Laura Looney Tunes
I started hearing mentions of uber right-wing conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer being in the company of Donald Von Shitzenpantz maybe two weeks ago. At that time, the rumor was that Loomer was helping to prep TFG for the Great Debate along with Tulsi Gabbert and Matt Gaetz. Now, it seems that was wrong: Loomer had nothing to do with the debate prep. It was all Gabbert and Gaetz.
Could have fooled me.
But as time went on, Loomer and The Former have been seen together on several occasions, prompting former RNC Chair Michael Steel to say, “Melania, check your man!” all the while wondering why “…we are so susceptible to this kind of BS. ”
Even Bill Maher has chimed in saying on his weekly HBO show “She’s 31, looks like his type… Who’s Trump f—ing? Because I said, it’s not nobody. He’s been a dog for too long. And it’s not Melania. I think we may have our answer this week.”
Rather than let this go on and on, Loomer sprinted to the finish by disavowing any and all hanky panky between her and The Orange One on “X”: “I should sue Bill Maher for Defamation. This is beyond the pale and it’s a complete and blatant lie.”
TFG’s h̶a̶n̶d̶l̶e̶r̶s̶ campaign staff have been working overtime to deny what normal and mean-spirited people can all agree to: they’re a good match. His staff says that she’s not MAGA material, while the whole world knows that is not true at all: they are MFEO (Boomers, that means Made For Each Other). Indeed, it’s the staff that are not MAGA enough if that’s what they’re all saying.
I don’t know, and I don’t care. His base doesn’t care about anything TFG says or does, so why should I?
One reason: it’s funny. No, it’s hilarious. It may be pure fabrication, but that won’t keep me from posting an analogy problem like you used to find on the SATs:
TRUMP : LOOMER as
a. TOAD : ORNITHOLOGY
b. TURTLE : MICROBIOLOGY
c. VANCE : COUCH
d. GYMNOSPERMS : BOTANY
Thanks for the Laugh!
Here’s my theory: Melania has a new memoir coming out this week. The Orange Felon just can’t stand anybody else getting more attention–even his own “beloved” wife. So, if he parades his new honey around, and that humiliates Melanoma, so what?
What he is NOT doing is gaining more votes or broadening his base with this kind of behavior. Which is just fine by me. Let him be him, ya know?
1I cannot see him palling around with anyone with an ‘Ashkenazi IQ.’
2Haha this is sooo cozy, and just before an election! Maybe we can ask James Comey to investigate any criminal wrongdoing to see if tRump is Christian enough to be having another extramarital affair. And is Loomer going to ask her Pool Boy to join in?
3Left picture reminds me of Monica gazing up at Bill Clinton in a less-than-neutral demeanor.
4There isn’t enough Viagra in this country.
5I think they make a perfect couple. He’s a star so he can do anything with the ladies he wants though I wouldn’t call her a lady.
Maybe we can start an analogy problem for trumpf-
6TRUMP:GENIUS as
SHIT : BRAINS
Fox News has a body language “expert” they trot out on any and every occasion. This is THE perfect opportunity to use their vast expertise from over many years, decades. There’s video, photos.
Waiting…
7Buttermilk Sky: I think the problem is the opposite. There’s way too much Viagra in this country, especially since it’s finding its way to T’s creepy, smelly, little hands.
8Just the idea of an obese, unhealthy 78 year-old man having sex with a woman who is 47 years younger than him is laughable and obscene.
SurlyProfessor @ 8, I think Viagra and all those twenty-ways-to-Sunday-surgeries and enlargment devices, should be as severely restricted as the assholes-that-be would restrict birth control.
9Trump: Loomer is as Henry VIII: Catherine Howard. And that didn’t end well for Catherine.
10In other news (and includes loony lips):
https://open.substack.com/pub/jefftiedrich/p/elderly-golfer-is-fucking-losing
11Thanks Steve from Beaverton @11
12Great article!
I c what you did there.
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