I do not watch Fox and Friends.  I also do not put my hand into a running blender.

People who do watch Fox and Friends are kind enough to underline the weird parts so I can enjoy it.

Steve Doocy makes the first announcement about the job numbers, referring to the BLS news release as the “jobless report.” He hesitates and stumbles before saying that the unemployment rate stands at five percent, and adding, “I believe that could be a little lower than in August, and in September as well.”

Hummmm …. so how can you spin that?  You do the “DeWayne failed math and grandpa has already dozed off so we can pull a fast one” tactic.  Except, hell, you can pull a slow one. Elisabeth Hasselbeck is the perfect choice to do that job because Lord knows she ain’t the brightest light on the Christmas tree. She explains …

“That’s right, Steve. Only 271,000 new jobs were added last month. That is up from September as well. Analysts were expecting more than 180,000 jobs for October.”

Okay, so analysts were expecting more than 180,000 jobs but only 271,000 were added?  That Obama is such a failure.  He can even do what experts were expecting.  Thanks, Obama.

And somewhere in a cryogenically sealed dark room, Rupert Murdoch is rubbing his hands together and chuckling. Even Darth Vader trembles in terror.