Lawyers and Questions
I’m watching lawyers on MSNBC and all of them are astounded that there are Trump Tapes recorded by Michael Cohen, Trump’s lawyer, concerning the Stormy Daniels case.
I cannot for the life of me understand why a lawyer would record his client. That’s crazy. You’re supposed to be protecting him and unless you’re planning on blackmailing him there is no reason … oh, okay.
I am also tickled by the thought that these tapes might be interesting. I mean, think how he talked about women when he was on a bus. These tapes might melt.
I also heard there are shredded documents from Cohen’s office that the FBI is putting back together. Surely Cohen knows that the FBI can reconstruct shredding. In fact, they do it for fun.
One more thing. You know how I always say that I have zero respect for Jeff Sessions? Well, that’s dramatically gone up to 3%.
Just about every Friday my family and I talk about the news. Every week we say the same thing, which is it can’t get any weirder than this week was. Every week we’re wrong. As I understand it, trash is abandoned property and there is no expectation of privacy in trash. So if the shredded docs were trashed, you use what he shredded to prove a crime-fraud exception to the attorney-client privilege, which opens up everything in his office, tapes and all. This thing’s liable to blow up like a hand grenade.
1Henry, with Cohen they had multiple, airtight, bench-issued warrants. They could sample the varnish on his desk if they wanted to, no need to quibble over the trash.
2JJ, These are high-dollar NYC mob lawyers dealing with what they know to be the scum of the Earth, they would be negligent if they didn’t tape, video, and CYA everything wall-to-wall.
Maybe there are some honest lawyers around (that might be an oxymoron like ‘honest realtor’, in many places) who don’t need this CYA, but not in those circles.
3Besides, Cohen graduated from the worst law school in the USA, those bottom-percentile grads need to do stuff like that just to practice ‘safe’ lawyerin’.
We can see that Cohen still caught a serious case of VD (‘Venerealized by Donnei’©, or maybe ‘Vucked by Donnei’©). Couldn’t be happening to a more deserving bastard of a barrister.
He probably used one of those cheap shredders that’re good for turning scrap paper into nice warm bedding for your hamsters, but not much else.
4Think how easy it must be for the FBI to reconstruct shredded documents with today’s computer imaging and graphic recognition abilities. Cohen wasn’t smart enough to buy a pulper instead of a shredder.
5Reconstructing shredded documents in this age probably isn’t like clearing off the kitchen table and getting out the Scotch Tape. More likely, mass loading all the shreds, face up, into the scanner.
6What kind of idiot lawyer has a strip shredder?! Even I have a cross cut machine (think fine covfefe) that does 20 pages at a time for my small business and the usual stuff like old bank statements etc. The law firm that helps me has a monster you can toss a whole box in to.
7Trump said someone tapped his phones.
Trump though the FBI spied on him.
He was almost right, in a way. He was under surveillance. By his own lawyer. Now that’s funny.
8Sandridge:
Group limerick, how clever is the gang on this blog?
first line is
Once was a bastard barrister
9…
Old Quaker, dang good idea.
Although I had to Wiki “limerick” ’cause I was a bit fuzzy on it (English always was my worst subject).
I’m working on something now, it might get dicey as my poor ol’ brain might go all Kilauea under the strain.
I think I need a Shiner Ruby Redbird first…may be back with something, or not (was recently trying to rewrite a popular old rock song as a satirical verse and it was like losing a fanbelt: noise, rubber smoke, pieces all over, engine kaput).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lecherous_Limericks
Form
10The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth rhyming with one another and having three feet of three syllables each; and the shorter third and fourth lines also rhyming with each other, but having only two feet of three syllables. The defining “foot” of a limerick’s meter is usually the anapaest, (ta-ta-TUM), but catalexis (missing a weak syllable at the beginning of a line) and extra-syllable rhyme (which adds an extra unstressed syllable) can make limericks appear amphibrachic (ta-TUM-ta).
…The first line traditionally introduces a person and a place, with the place appearing at the end of the first line and establishing the rhyme scheme for the second and fifth lines. In early limericks, the last line was often essentially a repeat of the first line, although this is no longer customary.
…Many limericks show some form of internal rhyme, alliteration or assonance, or some element of word play.
A friend tells me…
You want one of these companies that you bring your boxes of paper or whatever to and they roll it between two rotating concrete wheels. They then give you the dust that results from the grinding, in bags that you may do with as you wish.
11Boy, have I led a sheltered life; I’ve never needed to do more than shred unwanted CC offers.
12@7:12- Once was a bastard barrister
“I’ll fix all you stunts that embarrass, Sir.”
13OK Old Quaker, read it and weep.
Have no idea if the syllables and rhymes fit or work, but my brain a meltdown has, urk.
Methinks needs mor wurk, but Upstart Crow this scribe ain’t.
(Highly recommend y’all watching the BBC series that PBS is running called “Upstart Crow”, a super bawdy take on early Will Shakespeare. It’s a cross between Faulty Towers, Monty Python, Blackadder, and Mr. Bean, sort of. Screaming hilarious, full of profanity and sexual innuendo, I’m gonna have a stroke or MI watching it from laughing so hard.)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upstart_Crow
Lame Limerick:
There once was a bastard barrister who came from low on the bannister
He worked for a florid mofoer who fancied himself a mighty pussygrabber
But this corpulent crapsack sported dainty tiny hands and miniscule flaccid pecker
Trollops did sue so the crooked barrister taped it all and could nought remember
The FBI and USASDNY still raided his digs with warrants rampant and a giant grin beamed forth from gallant Esquire Mueller
14Once was a bastard barrister,
15“I’ll fix all you stunts that embarrass, Sir”,
He taped all their meetings and saved them for later,
But Mueller recovered them faster.
@WA Skeptic
Just fer yew!
https://www.semshred.com/disintegrators
16Sandridge, ’tis one thing to propose the compositions of limericks, which in itself will make Mama blush. But use of the word “amphibrachic” is entirely uncalled for. We must maintain some semblance of decency, sir, lest we descend into the pool of cess from which crawleth creatures unmentionable.
Sincerely, slipstream.
17Ode to Cohen
18A shyster from borough Manhattan
Screwed all for his wallet to fatten
But when Mueller is through
with his righteous review
Lil Mike will be catchin’ not battin’
Went to 12 years of Catholic school. Senior year. Special “poetry” project in English class. I wrote mine as a limerick. The nun had never seen such a thing before. Subject was about somebody who slipped on a shiny floor. Can’t remember all of it but she gave me an A+. But hey, I didn’t have any competition. As for shredding, there was one place within minutes of my house that did a booming business. I am, after all, just minutes from D.C. They outgrew their location and had to move further away. There are even special trucks, similar to garbage trucks, that make the rounds of their customers just to collect when needs to be destroyed. their equipment can even shred steel baseball bats. And I gotta say that what I have read here and heard so far this morning has really made me smile, even if the aftermath of Alberto hits us today.
19Bravo, P.P. Loved the baseball reference: “…catchin’ not battin'”, the alliteration: “…righteous review…” and the descriptive term, “shyster”, which gives the limerick attitude.
20Love it P.P.!
21Bravo PP! Although Mama may slap you if she knows about the secondary meaning of “catchin’.”
22