As you’ve probably heard by now, Swiftboater Bob Perry is standing before God this morning trying to explain why the millions he earned building substandard housing on the backs of undocumented and minimum wage workers was spent lying about people and trying to make life harder for children and old people.

It’s gonna be a long day for him because this afternoon he’s got to explain how a man claiming oh so loudly to be a Christian can be so damn mean to God’s children.

People are asking me what’s gonna happen now.  Because, as is well known, I have a crystal ball.  So Madam Swami Juanita is guessing —

1.  Karl Rove will starve to death.  Like a lion raised in captivity, he has no idea how to forage for himself.

2.  I know a couple of Bob Perry’s children.  There is fixing to be a boom in the Texas alcoholic beverage business and brat will be redefined as a positive characteristic.

3.  Texas Republicans are already hunting another pimp-daddy.  Rich men with no morals or ethics are overstocked in Texas.

4.  Bob Perry will not resurrect in three days, to the chagrin of Rick Perry (No relation.  Except for, you know, that money thing) who is whining and crying and slinging snot today.

5.  If you hear thunder today, it’s God saying, “Wrong answer, Bob!”

6.  Hell will be a little hotter by nightfall.

“I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.”

— Mark Twain