Lay’s lawyer during Enron.
Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.
When Ted Cruz talks about “re-igniting the promise of America”, does he mean burning it up? And isn’t putting “Ted Cruz” and “truth” in the same sentence an oxymoron?
1Couldn’t even think of a use for a Loathsome Ted piñata without scaring the children. But a book by Teddie? Not even as a gag gift. Unless of course the purpose was 3. to retch or cause to retch.
2Sarah “Caribou Barbie” Palin has been working that angle for years. Leave it to Ted “Carnival” Cruz to pick up on the grift.
Just saying….
3You would have to pay me at least $1762 (that has no decimal point) to accept a book with that face on the cover. Unless I had swallowed poison and, like PKM, I were in dire need of an emetic.
The guy who bought a load (if you’ll pardon the expression) of those books also worked for Ben Carson and Ken Lay? He must be able to do a triple axel while skating on smarm.
4Actually, it’s quite easy to write a sentence that includes “Ted Cruz” and “truth”. For example, “Anyone expecting to hear the truth coming out of Ted Cruz’s mouth is doomed to disappointment.” or “The truth is, Ted Cruz is a lying piece of [insert your own favorite descriptor here].”
5Poor little Rafael does have a problem. As little Hillary has also hers.
https://vimeo.com/163178551
Try this everything is true. I did and the 27 minutes were true.Why would you want to expose yourself to what happen in the 90’s. Spend the time to listen to this video. She is so rigth and really is a real New person.
6The Problems with most politicians is that they are able to do that you and me would be in jail for. But we re-elect them even when they lied to us.
lets stop this and elect people who care.
Texas politicians have long practiced a variation on the “buy my book” work-around vis a vis the law on political donations. Instead of books, they buy cattle. Mr. Smarmy politico gets him self a small spread somewhere, either by purchase or lease. Then he gets into the pure-bred beef cattle scam-a-rama. He buys a pure bred bull, or an interest in one, or some of the bull’s precious bodily fluids, and arranges to inseminate some heifers. He then sells the offspring at exorbitant prices to his “friends.” Its been done for the past hundred years or so, and there ain’t been any prosecutions that I know of.
7@#7: As a matter of fact, that’s how Ronnie got religion and turned Republican. Someone turned him onto that scam and he saw how he could make LOTS of money and make Nancy happy, and the rest is history.
8not stupid–The number of “people who care” and are running for office is small. But the choice between crusTED and Hillary is easy; one of them is all for bringing shariah law to America, and one has actually done good things for her country–and for women around the world. We may not have “good” choices, but we have some bad ones that need to be kept from making our lives worse.
9Thank you, Rhea – I was completely bumfuzzled by all the conflicting relationships until you laid it out so neatly…..
WA – actually, the Big Money guys came to Ronnie and asked him to run for Guv as their Front Man. Nancy said, ‘yes, as long as you make sure we’re taken care of in the future’ (as in, it doesn’t screw up our cushy retirement)…and boy howdy, did they take care of their future. Of course, the REST of us got screwed, but that’s what you get when a gullible electorate elects a B-list actor to do an A-list statesperson’s job.
10How about posting a picture of “Alfredo from the Dairy. Queen”? He’s rapidly becoming a hero of mine!
11That’s a heckuvalot of money for kindling.
12WA Skeptic, I never could understand why the bleep Ronnie ever bought such useless, desolate real estate. Thank you! Now I know! I also heard that is was a bunch of CA rethugs who talked him into this and as a result, he was overly deeply grateful and sold them his soul.
13If this is successful, let’s hope candidates also release CDs so they can grift them through their SuperPACs. We could have had these musical gems:
Chris Christie Sings The Boss!
14Ted Cruz: Favorite Lounge Lizard Classics
Donald Trump: Live! Live!! Live!!!
Ben Carson: The Love Doctor Is In, Baby
Not much of a retirement plan, if you ask me. There’s not much of a royalty in 840 books. He’s got to grift a lot better than that if he wants to retire anytime soon. Heidi has a much better parachute than that.
15First, may I say on behalf of my Bubba and myself (and I suspect all the members of the WMDBS) we luv you Alfredo, you are better than a DQ Blizzard on a hot sunny day!
Ted and Heidi are certainly working it, I wonder if their buddies at Goldman Sax are taking notes? My guess as to the next Cruzin’ step: create a Canadian charitable foundation. No limits; no disclosure. Perfect!
16$17.62? are you sure that decimal point is in the right place? I think it should be $.1762, and you can keep the change from that quarter.
17When John DeLorean met Canadian/Cuban Raphael…
John DeLorean: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.
Canadian/Cuban Raphael: Yes, sir.
DeLorean: Are you listening?
Canadian/Cuban Raphael: Yes, I am.
DeLorean: Cocaine.
With all due apologies to The Graduate…
18Sounds as though someone wanted a lifetime supply of toilet paper in a convenient hard-bound format.
19Wait… Isn’t that how they took down Jim Wright?
20TrusTED is not at all the first. Good ol’ Scary PayMe has had her PAC buying up copies of her (badly) (ghost-written) books right back to Goin’ Roguish.
