Lester “Bubba” Carpenter and His Coathanger

May 19, 2012 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I want y’all to meet a guy.  His name is Lester “Bubba” Carpenter and he’s a Mississippi State Representative.

I am going to refuse to call him Bubba.  Bubba is a term of endearment in Texas.  Every woman who really loves her Texas man calls him Bubba Darlin’, because in Texas a man is required to have two names, and those are two pretty good ones.

Lester the Molester will do just fine for this bloated woman-hater in Mississippi.  Ole Lester is a Baptist boy who didn’t need no damn college education.  He’s a paramedic, having dropped out of two different community colleges, and is on the State Legislature’s Tourism Board.  And, probably in charge of education.

Ole Lester spends his spare time standing on street corner passing out coat hangers.

In a speech this week, Ole Lester explained the upside to Mississippi making abortion illegal.

It’s going to be challenged, of course, in the Supreme Court and all — but literally, we stopped abortion in the state of Mississippi, legally, without having to — Roe vs. Wade. So we’ve done that. I was proud of it. The governor signed it into law. And of course, there you have the other side. They’re like, ‘Well, the poor pitiful women that can’t afford to go out of state are just going to start doing them at home with a coat hanger. That’s what we’ve learned over and over and over.’

But hey, you have to have moral values. You have to start somewhere.”

But hey, what’s one less poor pitiful woman when Mississippi is in desperate need of more children they can refuse to feed, educate, or provide medical care for.

And that right there is some of them “moral values” that Ole Lester is talkin’ about.

Okay, Mississippi girls, I will pay ten dollars cash American money to see a video of one of you chasing Lester down the street with a coat hanger threatening to perform a medically necessary prostate exam with it.  On second thought, I dunno if Lester would run from that.  Give him a little banjo music and some moonshine and he’d probably pay you money to do it.

Thanks to Carl for the heads-up on Ole Lester.

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