Not So Fast
You know how the world is supposed to end this December so what the hell?
In a striking find, archaeologists in Guatemala report the discovery of a small building whose walls display not only a stunningly preserved mural of a brightly adorned Mayan king, but also calendars that destroy any notion that the Mayans predicted the end of the world in 2012.
Phew! Won’t the wackos be disappointed that there won’t be something else to blame on President Obama?
However, now they’ll say, “Obama Destroys Entire Mayan Nation.” Or the Fox headline: “Would Free Markets Have Saved the Mayans?” Breaking from Rush Limbaugh: “Mayan Chicks Are Hot!” Mitt Romney: “I Have Changed My Position on the World Ending.”
Come on – you’ve got some ideas, too. You know you do.
Thanks to Elsie for the heads-up.
It was Obama’s prediction, not the Mayans. Obama lied about the Mayan calendar to impose same sex marriage and socialism. Did you know that Obama has a Mayan birth certificate?
1If Obama hadn’t tried to give the Mayans health care they wouldn’t have had to act like teabaggers and rage against their own self interests. So . . . It’s Obama’s fault the Mayan empire ended. And oh yeah–he’s educated so you know he’s bad too. Or something . . .
2Always with these crackpots trying to warn the pitiful Earthlings that “… the sky is falling, the sky is falling!” Of course, there are always going to be those who will not read the Bible, those who may “attempt” to read the Bible but their understanding is limited, and those that do read the Bible and understand it for the most part … No one knows the time and date that the world, as we know it, will end except God Hisownself … not even his beloved Son, Jesus Christ, my Lord & Savior, nor the Angels in Heaven!
The only other possibility I can think of that might end our world as we know it is if the Republican Party is allowed to put a toe into the Oval Office and sit someone’s anal retentive ass down in that gorgeous Corinthian leather chair that resides in the Oval Office … and I just don’t believe there is enough Black Flag Varmint Spray available that could exterminate the horrendous mistake from that office.
With all that is going on in this world right now … I do believe God Hisownself is the only one who can rectify the mess we have created!! Thank you and Amen!!
3If memory serves, I believe that Mitt Romney endorsed the extended Mayan Calendar since it predicted his planetary ascendancy in accordance with his Mormon beliefs. No word yet on whether holy underwear was involved…..
4Obama is Bolon Yokte, god of war and creation (though these days that seems more like the repub reputation). See we knew he wasn’t really a natural born American, he is a false god, the anti-christ meant to lead us all astray. It is his interference that actually disrupted the Rapture.
5There is an interesting read (or listen if you want just summary from Audiotech books) called The Rational Optimist. It speaks of the doomsayer phenomenon and why so many have actual logic flaws, especially in forecasting. For instance, running out of fossil fuel usually supposes “at our current consumption” and/or “our current methods.”. But the reality is that our behaviors and technology of today will change and it will effect the actual consumption and access to previously unavailable resources.
6Hopefully, no one will blame Obama for Dick Clark’s demise.
7Please join me in the singing of the foxology…
8So there is a Mayan calendar that predicts the world will end in 2012, and another Mayan calendar that extends beyond 2012. Have archaeologists determined which is the long form, or original calender? I’ve heard it might really be… a fake Aztec carving…
9Just in from FauxSnooze:
“Obama’s College Transcripts Released”
Obama spent his college years making faux Mayan hieroglyphs to lull the public into thinking the world won’t end if he is reelected in 2012. However, Dominionists who know he’s a Kenyan-Socialist-Commie-Pinko won’t be fooled. They are going to hold their nose and vote for Romnesia to get their own planet and virgins – lots of virgins.
That is all.
10The Mayans were really good calendar makers and they made calendars through the year we refer to as 2012. Then they stopped.
Many believe this means that the Mayans thought the world would end after 2012. I believe the Mayans decided, “Enough calendars, already. We’ve done our part. Let the younger Mayans take it from 2013.”
11About the Mayan calendar, I have always contended that they just ran out of rock.
It was bound to happen eventually.
12I think the Mayan calendar ends when the Astros win the World Series. The world is going to last at least another 10,000 years.
13Thanks, all y’all. JJ has a very creative bunch of readers. I’ll be laughing out loud all day long.
What a great way to start Mother’s Day.
14Oh my G@d, Obama prevented the Rapture and the return of our Lord and Savior and prevented the ascention of the wealthy into Heaven. What more proof do you need that he’s a Muslim with a radical Christian preacher?
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