No, No, No, No UPDATE! UPDATE! Read All About It!

June 21, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh please, Dear Lord, have mercy on my soul, but Donald Trump should go soak his head in a big ole vat of Deuteronomy.

Donald Trump questioned Hillary Clinton’s commitment to her Christian faith on Tuesday, saying that little is known about her spiritual life even though she’s been in the public eye for decades.

Speaking to a group of top social conservative evangelical Christian leaders at a gathering in New York City, Trump said, “we don’t know anything about Hillary in terms of religion.”

But, yes sireeeee, we know a whole lot about Donald Trump’s religion.  I wonder if he would be willing to give us the scriptural basis for encouraging violence at his speeches or combing his hair all stupid like that.

Maybe it’s in Two Corinthians ….

Trump’s pronunciation of the Bible verse drew laughter from the Christian audience — but he downplayed it, saying his Scottish mother would have said “two Corinthians,” as well.

“It’s a very small deal, but a lot of people in different sections of the world say two, and I’ve had many, many people say that to me. My mother, as you know, was from Scotland, and they say two,” Trump said.

No, that’s wrong.  Nobody has ever said Two Corinthians when they mean Second Corinthians.  Nobody.  Ever. Not even in Scotland or Australia.

Sweet Jesus.  Please throw the moneychangers out of the Temple.

UPDATE:  Trump found a whole herd of moneychangers!

According to a Trump press release, he has named an “Evangelical Advisory Board.”

Prepare yourself:

 

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There’s not one mainstream Christian name on there.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

Be social and share!

0 Comments to “No, No, No, No UPDATE! UPDATE! Read All About It!”


  1. LIke I’ve said before, thanks to El Donaldo we now have a joke that starts “Two Corinthians walk into a bar . . . ”

    And the students at Liberty University snickered!

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  2. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    While Donnie was busy attacking Hilz on the religious front, Twitter up and bit him.

    #TrumpSoPoor he had to return his hair piece to the wild.

    #TrumpSoPoor next time he’ll only be able to afford a participation trophy wife

    His stubby little vulgarian fingers will be mere nubs, if his nibs dares to respond.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2016/06/hashtag-trump-so-poor-takes-over-twitter

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  3. Thanks Maggie, that was inspirational. I was thinking more along the lines of “the name of Paul’s favorite craft brew when he rolled into Corinth”. You know, as recorded in Acts of the APOSTATES. I know, it doesn’t have the same kick.

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  4. Larry Cross says:

    Well I’m sure that El Quacko’s mom said “two” Corinthians, but that wasn’t because she was Scottish, it’s because she was the tree from which his brilliance fell.

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  5. Annabelle Lee says:

    I don’t know anything about Mrs. Clinton’s faith, and I do not NEED to know anything about Mrs. Clinton’s faith. As a public figure I can judge by… wait for it… her works, as Paul recommended.

    I think it was Paul. ‘S been ages since I set foot in a church.

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  6. JAKvirginia says:

    “… no religious test…”

    Oh for cryin’ out loud. What am I doing? At this point does anything Constitutional matter to Donnie and the snacilupeRs?

    BTW: Does anyone know who the god of money is? That’s who Donnie worships. I’m just sayin’.

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  7. maryelle says:

    There is no issue upon which Drumpf can throw stones at Hillary.
    His serial adultery and angry violence don’t make him a poster boy for religiousity, his many scams speak to his own crookedness, his playing fast and loose with the truth make him the Ultimate Liar, his denigration of smart, competent women cements him in The Misogynyst Hall of Fame and his inability to put together a coherent sentence ranks right up there with Yogi Berra. (apologies to Yogi)
    For him to cast the first stone in any of these areas is to invite an avalanche of humiliation.

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  8. Sandridge says:

    In other news, my guess is that Julian Castro will be Hillary’s VP choice.
    A poll from the rest of y’all below?

    .
    On the Veep shortlist, Elizabeth Warren’s just a bone to the progressive wing, and who the hell is Tim Kaine? (/snark).

    Trump’s now got an ad on craigslist for his…or is it one of those ‘escort/porn’ places?

