Maybe the Best Story of the Year
Res Ipsa Loquitur is a legal term meaning, “the thing speaks for itself.” It’s a complicated legal principle but it basically means “I don’t need to offer any further proof because – ta da! – there it is.”
Our friend Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen just sent me a story about res spa loquitur happening right here in America. And it is perhaps the best written story of the year.
Donald Trump’s official “independent ethics advisor” is a guy named Bobby Butchfield. Bobby’s wife Teresa, who is 53 years old, got caught earlier this year making the ooh la la in a parking lot with a 23 year old inmate at the county jail. It all sounds very tawdry until I tell you that they made those sparks in the backseat of her Maserati, which gives in an undeniable touch of class.
It seems that she would bring him cigarettes and he would bring her. That’s all – just bring her.
Yesterday, she enter a plea of no contest to the charges and paid the $2,500 fine, which is about the same she spends for lunch.
And when it’s all said and done, the straying spouse pleads out of all the crimes and walks away with a fine that amounts to pocket change and the inmate who thought they would get something out of this deal returns to jail with nothing but a couple cigarettes and cougar scratches.
And then comes a piece of word smithing so very fine …
When this chapter of American history draws to a close, this is where the GOP will find itself. Staring at an empty house and broken reputations while Trump skips into the sunset having trashed the office they gifted him and the MAGA hats will go right back to living hardscrabble lives and wondering why they never got anything out of this deal but 5 or 6 fleeting moments of excitement as they served as blowup dolls for the old rich people on the other end.
And that’s the truth.
Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for making my day.
Kudos to Miz JJ.
The skanky image, of course, had me first, but, “cougar scratches” burns it all into my brain. And of course my Drumpf-loving family and friends will hear about this. Endlessly. Cause, y’know, “leaders” cast long shadows.
1Thanks JJ and Alfredo (who really deserves a raise) for a wonderful laugh today!
I would hope that absolutely everybody involved with the current maladministration will eventually crash and burn and take their reputations with them. However, as Charlie Pierce pointed out today, both Ken Starr and Alberto Gonzalez have appeared on MSNBC and NPR where somebody thought their opinions were worth listening to. They are wrong, of course.
Who said there are no Second Acts in American life?
2If the Romeo was not in jail, but in the parking lot, are we to assume he was out on… work release?
3BarbinDC, Ken Starr and Alberto Gonzalez on the public airwaves, while the stable genius who wrote the most prurient questions directed at Bill Clinton is a nominee for SCOTUS. The snacilbupeR Age of Hypocrisy is rising to a crescendo under Dotard45.
Cougar scratches? Doesn’t the definition of cougar have an age limit/shelf life? Cigarettes must be more addictive than opioids.
4Maybe Bobby can get Trump to give Maserati boy a pardon so Bobby’s wife will stop making his life a living hell asking for sex all the time and he can go back to being ethical on others.
5Drumpf will hire her to head the prison system. Just watch.
6This previously devoted Trump preacher man has seen the light…he, too is a word smith to behold yet not quite as deft as the news article’s author! Trump and the horse he rode in on has dutifully been rebuked! https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=aKDoKyG8Lgo
7Res Ipsa Loquitur — my dictionary does give the same definition stated above — “the thing means itself” — but lists its LEGAL meaning as the concept that “the accident implies negligence.”
I’m not sure how the legal meaning could stray so far from the base definition but I just thought you should know.
8Aww y’all, she does look somewhat contrite in her mugshot. For a cougar. Honestly, what is wrong with these people?
9That is some excellent writing. The last paragraph is a masterpiece. Thanks for the uplift!
10In the age of the Golgothan, what do call a newsday that has a story with Maseratis, cougar scratches and blowup dolls in it?
Tuesday.
11It is a good article. But I’ll tell you, if you haven’t followed Augie’s link to the preacher you are sorely missing out!! He will save you the cost of a permanent at TWMDBS and you’ll have lots of fun. I’m joining his church, wherever it is and no matter what I believe. Whew!! Click on the link and buckle your seat belt.
12Hey, can just anybody go by the jail and borrow an inmate for an hour or so?
Asking for a friend . . .
13Ohhhhhh my James David Manning ain’t wrapped real tight is he?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_David_Manning
“Jesus would stone homos…”
14https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/17/atlah-jesus-would-stone-homos_n_4979653.html
Another fine, and in its way even more appalling, article by Joe Patrice: https://abovethelaw.com/2018/08/trumps-latest-circuit-nominee-graduated-law-school-in-2007/
15Well, I for one am very surprised by this story.
I thought that Lamborghinis didn’t have back seats.
Though I assume the front seats recline pretty far.
16Looking around now for an empty picture frame. Would like to hang that last paragraph on the wall right where any Trumpers could see it on entering the house.
17Lunargent @16, Maserati, not Lamborghini. In addition to the GT sports car, Maserati makes a sedan and an SUV, both of which have nice back seats.
18https://www.maseratiusa.com/maserati/us/en/models
This is simply NOT a credible story — who would ever believe that Trump has an official “independent ethics advisor”?
19@Dan up north
Maserati seats are Nice, but nothing like the Citroen DS, to wit,
20https://autoweek.com/article/car-life/science-proves-worlds-most-comfortable-couch-based-citron-ds-back-seat
@AlanInAustin
21Had the same thought. What a lonely, hopeless, overwhelming job. In an administration absolutely bereft of ethics.
Thank you, assorted motorheads – I stand corrected.
I’ve never gotten into the sports car thing myself. I’m a Subaru gal.
22Seriously? Bobby Butchfield? Ethics advisor? You’ve got to be kidding.
23I’m sure that a Trump “ethics advisor” is one of those jobs that pays money for doing no work whatsoever.
24I love Juanita Jean, a beautician after my heart, and I love Sen Susan Collins, also a woman after my heart both women tell the unadulterated truth. Now, on the other hand, we have Republican Donald Trump and Democrat Maxine Waters, both loose cannons without any hint of ever ascribing to be souls of discretion. I doubt that either loose cannon has ever bothered to taste their words before allowing them to pass through their lips. For some comic relief, I suggest Trump and Waters engage in a televised duel, a verbal duel of nonsensible gibberish.
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