21Alacrity Fitzhughe – the name Alacrity Fitsyou, as you beat me to it. It seems that Snowgrifter took all the old money-making schemes, dusted them off, and polished them all up for her 21st-century medicine show. Retread scams are now all the rage amongst the GOPTea.
Rick – STILL laughing over your albums. “Line! Live!! Live!!!” – comedic gold that stuff! I just mean – brilliant!
“My cover of Takin’ Care of Business will hit the number one spot on ALL the charts, including country and hip hop. It will be the most aMAZING cover of any song, anywhere, EVAH!”
I get up every morning from my valet’s warning
Take my Trump election plane to the next city
I really really love when people push and people shove
And I give rides to girls who look pretty
I never start on time even my hair still sleeps to nine
My people are all slavin’ for small pay
If they ever get annoyed they can be unemployed
I love to say “You’re Fired!” all day
Cuz I been takin’ care of business. every day
Takin’ care of business, every way
Takin’ care of business, it’s ALL mine, (it really really is)
Takin’ care of business and it’s a vulgar life of crime.
Ted Cruz: Donald likes to say he’s taking care of business, but I take care of business like nobody’s business, where it really counts. I may not be Donald rich; heck, I may not be Charlie Rich; but I’m loaded where it counts.
My baby makes me rich, Lord, don’t she make me rich
She never makes a scene like my daughter does at my rallies.
Cuz people don’t buy books, Lord, how they hate my books
But when they turn out the lights, Heidi still has a Goldman Sachs pension
Cuz when we get behind Ted’s drawers,
And she makes my assets grow
And I make her glad that I’m her man
Oh no one knows what goes on behind Ted’s drawers
But let me tell ya!
22Of his many great insights and one liners, Primo scored one of his best in April: ” – and Big Dog eating his own shoe leather is NOT a catastrophe, it’s chronic and built in – ”
How true that is and Samantha Bee examines the 3 remaining nacilbupeR candidates proving why Primo was right.
**** following video not safe for Mama or work, but it will deliver the necessary eye and brain bleach to remove that Teddie Crooze image daChipster left above. Here we have Ksuchasheis goy ‘splaining, Donnie Drumpf displaying sons Uday and Qusay, and Teddie with 100 tins of soup.
http://crooksandliars.com/2016/04/samantha-bee-republicans-new-yorkers
23Ah, the creative juices are flowing in the salon today.
24Thanks, PKM, for the link to Samantha Bee. She has taken up where Jon Stewart left off. My favorite quote is when she describes Cruz as “…a self described human…”
And Rick’s “Favorite Lounge Lizard Songs” conjures up that photo of Oozy in his paisley smoking jacket attempting to sleaze his way through Barry White’s repertoire. Ooh, need brain bleach.
Additional kudos for Samantha Bee. Her new show is tough, clever, and truly funny. John Oliver is also doing the old Daily Show proud.
Sadly, the new Daily Show and Nightly Show are just so-so. They seem to be aiming for the adolescent male demographic and hitting it all too often.
25Teddie Crooze may be responsible for a new ballot in NY. Early returns have him coming in fifth; behind Drumpf, Ksuchasheis, write ins for Mickey Mouse and none of the above. After sending Teddie out on the FU train, NY is backing the train over him and hitting him repeaTEDly. Good job, NY!
26I’ll keep that in mind. But first I gotta get a PAC and run for office somewhere.
27I was elated to hear that a school in New York had to cancel a Crooze appearance ’cause the students all threatened to walk out. From the mouths of babes.
28I love Samantha B. She’s so smart and so funny.
They just projected Hillary as winner in New York. Good.
29This says everything about the guy that needs said…
https://youtu.be/v75wCTMZoSY
30The “New York Times Bestseller” tagline on the book cover says Cruz’s book has “sold” more than the 850 copies Terry Giles bought to donate to the PAC. Expect to dig up more “donors” of that sort. Although to stick that on the cover requires previous sales that got it on the list for a week (usually release week) and the NYT has become pickier about people trying to game their system. It can still be done (and politicians find it easier than ordinary writers) if you can mobilize a “buy crew” to buy a few at each of many-many-many bookstores across the country, indies and B&N and of course on Amazon. Political parties have members in every state, some of whom will cheerfully shell out for 2-3 copies of a Presidential hopeful’s (or his Presidential father’s*) new book.
The number you need to hit the top ten varies with the competition, but it’s easier in nonfiction (cough-cough–is any politician’s book really nonfiction?) usually. Any literary agent who handles non-fic knows what first-week figure will get the job done. Putting the tag on your book will itself create more sales. Royalties are trickier and buried in the contract itself. How much advance did Ted get for this job, and did he pay the ghostwriter or did the publisher supply one? Advances have to be repaid by sales before royalties flow out. And the royalties on 850 books donated to the PAC for resale, almost certainly under $2000. (Royalties on hardcovers run 10-12%, usually, though there may be escalating rates for sales over a certain, usually very high, number.)
31Oops…forgot to include the footnote that goes with that asterisk. Bush II got a boost to his campaign from Bush I, who put out a book just before his son announced he was running.
32