As you probably know, Louie Gohmert got fined $5,000 for sneaking into the House floor without going through screening.

Stop yourself real quick if you were having the notion that Louie was going to stand for something, anything, that might require courage. Nope.

I have to stop right here and tell you a story.  Years ago, a kinda floozie lady in my town got her purse stolen off the front seat of her car while she dashed into the post office.  Our town was so small then all crime got reported with a full description in the newspaper. Her’s, with her name fully spelled out, reported a stolen purse worth $45. Inside the purse was a wallet with $11 in cash, a hairbrush worth $6, some “personal products” with no monetary value listed, and makeup worth $376.  I would have lied.  I would have. Or, I would have just eaten the loss, not wanting people to know that I need the much expensive makeup. To this day, every time I see her, I start adding up her face.

Louie’s “excuse” was that he left the house floor to go to the bathroom and it wasn’t like the Godfather where they hide guns in the bathroom because there’s not tanks on the toilets in the congressional bathroom.

Lemme stop here and say that I think it would be totally proper to screen him to see if he washed his hands, too.

Well, now that Louie has pondered on it, he’s decided to challenge the constitutionality of screenings, so the first thing he did was issue a press release.

“Since I had been complying with the metal detector requirement despite the Constitutional issue, I was surprised to receive a notice today stating that I had not complied with their policy and that I would be fined $5,000.

“I will be appealing the fine and taking whatever action is necessary, especially considering this policy is unconstitutional.

He should have lied and said that’s why he did it in the first place. Louie doesn’t have $5,000. Nobody knows where all Louie’s money goes, but he’s among the poorest people in congress.  He just barely keeps his nose above water.

And here’s a hint to the court hearing his appeal:  Louie was a judge in east Texas for years.  Why is it unconstitutional for him to be scanned but not for all those people who came to the courthouse to be scanned to protect him?

Oh Louie.