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My friend Robert Leleux contends that some stories could only happen in Texas.

This story could happen anywhere, I suspect, but it’s just so much more fun when it happens in Texas.

This was the banner headline in the local Richmond / Rosenberg daily newspaper in the Sunday edition.

He did not know his wife was a man

Now, this story doesn’t take place in Richmond / Rosenberg or even Fort Bend County, but some news days are oh so slow and God knows that people are going to read this story to find out how you could NOT know you were a man married to a man.  Those things, even in Texas, generally don’t happen accidentally.

Well, this wonderful guy named Thomas dies heroically on July 3rd of last month as a volunteer firefighter fighting a fire at Maxim Egg Farm down in Boling, Texas, which is in Wharton County.  Nine days after he dies, his mother Simona files papers in court trying to get her son’s life insurance and estate away from his wife, Nikki.  In Texas, if you die without a will, half your estate goes to your spouse and the other half goes to your kids.  Your mother gets diddle squat.

Simona contends that her son was married to a transsexual but did not know it.

Oh, really?

Wouldn’t it be more dignified to put a bumper sticker on your car with “Ask me About My Son’s Sex Life”  the day after his funeral?

But, it gets better.

Two days after that, his ex-wife and the mother of his two children also files papers wanting the money.  I suspect that Thomas never got this much attention prior to becoming rich … and, coincidentally, dead.  But, I could be wrong about that, all because of Nikki.

Nikki, it seems, was born in California in 1975 with the name Justin.  In 1996, Justin filed these papers requesting a name change in Harris County, Texas.

“I, Justin Purdue, am a woman with male anatomy, working toward a sex change. I have been living and working as a woman for over one year and seek to make my new name legal and permanent.”

In Juanita’s mind, that settles it.  “If you stand up and say you’re a woman, Honey, you are a woman.  When the judge granted that decree, Justin can start using the ladies’ room as far as I’m concerned.  It’s hard enough being a woman with a woman’s body.  I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is to be a woman with a man’s body.  Jock itch, yuck!”

Juanita also says she’s anxious to know how a boy’s momma or his ex-wife intends to prove in court that her son did not know Nikki was born male.  “Can’t you just imagine someone testifying that their son repeatedly told them that he was not, I repeat not, married to someone born male?”

My favorite part of the whole story is that the only person without a comment is Nikki.

Nikki is the only one with a shred of dignity for Thomas’ name and reputation. That, my friends, is the definition of a real woman.