My Congressman
My congressman is a precious little munchkin of a person who struts, even when he’s sitting down.
This is going to be one of my rare long stories because I haven’t written in so long that this stuff has been piling up.
Let me start here: My congressman is Troy Nehls. He’s has lived on the public dole most of his life. First in the military, then he became a cop in a small town where he got fired for lying, and then he got elected constable, next he was sheriff, and finally congressman. During that time, he used his military education benefits to get a degree from Liberty University – Jerry Falwell’s laughable institution of higher learning.
The only thing of note he’s done in congress is to restore smoking to the capitol building. He went on Tucker Carlson, lit up his ever-present cigar and declared that smoking is “all about liberty.” But what is freedom to the Republicans if not the ability to imperil somebody else?
Troy Nehls handing an office visitor a cigar from his refrigerator-sized humidor.
A couple of weeks ago, a You Tube flashed online with Congressman Nehls being either drunk, drugged, or totally out of his freeking mind over some guy named Dontarius who was escorted into his office for some reason unknown to either Nehls, Dontarius, or God Hisowndamnself.
During this visit Nehl’s behavior ranged from declaring, “I’m all about the little man. The little man,” while reaching out to touch his visitor, chit chatting for 8 minutes over things that multinational corporations and the Illuminati are both still scratching their heads over. If you have eight minutes to watch this video, please note Nehl’s interactions during the picture-taking to “put the black man in the middle,” and the freaking size of his stand up humidor. This suckers ain’t cheap.
“Hey, put the black guy in the middle.”
But it’s not over. Hell, the fat lady is only clearing her throat and putting on her panties. Let’s go visit the Federal Elections Commission.
Here’s a letter they sent him last week asking about “Apparent Excessive, Prohibited, and Impermissible Contributions Nehls for Congress (C00730150)” And, just one of those full page of hinkey contributions was way too much money from Steve Wynn. Look, if you’re going to take money from Steve Wynn, don’t take so much that it’s illegal because that’s like putting a neon sign over it saying “I’m not just dumb. I’m dumb and a damn crook.”
And, there’s something I can’t figure out. An unauthorized expenditure at Misty J Productions? What the hell? I can’t even figure out who Misty J is, and Lord only knows what she produces.
So if you’re wondering why my congressman has to take so much questionable money, I have a little explanation for you.
First off, exercising your liberty to foul my air is not cheap. Apparently he doesn’t purchase his own cigars but allows his contributors to pay fr them from his tax-free campaign account.
Here’s Shelly’s Back Room. So, if you’re ever in DC and need the smell of farts and sludge, you can visit Shelly’s and have yourself a white boy experience. You’ll see more from Shelly’s in a minute.
But wait, liberty also means never paying for your own food.
Yeah, there’s some more money to Shelly’s and two payments to simply “Nehls” which is beyond normal reasoning.
There’s more but I’m tired of typing. I’m gonna keep an eye on this fella. What information I got from the FEC came from Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen and this anonymous Facebook page here.
There will be more.
How the H#ll do you spend over $600 at Chick Fil A?
1From here he looks like a cross between Tom Delay and Louis Gohmert. Talks dumb and steals the silver spoons.
2So, smoking is “all about liberty”? And here I thought it was all about lung cancer, COPD and emphysema. And then there’s the “liberty” to subject other people to second-hand smoke, so they can share the fun.
3Is anybody surprised that he was elected as a repugnantican congress critter? He was fired for lying as a policeman so he did the Texas 2step and they made him a constable and sheriff. No wonder George Santos was so comfortable and easily elected to be another congress critter.
4Chick-fil-A is a very religiously serious topic around the small towns here. People are always fanatically lobbying for Chick-fil-A to build some restaurants anywhere in the area counties, rumors spring up constantly, but the market apparently remains too small so far.
They use a lot of religious verbiage in their writing about Chick-fil-A in various venues [Chick-fil-A was founded and is run by the Aladamnbama super-Baptist Cathy family].
The locals get tired of going to the big city for a Chick-fil-A fix, and spending their money in what they envisage as part of their Xtian crusades.
Chick-fil-A’s supposed to be pretty good food, but I’ve only had it a couple times at family gatherings, never bought any.
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5As far as Mr. Nehls, imo, the only good –smoker– is a very ded one…what an SOB, and crooked as a mesquite root.
You’d think all that free-spending of campaign dinero would draw some legal attention, but IOKIYAR…
How he wins office in one of the most diverse, wealthiest counties in TX/US is sorta odd, although his district’s portion is quite red [I periodically worked around the area in the 70-90s and the local co-workers were about the most redneck I’ve seen anywhere].
Yep that my beloved congress critter all right.Why can’t we get a proper decent one? I’ve lived here since Tom DeLay days and even Ron Paul before that!! UGH
6Money laundering situation .
7Jim7 – my opinion, too. I’m baffled by why there are so many double charges of identical amounts to the same people/places on the same days. I mean…obvious, much?
8What gets me is that he not only dropped $600 in one whack at Chik-Fil-A, but he got out of the Plaza for $65.
9I wonder how much Nehls spent for the Lets Go Brandon sign on his wall, and if he bought that with campaign funds?
10Also: the person who shot the YouTube video: he brought his wife’s boyfriend? A boyfriend who thought it acceptable to flash his bare chest in the congressman’s office? This is a strange world Mr Nehl’s lives in.
We love it when you type, Ms. Juanita Jean Herownself. Two words struck us from your latest: Steve Wynn. He’s one of Nevaduh’s ‘finest’ sources of dark money. Attempted to rid ourselves of Mark Amodei (NV-02) in 2020 and 2022. Almost did it, but that dark money is a huge hurdle. Our apologies to you that Steve is spreading his $$$ to control congressional seats beyond our borders. Amodei remains among us and we now have a Republicon governor, no thanks to Steve and his cronies. Instead of the Blue we deserve we remain a broken purplish due to mega donors with avarice greed.
Also, many thanks and great appreciation to Alfredo, the WMDBS’s facts and numbers guy extraordinaire! ***If only*** Alfredo ran the FEC.
11Recently this congress-oid claimed that the Orange Wankstain could end the war in Ukraine with just one phone call to Putin. No one in the MSM thought to ask the guy “Then why doesn’t he make it?”. They also did not question just what the phone call would entail, just a magic wish-away.
Heidi Good: Delay has the excuse that the pesticides rotted his brain. Maybe Nehls can claim it’s smoking-related brain damage?
12A degree from Liberty University – Jerry Falwell’s indoctrination institution of religious right extremism?
13That’s all I gotta know.
J.J. we love anything you’ve got to say. Whenever you feel like sayin it.
14Professor, recently you defended our use of crude language when talking about trump.
I have to admit, Orange Wankstain is purty good.
It reminds me of the Scottish tweets.
But my favorite is still Weasel headed fucknugget.
Sorry Mama.
I thought mine was bad — Earl “Cruddy” Carter, who wants to replace income tax with a 30 percent sales tax — but you win the brass figlagee, Miss JJ.
(Jean Shepherd reference.)
15P.P. : I can’t take credit for the OW name, and you were close to it’s origin. I first saw it in 2017 in comments made about T**** in a Cambridge newspaper. So it’s definitely British in origin.
I started a list at that time, and it now has over 120 variant names ranging in niceness from “OK to use in church”, to “you don’t want to explain this to children”. Of them all, the one I think he’d find most insulting in person is “Eric’s dad”.
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