Lyin’ Ted

March 07, 2018 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ted Cruz has now had since last November to give thought to his opening salvo against Beto O’Rourke, who has out raised Cruz every reporting period.

Well, here’s Cruz’s opening salvo and you can tell that Cruz put every bit of his creativity and thought into it.

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz’s first shot at his expected Democratic challenger, Rep. Beto O’Rourke? Mocking his name.

As Tuesday’s primaries were closing, Cruz’s campaign released a 60-second radio ad that was a country music jingle prodding O’Rourke for going by “Beto” rather than “Robert.”

“Liberal Robert wanted to fit in, so he changed his name to Beto and hid it with a grin,” the song says.

Okay, so let me see if I have this right.  A man named Rafael Edward Cruz who was born in Canada makes fun of somebody’s name?

That’s your best shot, Cruz?  Dude, buy a mirror.

 

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0 Comments to “Lyin’ Ted”


  1. Coprolite says:

    But until age 13, Cruz — born Rafael Edward, in a nod to his father and to his mother’s Irish-Italian family — went by the Spanish-language nickname Felito. He changed it to Ted to stop getting teased by kids in Houston who said it rhymed with “Fritos, Cheetos, Doritos, and Tostitos,” according to his political memoir, A Time for Truth.

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  2. Cruz also pulled the old Repub claim that Beto would take your gun. Guns, God and gays underpinning of the Repubs in Texas for years.

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  3. Jane & PKM says:

    Coprolite, all that and it’s not a bag of chips when it comes to Teddie Crooze’s childhood nickname, Felito. But then how do we state politely what The Mooch said Steve Bannon could do all by his lonesome? Apparently as a boy Teddie had that same talent.

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  4. He should stick to his rendition of Green Eggs & Ham. A high point in his attempt at the performing arts.

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  5. They should debate the issues in Spanish. Beto’s is beautiful. Rafael no conoce nada.

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  6. A Time for Truth. Truth? Rafael Cruz? Truth? REALLY???? You gotta be effing kidding me. Truth and Rafael have never even been in the same area code.

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  7. maryelle says:

    Google Ted Cruz, dog peeing.
    An oldie but goodie.

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  8. I’d love to see a Beto-Ted debate in Spanish (even though I wouldn’t understand it).
    “Dude, buy a mirror.”
    He can’t. If he looked into one, he’d dissolve into a puddle of sanctimony and entitlement.

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  9. After what we saw during the campaign, this looks like instant replay.

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  10. If Rafael “The Canadian” Cruz wants to make fun of Beto O’Rourke’s name he needs to be reminded that Beto is a born and bred true Texan and not a cheap import from Canada.

    My apologies to Canada, most of them and what they send us is really quite good.

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  11. WA Skeptic says:

    If he were to look in a mirror, he probably wouldn’t have a reflection.

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  12. He gives a bad name to the rest of us Teds.

    Signed, Ted Bundy, Ted Kaczinski, and this Ted

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  13. Sandridge says:

    I’ve always suspected that DetesTed Cruz cannot even speak Spanish* conversationally, has anyone ever heard him speaking more than a few words?

    * Which may have been part of his CA-CU-IE-IT upbringing, and could have been intentional or just practical (not that there’s anything wrong with that, some of my 1/2 Hispanic kids barely do, most of which was learned in school)

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  14. Well Felatio, at least Beto’s Dad didn’t have breakfast with Lee Harvey Oswald.

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  15. That Other Jean says:

    Did we really need further confirmation that Rafael Edward Cruz is a slimeball, no matter what you call him? I don’t think so. I hope Beto O’Rourke wins that election by so much that Cruz will never show his face in public again.

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  16. Why would you wish that upon a perfectly innocent mirror that never did you any harm?

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  17. notjonathon says:

    Radical rightist Rafael wanted to be an ass, so he changed his name to Ted and hid it with a sneer.

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  18. twocrows says:

    “Texas Sen. Ted Cruz’s first shot at his expected Democratic challenger, Rep. Beto O’Rourke? Mocking his name.”

    Yeah, well — mocking worked so well for Trump. So, why not?

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  19. I love John Candy, Christopher Plummer, Martin Short, Lorne Greene (can you believe that Pappa Bonanza was Canadian?), Leslie Lielsen, Ryan Reynolds, Micheal J. Fox, Dan Aykroyd, Phil Hartman, Howie Mandel, Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeve, and Mike Myers. However, all of those wonderful people do not make up for Justin Bieber and Ted Cruz.

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  20. Thanks, Vickie! I really, really loved the last line of Colbert’s jingle — perfect! Thanks again. (I needed a good laugh tonight.)

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  21. Rafael Edward Cruz
    Thinks it is a shame
    If someone doesn’t use
    His whole first name

    But “Ted” is what *he* uses
    Rafael he knows won’t fly
    And Felipe he refuses
    ‘Cause some kids once made him cry

    Chorus: Oh, Felipe Rafael
    When you lie you go to hell
    O’Rourke has got your number
    And you just look dumb and dumber

    Teddy’s wife’s at Goldman Sachs
    A big bank up in New York
    So his comfort nothing lacks
    As he laughs at young O’Rourke

    He’s got money, he’s got clout
    What could possibly go wrong?
    Well, WE can vote him OUT
    That’s the point of this whole song.

    Yeah, Felipe Rafael
    When you lie you go to hell,
    And O’Rourke has got your number
    And you do look dumb and dumber

    …………………………….
    Anyone need singable words for their political songs? And this is only a first draft.

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  22. I also write tunes, but other people do that better. So generally I use pre-made tunes to get the beat right. This time I didn’t. Grab and go, some genius among you. I’d love to be singing this with a bunch of others someday.

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