California has earthquakes and wildfires.  Texas has Louie Gohmert.  California does not want to trade.

Louie offered proof today that he understands the basics of reproduction.

He wants to take four opposite sex couples, four male couples, and four female couples.  He wants to deposit them on three different deserted islands with all they need to sustain life.  Then he says —

let’s come back in 100 to 200 years and see which one nature says is the preferred marriage. Which one still is doing great and doing well. And I think we’ll have our answer.

You don’t need to actually do this.  I can tell you what will happen.

On the opposite sex island, one of the men will be Newt Gingrich.  He will need to marry all four of the women to prove his commitment to marriage.  Therefore, he will have to indict and convict the other three men.

The offspring of Newt’s first marriage will be hated by Newt’s second wife so they will swim over to the lesbian island and become famous baseball players.  Newt’s second wife’s children will hang around.  The third wife’s kids will go to the gay island and learn to be world famous Broadway producers and invent a cure for cancer in their spare time.

The children of Newt’s second marriage will inbreed with the children from his fourth marriage and become the Republican congress.

I told you this would not end well, Louie, you bastard inbreed child of Newt Gingrich.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.