Louie! (For Old Times Sake)
Okay, as we say a fond farewell to Louie Gohmert, the FEC joins in the praise by issuing him one last violation of ethics rules. It appears that Mr. Grubby Fingers took excessive donations from …
And it will come as no shock to you that the House Freedom Fund is every Donald Trump puppet in congress.
Way to go out, Louie! Violating rules is the monument to your time in the House.
As you know, Louie ran for Texas Attorney General in the Republican primary against an indicted felon whose whole upper staff resigned and called him a crook, Ken Paxton. There were four candidates in the race. Louie came in fifth.
No, no, I just made that up. But, he came in such a distant fourth that it might as well been seventh. Which goes to show you that Louie isn’t all that popular in Texas as a whole. Face it, they placed an indicted felon and George P. Bush above him. That’s gotta sting.
Now you’re probably asking yourself, who is going to replace ole Louie? The Devil.
He’s the current county judge in Smith County.
Nathaniel Moran. I’m not sure how you pronounce his last name but … he’s gonna be a fun one, that guy.
I know, I know: we should not attack people on the basis of their appearance, even if it includes cloven hooves and a pair of horns sprouting at the receding hairline.
But … lotsa the kids around the university have been pointing out how many men of the 6 Jan insurrectionists, the racists, and the alleged master race look like … thumbs. Thumbs sticking out of a collar and tie in this case. A neck with no visible swelling where the head starts, all the way to where it ends.
Once that’s been pointed out to you, it’s hard to miss. Anyway, I’m sure he will give us all plenty of reasons to regard him a thumb-head. Never enough to match Louie’s years of practice, but it’d be hard to find anyone outside a loony bin that could match him.
1Louie!, the insanity that keeps on giving.
I’m patiently waiting for Sarah/Louie! 2024.
It would almost make all the craziness of the last few years feel ‘right’.
I guess I’ve finally given up on Palin/Joe the Fake Plumber ticket. Sigh
2So this moron will join a group of other morons like chip Roy, ronnie jackson, dan crenshaw. I know Texas has lots of repugnantican representatives, most of whom I can’t name without looking at a list, but seems another moron will fit right in.
3Last time I saw the numbers, Louie was the only Rep with a negative net worth. Is he still the only one who hasn’t figured out how to make the big score in DC ??
4At least East Texas voters were savvy enough to pick someone they knew could mess things up a county level, before they entrusted him to screw up the entire district for them.
Unlike that restaurant waitress out in west Colorado. Those voters just got lucky she could apply her bad personal and business decisions to government.
5Good news!! … the candidate can save campaign donations, since there already is a well-established design for his political advertising:
6https://mericamagazine.org/2015/09/27/get-a-brain-morans-the-meta-discourse-of-misspelled-tea-party-signs-arlynda-boyer/
Hey, Texas Rs could have selected someone as equally sane as Gohmert.
Like Charles Manson.
7I considered the thumb description, but what I see when I look at that picture is one of those inflatable punch dolls/clowns. You know the kind. You bop them, they fall over and bounce back up to be punched again.
8AK Lynne: you’re right, a rolly-polly figure is even more apt.
But it seems “thumb” is a growing term, so be prepared to encounter it on-line and elsewhere. I first heard it when two students talking about a new Dean, and one of them dismissed him by saying he was “just another thumb”. Since then I’ve noticed it popping up on various on-line venues.
john in denver: that’s a really interesting article. I’m willing to cut slack for the new generation of idiots like Gaetz, Empty Green, and the Colorado Annie Oakley – after all, they’ve grown up with spell-checkers and autocorrect. But it never made sense for the 40+ crowd to be so ignorant about spelling, syntax, and grammar. Everyone here at the Salon mispells words, but before we’d march around in public with a sign, we’d make sure it was spelled correctly.
9I miss the Friday toons.
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