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  9. JAKvirginia says:

    To badly paraphrase an old exchange:

    “I put it to you, sir, religion is the last refuge of a scoundrel.”

    “No, sir, I believe it is the first.”

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  10. I can’t speak to Clinton’s religious beliefs, but I do know she has only been married once.

    Re the quote (and it’s a great one), Ambrose Bierce spoke of patriotism, but it works just as well for religion:

    Patriotism, n. In Dr. Johnson’s famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
    — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

    More Bierce quotes about religion (he was a sceptic):
    http://www.positiveatheism.org/hist/quotes/bierce.htm

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  11. daChipster says:

    Any two Corinthians could tell you, that there is a Big Bunch of Nit-wits, Half-wits and Lack-wits. There’s enough hate on that list that they couldn’t be washed clean in the Blood of Ten Lambs.

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  12. WA Skeptic says:

    JAKvirginia: the god of money is Mammon, per the KJ.

    There sure seem to be more worshipers of Mammon nowadays.

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  13. Uncle Dave says:

    Fred Phelps would probably have been included, but his change of address from the Westboro Baptist Church, Topeka, Kansas to Hell made him unavailable to the Trump campaign. But perhaps they can meet, later.

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  14. JAKvirginia says:

    Thank you LynnN and WA Skeptic! It’s nice to hang out with smart people. This Salon is the best.

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  15. bud maone says:

    Mathew 7-15 as well as the word of Bud. Trump – shove it.

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  16. W. C. (Pete) Peterson says:

    Kenneth Copeland and Jerry Falwell, Jr. And Michele Bachmann. That truly will be a Board of Grifters. Bigly.

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  17. He forgot the Westboro Baptist Church.

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  18. They had an election in New Zealand a few years ago and both candidates were agnostics. I think they were both women too, or at least one was. Just imagine how refreshing it would be….

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  19. “Two Corinthians. It’s a very small deal,” said the Trump.

    “As small as your hands?” said the rest of us.

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  20. Aggieland Liz says:

    Yes. Mammon, Canaanite god of wealth. As in, “you cannot serve both God and Mammon,” attributed to Jesus the Christ. But you know two Corinthians, 1 Genesis, 1 Deuteronomy, and a bunch of people who “say ‘Lord, Lord’ ” has got to trump (koff) an itinerant Jewish hippie preacher who needed a haircut, right?

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  21. Cheryl Ann says:

    So are all those people now on his little bitty payroll? I’m pretty sure some listed never do anything with out a kick back.

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  22. Linda Phipps says:

    He is that desperate. He surely does solidify his coin with the evangelical dimbulbs, but any real Christian would be horrified at his Evangelical Advisory Board.

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  23. slipstream says:

    Which casino owner would Jesus endorse?

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  24. Annabelle Lee says:

    I would argue that Pluto is a more fitting god of wealth and greed, since we’re now a plutocracy.

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  25. If there really is an afterlife, those on this list are in for a hellufa surprise. Bad pun intended.

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  26. LynnN, thanks for the link. Lots of fun to be had there. (Bierce was bad, wasn’t he? I like him more and more!)

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  27. That’s quite the Rogues Gallery Donnie has assembled. Collectively they’re not worth a thimble of warm spit.

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  28. Course there weren’t any mainstream christians on that lit.
    They were smart enough to be loaded up with sprayers of Flit!

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  29. last I checked, the Constitution specifically states that there shall be no religious requirement, for public office. kind of fits in well with 1A’s “Establishment Clause”, don’t you think?

    with that group, this may be the first time in Mr. Trump’s life that he gets grifted, instead of the other way around.

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  30. Praise the Lowered

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  31. When are we going to revoke these jokers’ tax exempt status for “religious” institutions? Wasn’t staying out of politics one of the requirements.

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  32. dbtexas says:

    Well, Richard Land is a Southern Baptist, and that is probably considered “mainstream” these days. Since I consider myself a lifelong “recovering Baptist”, not certain that distinguishes him much from the rest. Jeffress is a Baptist too – among the worst, in my opinion.

