Marco Rubio and The Pope. No, Wait. Marco Rubio and Joseph Smith. No, Wait. Marco Rubio and Franklin Graham. No, Wait. We’re Back To the Pope. Crap, Wait Some More. Now It’s L. Ron Hubbard. No, It’s Not. It’s Franklin Graham Again. No, Wait.
Marco Rubio is covering all his bases betting on an afterlife. He hasn’t been Jewish yet but it’s not for a lack of trying.
While growing up initially Catholic, Rubio then became a Mormon, then switched back to Catholicism, then became a Southern Baptist and a Catholic, then left the Baptists and simply became a Catholic, then he became a Baptist again, then a Catholic again, all the while technically remaining a Mormon.
It think maybe he’s a Baptolicmon. Which sounds vaguely Jamaican.
So, anyway, he’s all hacked off at the Pope right now because Rubio says the Pope isn’t for “freedom.”
Get a load of this theology, geography, and logic talk —
“I think the people of Cuba deserve the same chances to have democracy as the people of Argentina have had, where he comes from; as the people of Italy have, where he now lives. Obviously the Vatican’s its own state, but very nearby. My point is I hope that people with that sort of prestige on the world stage will take up the cause of freedom and democracy.”
The Vatican is “very nearby” Italy? Well, I suspect you can say that. You’d look like an idiot but you can say it.
You know how effective the embargo has been bringing Cuba toward democracy? Zero. Nada.
Hell, according to Rubio, we don’t even have a democracy here. We have socialism with a Kenyan leader.
Hey Rubio, you wanna be President? Shuddup about the Pope. He has a much higher approval rating than you do. But then again, so does paper cuts.
Thanks to Carl for the heads up.
I would like to see a photo of the people who told Marco he was ‘smart’. Seriously.
1@Eykis
It would probably have to be a “Selfie”. 🙂
2Dehydration produces some ugly side effects.
3Ouch, Miemaw, that one burned just a bit. But I found it delicious.
4I think the Pope has a better chance of becoming President than Marco Rubio.
5Every time I see anything about this guy he comes across as
6sort of a Ken Doll. Empty head and all. I am really glad he is all the way across the country from me. He just has that mien of
the kid who urged others to do something bad and then waited to see how things turned out to either claim credit or deny every thing. There is zero chance of him being President so I just feel sorry for Florida. At best, he is Dan Quayle material, with Pat Boone singing back-up
Sounds as though Rubio won’t be happy until he finds a religion that worships him.
7Rubio – a real ‘let’s you and him fight’ type guy.
8Wow! After all my study in grad school psych, I thought I would never see a case of religious identity crisis! Thanks, Marco! At least it was better than watching how many times the caged mouse poops.
9We should send him a book on World Religions, that ought to keep him busy for awhile exploring and converting. He may not cause so much trouble in politics if it’s a really thick compilation.
10Bless his heart. I thought most folks went through that in college. Or in their 40s. Mid life crisis? and I’d definitely vote for the Pope rather than Rubio. PKM and da Chipster and anyone else, how about a song about this?
11Marge Wood, how does one do a parody of a living breathing parody? There is no way I can top the youtube video of Rubio guzzling water. He’s so pure he diluted his brain.
12The Ballad of Marco and Francis not Pancho and Lefty(Needs some work)
Livin on the hill my friend,
Is gonna keep you lean and mean
Now you take your dogma neat
Your heart’s as hard as kerosene
You weren’t McConnell’s only boy,
But his favorite one it seems
He began to cry when you said goodbye
And sank into your dreams
Marco was a idiot boy,
His wit was fresh as day-old beer.
He wore his thoughts outside his head
For all the honest world to fear.
Marco took a rigid stand in the marbled halls of the Vatican
Nobody heard his dyin words, ah but that’s the way it goes
All the Mormons had to say, they could’ve had him any day
They only let him slip away, out of kindness I suppose
The Holy See still sings the blues all night long like he used to
The dust that Marco bit it seems Made the Pontiff start to beam
The day they laid poor Marco low, the Pope played a guitar solo
With chops he stole from Stevie Ray, somewhere along the way
All the Baptist had say, they could’ve had him any day
They only let him slip away out of kindness I suppose
The boys tell how old Marco fell, and Francis pardoned him from hell
The desert’s quiet, Cuba’s warm And the story ends without much harm
Marco needs your prayers it’s true, but save a few for Francis too
He only did what he had to do, and now he’s growing old
All the Catholics had to say, they could’ve had him any day
They only let him go so long, out of kindness I suppose
A few gray teabaggers say, they could’ve had him any day
13They only let him go so long, out of kindness I suppose
Wow, Ralph! We all should go sit surrounded by snowdrifts I guess. This is wondrous. I figure someone else’ll come up with another profound one before the day is over. Tune? Who do you think should sing this?
14And while we’re at it, how can we get the rich and powerful Democrats to speak up loudly on practical issues like food and jobs and clean air and water? LOUDLY? Elizabeth Warren needs a good chorus. So does Bernie Sanders.
15Marge, it’s a medication issue.
16Way to go Ralph — the TVZ original was the last thing I heard before I turned the car off and headed into work this morning so I can tell that you’ve got the meter and the rhyming scheme well covered. Bravo!
