Local Stuff: And, Of Course, He’s Running As The Law and Order Candidate
Y’all have heard me talk about Sheriff Goofy before. Well, he’s retired Sheriff Goofy now. He retired and spent all his free time getting his chief deputy elected sheriff. The boy spent $550,000 – five time what his opponent did – and he came in third in the two man race. Hell, he didn’t even win his parent’s precinct. That’s almost sad.
Anyway, Sheriff Goofy (who has the born name of Milton Wright and there is certainly evidence to the rumor that his middle name is “Not”), has decided to run for Richmond City Council.
First off, he’s so old that we have to carbon date him to figure out how many candles to put on his birthday cake.
Second off, he’s the laziest man in town.
Third off, everybody knows that he’s running to get his former chief deputy a job as the new police chief.
A local newspaper called him the Law and Order candidate. Why? He watches a lot of teevee re-runs? If he is so big on law and order, how come his political signs are completely illegal?
First off, there’s no disclaimer as required by the Texas Ethics commission.
Second, since he’s not the incumbent, he is required to use the word FOR in his ads and signs.
If you are not the incumbent in the office you are seeking, you must make it clear that you are seeking election rather than reelection by using the word “for” to clarify that you don’t hold that office.
I read it twice and, dammit, I can’t find the for. Here, let me read it a third time. Nope, not there.
He could plead ignorance of the law, but, hell, if there’s a jury trial he’d be found guilty of ignorance of everything.
Y’all, don’t vote for him. Okay?
Is it okay for someone to say “RE-elect” when they already have the office or would that be seen as an unfair advantage to the incumbents?
1Wadn’t plannin’ to vote for him.
2Don A – yep. They can say re-elect. The law id made so that the person running does not look like the incumbent.
3How’s the Grammaw business these days? No pictures. No crowin’ about what a wonderful grandchild you have. What’s up with that?
4Those signs need to be reported to whoever passes for election authorities in the area. And reported again and again, until they are withdrawn and a new set of properly-worded signs is paid for, produced, and exhibited. That’s the sort of “law and order” which needs to be imposed, here…..
5Love this: First off, he’s so old that we have to carbon date him to figure out how many candles to put on his birthday cake.
Man … that is OLD!! LOL
6He’s for reducing the taxes to increase sales to increase sales tax revenue…….reminds me of the tiger chasing its tail around the tree……turns into butter…….nice story but still a fantasy ….
7Wally, the Grandma business is great. I completely bore everybody on Facebook with Grandma pictures.
8Do they have to list party affiliation, if applicable?
9He knows the chances of any sort of meaningful fine or reprimand remains low.
10Being far away, and . . well . . having noted the occasional use of hyperbole and sarcasm on this site, I have to ask is that figure of having spent $550,000 to run and lose a Sheriff job for real? Okay, so that is one. Next, how much did the former Sheriff Not Right contribute of that total? I mean it seems kinda’ “outsized” and if the old boy was just trying to help the young one get “a start” in the sheriff business exactly what was the quid pro quo in that arrangement? And, finally, as I wonder about so many politicians: how are these “investments” paid back? Free parking for life?
11Yeah, Mark, my middle name is “hyperbole” but not in this case. He spent that much and he lost. It was amazing to watch.
Milton probably didn’t give him much because Milton still has the first dollar he ever made. And, of course, the rumor is that the youngster had dirt on the sheriff and it must have been something real bad because everybody already knew about the sheriff’s girlfriend.
12He offered to pay me to ride around town and doctor his campaign signs with a magic marker and put the number “4” on his signs. When I told him that isn’t the word “for” the cheap geezer was willing to pay me for the extra work involved writing three characters instead of one.
13NOT that there is one single thing wrong with sarcasm, don’t get me wrong Juanita. My mother invented sarcasm and I have lived with professionally sarcastic women my whole life. I’m sure Freud is rubbing his hands together waiting for my arrival in the Great Beyond so as to get a better understanding of this.
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