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  33. e platypus onion says:

    The 2 Corinthians must be the ones who surrendered their hides to be tanned and made into rich, Corinthian leather for Ricardo Montalban’s 1975 Chrysler Cordoba ads.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corinthian_leather

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  34. Marcia in CO says:

    I’m surprise Franklin Graham and his crazy sister aren’t on that list or are they too mainstream?

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  35. maryelle says:

    epo, the “rich Corinthian leather” reference is a knee slapper.
    Thanks for the guffaw.

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  36. charles r. phillips says:

    Castro would be a great choice politically, but he needs to be ready for the top spot.

    Is he? Ready?

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  37. Snake-Eyes Copeland, Falwell, and Dobson. That’s gonna siphon off some serious shekels from the campaign treasury.

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  38. I don’t remember where I read this, but I must confess that it isn’t mine – Scumpf’s Fetal Fingers.

    Hahahahahahahah!!!!

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  39. Polite Kool Marxist says:

    Fred Phelps is dead, so James Dobson is next up on the Drumpf throne of dummies.

    #TrumpSoPoor he actually ‘thinks’ he can raid the pass the plate grifters. Short fingered little vulgarian is risking coming up a few fingers short. Test that evangelical love, Donnie.

    You have one thing in common – not paying taxes. We can fix that. 😀

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  40. Debbo, here are two more I lifted for the Scumpf’s Synonymous Dictionary: Orange is the new White and The Great White Dope.

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  41. Rubymay says:

    Yet again, Trump has wandered out onto very thin ice. All of the Salon’s clients are brilliant, as usual, but I most especially side with Annabelle Lee @ #5. It seems that the biggest hypocrites are always the most loudly proclaiming their religion. I prefer to keep my religion between God and me. Unlike many of the people on Trump’s list, I don’t believe that I have had actual conversations with God, so I guess He also likes it to be just between the two of us. I talk; he listens. Works for me.

    Trump CANNOT win this election!

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  42. Wonder if all the other major religions will complain?

    He is alienating people, wonder if they will realize he does not have their best interest in mind at all and will vote for him anyway.

    The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me!

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  43. Is Castro ready?He’s young, smart and amenable enough to be ready. Otherwise, does he see himself as Veep? That’s where confidence comes in. Like the old saying goes, some people are born with confidence, others get it like graduation present.

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  44. AliceBeth says:

    What? No one from the Duggar family? Or Franklin Graham who is despicable.

    As for VP, anyone Clinton picks is ready and qualified compared to anyone Trump picks.

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  45. And just remember, Donny is going to be so great for “The Gays”….

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  46. Sam in San Antonio says:

    This is no more than Radical Christianity; drone strike please.

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  47. Marge Wood says:

    Y’all done said it all. Trump, honey, you ain’t sposed to go all public with your pray-ers. Oh, maybe he has a row of prayer closets with places to insert quarters so the doors will open.

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  48. oldymoldy says:

    I’m not a bible knower so I don’t have any excuse for commenting here but I’m not going to let that stop me. It’s pretty revealing that not a single person in trumps camp was capable of bringing to his attention the common way of referring to the 2 cor. thing.

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  49. According to Politico, Donnie Drumph doubled down this morning on being the “king of debt”. On abc And cbs. Isn’t it interesting how, when talking about his bankruptcy and debit renegotiation actions, he always points out that they only affected his companies, but not him. That’s something to be proud of, right? Wait, If he gets the job he’s that Michelle Bachman says Jesus wants him to have, won’t that make US his new company? I guess when the verse about throwing the money changers out of the temple got written down, the verse about installing them in the palace was blurred by tears of joy.

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  50. Oh, and I almost forgot. The same piece on Politico claims he predicted back in 2000 that if he ever ran for president, he’d be the first guy to make a profit by doing it. Which seems to me presents an interesting situation for Bachmann and Falwell’s band of kooky kids. If he does turn a profit, he’s done it at the expense of hardworking Americans. But if he doesn’t, he’s a false prophet. What’s an apostate to do?

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