17Oh, Marco “The Rube” Rubio. You have problems with the people of Cuba not having freedom and democracy… unlike those 1 billion+ Chinese you seem to have forgotten. Yet this country has a lot of interaction with them!! (Check to see where your smartphone was made, skippy!)
18Don, I was listening to Townes this morning too. That song sticks in my head. And it turned out to be perfect for plagiarism. . . they could’ve had him any day.
19Ralph Wiggam, tip of the hat good sir! Bravo!!!
20I caught Rubio’s full statement on C-Span over the weekend, when he was fully indignant over our President’s press conference. I think he, Ted and Ted’s Daddy Cruz need to deport themselves back to Cuba. They’d have a ball forming another repressive government together.
I guess I didn’t fully understand why there were so many pissed off Cubans pulling the straight Republican crank in the voting booth over the years. I was just a kid living in the Panhandle when that Bay of Pigs thing happened, so I was fairly clueless, hadn’t spent much time thinking about the politics of the whole thing. My Dad’s sister’s third husband’s sister’s husband (got that?) ran a big sugar plantation in Cuba for some big American corporate sugar operation. The family basically disappeared off the face of the earth for a few weeks, so my “Uncle Dennis”, who was a stockbroker in Ft Worth, somehow, someway snuck into Cuba, found his sister/husband/kids, and with a whole lot of bribes got them off the island. It was interesting to read the newspaper account of the whole sordid affair in a very old clipping from a Ft Worth paper that my aunt had saved. (Amazing the things one finds when you inherit a relative’s life-treasures.) That probably cost Uncle Dennis a whole lot less than the $$ he had spent drinking and gambling in Havana over the years prior to that escapade….
21Someone who has that much trouble figuring out what the heck religion he believes should settle down for a while in a darkened (not to say padded) room for a while if he has any thoughts about becoming president of anything.
22Who should sing that song? Why, Willie Nelson, of course, now that Joe Cocker just picked up the Big Bus here in Colorado today!! Joe will be singing “Gimme an ‘F’ …” in heaven now!!
23His theology is screwy. Like L. Ron Hubbard’s (failed science fiction writer).
24Kudos, Ralph. It seems we have excellent lyricists here at the
25salon. These songs should be performed often (youtube?) to inspire the progressive movement just like the protest songs did in the 60’s. “All We Are Saying Is Give Us A Chance”.
Umm, but isn’t this pope from Argentia? Which, as far as I can recollect, is no where near Italy.
But that statement sounded George W. Bush-ish. That there is presidential timber. Or at least nominee timber. Well, almost has-been timber, anyway. He will sell a lot of books on the campaign trail, anyhow.
26Anyone here can write and publish a book on Create Space. If you are willing to spend big bucks they will edit, do art work, format, the whole schmear. Lots of you are better writers than well known writers whose work you see in the library. Or you can write, edit, illustrate, format and design your own book and wander through the self publication maze for a small investment, and hope you can find somebody to make an outrageous cover and a marketer to sell your book. You really can. Miss Prissyb, glad the relatives of your relatives got away okay.
27Ah reminder genius, the Argentinian military junta that “disappeared” tens of thousands of its suspected leftists was recognized by the United States.
28@Ralph Wiggam
29The Late Great Townes Van Zandt is scratching like hell to get out of his coffin!
Rubio always kinda reminds me of Jindal, I guess both of them were anchor babies, but Jindal the Hindu, Protestant excorcist
30person does not seem to know what he is either!
I’d say being torn between Catholicism, LDS and SoBap’s is a reflection on his taste for wine and coffee.
31I thought, in order to have a religion, one was first required to be a human being. If that is indeed the case, Marco fails.
32Being indecisive about ones religion is one thing. Heck, the only thing I know about LDS I learned from Southpark. Southern Baptist is a bit easier to figure: if it’s fun they are against it. I’m Catholic so I have that covered. Again, being indecisive is one thing. At least have the presence of mind to keep your mouth shut on matters of religion.
As far as Cuba is concerned, he is entitled to his opinion and he even has some personal stake in it. He has every right to utter something the vast majority of people know is wrong. It is America after all.
33Here Comes Santa Claus
Here comes Marco
Here comes Marco
Right down Crazy Man Lane
Vexed and Bluster and all his mania
are pulling on his chain.
Bats are winging, idiots singing;
all is scary and fright.
Drink your water and say you’re wrong.
‘Cause Marco Rubio comes tonight.
Here comes Marco
34Here comes Marco
Right down Crazy Man Lane
He’s got a head that’s filled with noise
for Charles and David again.
Hear that water slosh
in his soggy head
Jump in line, cover up your head
‘Cause Marco Rubio comes tonight.
Scrolling through the headlines on Christmas Eve, it all becomes a lovely blur: Dog Shoots Marco Rubio, Embraces Scientology, Gets rich on Uranium.
No, it’s the wine. Thank you.
35Linda Phipps, you must be reading at a liberal site, where the wine is good. Enjoy and a Happy New year!
Over at Dante’s 14th Ring, the ho ho ho of the day is screeching whine and cheese a rat wouldn’t eat, Santorum rejected by a dog, L Ron Hubbard mistaken and shot as a thug, while Uranus filed suit on Republicans.
36PKM I like the way you think. Have a healthy and contented 2015.
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