Losing a Friend
Yesterday it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have a friend from intermediate school and high school that decided to end our friendship. I suppose this didn’t happen yesterday. I just noticed that he had unfriended me yesterday and when I reached out he made it official. I wished him well and then we seemed to roll back into the same arguments. I hoped he was at peace. He said he was. He clearly is not. Then again, maybe I’m not either.
Anytime a relationship ends it is a good idea to inventory our own lives. Is there something I did that was wrong? Have I changed in the intervening years? Have I somehow become radicalized and not know it? Have my views become more extreme and driven people away? These are all legitimate questions and I should recount my history so people get a clearer picture.
I have always been keenly interested in politics because my family was always keenly interested in politics. We have always been left of center and I imagine always will be. So, if anyone really changed it wasn’t me. What we have seen since 1980 is that half of our country is moving further to the political extremes and it isn’t us on the left. I suppose some of that is a natural backlash when you have people that were quiet about their desires before now coming out and demanding it out loud. I do get how that seems sudden and it seems arbitrary and contrary to everything we have been. It’s really not. Women have been demanding more rights for decades. People of color have been demanding more rights for decades. People with alternative lifestyles have been demanding more rights for decades. I’m sorry if some people slept through that and missed it.
I think a large part of it is that our parents largely shielded us from the worst of their struggles. We saw an idealized view of life growing up. In some ways it may have been easier back then. I’m sure for some people it was. I can certainly look at my relatives that did not go to college and see how they succeeded when people today struggle under those same circumstances. I’m sure some of these same friends I grew up imagined they would be doing something different by now. I’m sure they imagined life being easier than it became.
In this kind of world it is easier to blame someone else than take personal responsibility. Blaming someone else is what demagogues do best. Today it might be the immigrants, but we have heard the current GOP nominee mention other groups as well. He has called people like me “the enemy within.” We cannot normalize that. We cannot simply brush that off. We cannot simply accept that as the musings of a mad man howling at the moon.
So, while it would be wrong to say that I have not changed at all, it is more fair to say that I haven’t changed all that much. I am speaking out more because the situation calls for it. I am sure some of you have had similar experiences. It’s obvious to me that my friend has changed and not for the better. I refuse to believe that he was always this way because that would mean that I was okay with it at some point. Others have described this current iteration of the conservative movement as a cult and I think that aptly describes what has happened to him. I pray that he wakes up one day and realizes it.
Yup. I know exactly what you mean. It aint pretty. Especially when t happens in a family.
1I am sorry you lost a friend, Nick. I think all of us have lost friends – and family, too – in this madness. I pray that the craziness ends soon.
2We live in a world where education matters. In Texas, we have the second largest economy behind California, yet we are #46 in educating our children and adults, including in political science and philosophy. When the government purposely narrows our view, people who have neither the time nor interest to look further will just cave and agree with their overlords.
3In my personal experience, 10 years ago people I considered friends that had a different political leaning than myself were able to discuss and even kid each other without malice. We could move on to other subjects we had a common interest in (like sports, work, etc), then go to lunch, go golfing and have a beer together. I bet most of us have experienced the same thing with friends and family and it’s sad. Not sure what will change this dynamic unless some politicians with big mouthpieces find it possible to break away from the cult and become leaders to bring the country together. A few have done that but not nearly enough. If TFFG becomes the current FG again, this divide will only get worse. As I’ve said before, I’m concerned for my kids and grandkids.
4Me too!
5Years ago an active progressive in Houston, Billie Carr, reminded us that if a person bought a pound of coffee they were involved in politics. Politics colors everything we do.
My next door neighbor and I had coffee every morning and discussed current events. We discussed, cussed and raised our voices because we did not agree on any political issue. We stayed friends forever. And it taught our kids they didn’t have to agree on everything. We had much more much in common.Too bad your former couldn’t see that we are all shaped in part by our education and experience. A great deal of resources are devoted to making too much of our differences.
6Have you changed… become radicalized… extreme…?
Hell no. From reading your thoughtful posts here for some time, you clearly haven’t kept up with the insane degradation of the modern ‘Murikkkan Rethuglikkkans.
This is going to sound harsh…but…
You always take an accommodating, bipartisan attitude to (I’m going to go unvarnished here, no fault of yours) with what have become your sworn ENEMIES, who will have NO compunctions about herding you into their ovens when instructed to do so by their christofascist masters when the time comes.
