Oh y’all, Ron Paul says that Secret Service protection is welfare.

“It’s a form of welfare,” the presidential candidate told comedian Jay Leno Tuesday. “You know, you’re having the taxpayers pay to take care of somebody and I’m an ordinary citizen and I would think I should pay for my own protection and it costs, I think, more than $50,000 a day to protect those individuals. It’s a lot of money.”

Okay, so the way I understand this, the police patrol car that drives down my street a couple times a day is welfare.  I’m supposed to go hire Ramon Bigalow and His Trained Killer Dog Pansy to protect me?  Oh maybe get my shotgun out and sit on my porch all day?

And the fire department?  That’s welfare, too?  Hell, if I can’t afford a big hose and a ladder, then I deserve for my house to burn down.

And the FAA is welfare, too, dammit.  If I don’t want airplanes falling on my house, then I need to get a bunker like Ron Paul has.

And oh hell yes the game warden is welfare.  For stinkin’ animals!

Ya know, for a man who has never done one single constructive thing in his entire tenure in the United States Congress, I figure we ought to gift wrap his paycheck every month and call him the King of Damn Welfare.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.