It’s probably too late now for y’all (those who are behind the real times) to do what’s necessary to effectively defend yourselves against what is likely coming down the pike.
You can probably still obtain a few weapons and ammo, if the gunstores aren’t bare yet. But unless you have some range acreage, it’s too late to be training with those weapons (presuming this for those unskilled in the art). Just as using any nearby gun ranges is probably not advisable now.
And I assume that I haven’t been too popular around here because I’ve been ranting about this kind of stuff for years, and some of y’all have been way too complacent.
Now the heavy surf is about to break over your heads and you’re likely totally unprepared for what is almost certain to be coming. These lunatics have been slavering for Civil War II for quite awhile…
7Addendum: That ‘friend’ that you wrote about hasn’t really been your friend in quite a while. He became your sworn enemy some time ago, and like most of them, he slyly didn’t bother to let you know.
8Now that you know, prepare yourself as well as possible for what may be coming…
Well, I’m not quite at that point, Sandridge. I will say with the number of magat sympathizing shuriffs and polleese around, don’t expect much help from them either. They’re even in blue areas where you wouldn’t expect them.
9Too late?
Kamala Harris denounces Trump as ‘fascist’ who wants ‘unchecked power’
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/oct/23/harris-trump-fascist-hitler-comments-election
10Sandridge @7 Many years ago I got involved with the John Birch crew. IMO, they just kept keeping on, one school board or city council person at a time. IMO, they are in control. A Trump win will seal the deal. They will recreate the confederacy.
11Crone @11, Slight correction: They are recreating The Third Reich… Call it the Fourth Reich, Viertes Reich. Without a doubt!
And yes, I have a little bit of experience with this topic.
As far back as in high school, in a political simulation of the 1964 US election, I was given the task of emulating the then Republican, de facto, Right Wing position, which was greatly influenced by the nascent John Birch Society, and dug into the assignment quite thoroughly…
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_Reich
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Birch_Society
12Steve @9, Best get with the program, dude. They may well be coming for you soon…. ;(
13I’m choosing to be hopeful. I’ll let you know how I feel on the 7th or so. I had been planning to turn my 12 guage and 22 into the local police but maybe for now I’ll clean them because they haven’t been used for probably 45 years or so. I still have ammo for both, though.
14OK Sandridge, your concern is warranted. Can’t sugarcoat this.
https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/tempe-breaking/2024/10/23/suspect-identified-tempe-democratic-party-office-shootings/75806849007/
Also in AZ, ballot box set on fire. It’s nuts. Anything to prop up the orange oozing abscess.
15Steve @15, It’s as simple as ‘the domestic stochastic terrorism*’ popcorn popper has really really begun to heat up.
The prime heater is of course Comrade Donnei. Just listen to him rant. Sure, he sounds like an incoherent raving lunatic to many.
But he, and his handlers, know exactly what they’re doing.
There’s a certain percentage of the MAGAot base that has an inherent, variable, potential for domestic terrorism at any given time.
One can never directly link to a ‘point A to point B’ cause-effect mechanism in the pile of kernels.
But like the Shroedinger’s cat paradox, a finite number of MAGAot kernels –are– going to pop off at any given temperature (to mangle several analogies).
The domestic terror popper has begun. Coming to your place? Maybe… maybe not…
.
* The term “stochastic terrorism” was originated (+ or -) over on the Daily Kos blog by a commentor called “G2geek” some time ago. I’ve known him for many years, and sometimes worked with him on certain G2 type thingys.. there’s a fairly large bunch of informal cointel peeps who’ve been on the loose for a while….
Stochastic Terrorism, a good rundown:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stochastic_terrorism
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat
16IOW, Quantum MAGAots… crouching within Comrade Bonespurs popper box.
17Will they or won’t they??
Look and see…
I am somewhat familiar with guns. Dad and Brother were deer hunters. Hubs is a duck hunter. Oldest is a Marine. I’ve even shot a few Coke cans myself. Question: Just how many guns do these (insert expletives here) gun humpers think they can use at a time before law enforcement shoots back and very likely removes them from the gene pool? What good is a stash of say 120, or 300, or whatever outrageous number of weapons if you are the lone shooter and only get to use even as many as three or four before, well, law enforcement prevails? Seems like a lot of delusion and waste of money to me.
Perhaps some of the patrons of the Salon have better insight than I.
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