Keep Talkin’ Ted!

May 18, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The GOP is trying to secretly and quietly tell members of it’s Party to stop acting the fool.  And to shut the hell up.

Republicans are worried one thing could screw up the political gift of three Obama administration controversies at once: fellow Republicans.

Top GOP leaders are privately warning members to put a sock in it when it comes to silly calls for impeachment or over-the-top comparisons to Watergate. They want members to focus on months of fact-finding investigations — not rhetorical fury.

Whoa, wait a minute.  That can’t happen because Rhetorical Fury is the only language that Ted Cruz speaks.  He doesn’t speak English worth a damn and he lisps his way through Spanish.  He does speak a little conversational Viciously Confused and he’s brushing up on verb conjugation in Wildly Egocentric, but he’s going to be reduced to crayons and butcher paper if you take away his native languages.

And, with history as our witness, Republicans will overreach with Ted’s help.

Republicans are well aware of their long history of taking their scandal crusades too far, and turning damaged political figures like Bill Clinton into popular victims. Who can forget former Rep. Dan Burton (R-Ind.), then in the Issa role of overseeing the oversight committee, re-enacting the death of Clinton friend Vince Foster in his backyard by shooting a watermelon?

Somebody, anybody, please give Ted Cruz a Marine and an umbrella.  He needs to reenact the latest scandal.

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0 Comments to “Keep Talkin’ Ted!”


  1. Ted Cruz and Michele Bachmann must be related.

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  2. The purpose of over-the-top Repub rhetoric is to rally their base and it works well for that. The problem is that they are preaching to a shrinking choir. For a party that over the last few months has been claiming they were going to reach out and expand their base this all-scandal-all-the-time approach is more likely to alienate everyone except the base.

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  3. Miss Prissybritches..... says:

    Breaking news…. Ted Crudz no habla Espanol. Siento.

    Remember? Back during the Republican Primary runoff against Dewhurst, Telemundo or Univision, or some Spanish language based media company wanted to have a debate in Spanish for their audiences. Dewhurst jumped at the opportunity. Crudz twittled, tweeted, and avoided it like the plague, because he doesn’t speak Spanish. Dewhurst is allegedly fluent due to his experience in the CIA or some other clandestine organization he worked for prior to getting into the private sector.

    Yeah, he’s some Hispanic, huh? No wonder he belongs to the “Speak English Dammit Club”.

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  4. Lorraine in Spring says:

    Every time Calgary Cruz opens his mouth, I feel like I lose a few IQ points. Seriously, do these folks ever cross a line? Is there a line? Will there ever be a line? I really want to hear what top psychologists think about this type of anti-social behavior on the part of folks who want to be elected, but don’t want to do the people’s work. Are they just greedy? Mentally ill? It’s time for the specialists to speak up in public to shame these awful people. If they can’t be shamed, they should be banned from holding any office forever. All the doctor shows on tv should discuss this weekly as a public service.

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  5. maryelle says:

    Reince Priebus says, “If we present ourselves as intelligent to the American people, we’ll be in a great place…”. Somebody better tell him the horse has left the barn. There’s no putting the STUPID genie back in that bottle.

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  6. Oh, Lordy, Lorraine! I pretty much agree with you. These people have real boundary issues. I remember when I was a kid and anyone with this kind of boundary issue actually got hit up side of the head and told shut up, fool! That usually did it. Now for my moment of public education, the APA (American Psychiatric Association) has released a huge 900 page book on diagnosing symptoms of mental illness. They do this every so often. Back when I was in grad school it was known as the DSM III. The DSM IV came out right after I got my masters. As if that on wasn’t big enough, the DSM V is a real door stopper. Basically, it is full of labels. This edition even includes hoarding as a symptom of a mental illness. Now, look. If they can do that with hoarding, there’s gotta be a whole chapter what ails the GOP in general and its aherents like Cruz in particular. The price is a real gouge in the Social Security check: $135 bucks and if you order it on Amazon, you just might have to pay shipping. Gotta warn ya, though. They took some things out that used to be called a mental illness but I am willing to bet that what ails Cruz is still in the book.

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  7. According to Bill Mahar, they are all guilty of treason for working AGAINST the people on every issue. I agree, and if the GOP couldn’t sell calm quiet Mittens to their own party, how do they figure McCarthy clone Cruz will win even ONE liberal vote? But hey, let them stew. As far as I can tell, the GOP’s hole is getting deeper and deeper by the day, and they have NOTHING to show for the past five years but lots of useless hearings, lots of grandstanding, and no jobs. Meanwhile, this President HAS created jobs, the deficit is falling really fast (didn’t hear that on Fix, did you?) and the stock market has doubled since Obama took office. come on GOP, what will you run on next year? 9-11 worked so well for old Rudy…do you really think BenGHAZI on bumper stickers will win you votes? HAHAHHAHAHa

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  8. @Lorraine in Spring

    If all the doctor shows on tv began discussing how dysfunctional our elected officials are, they would lose all their sponsors, in a heartbeat.

    It’s all of the above. Greed. Mentally ill. Ego. Last by not least, Money. Most of all….. money.

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  9. Umptydump says:

    I took it upon myself to call the Canadian consulate. Bad news. They don’t want Cruz back.

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  10. Well Miss Prissybritches, you had better watch your back, knowing all this TopSecret info and spillin it right here between the dryers and shampoo bowls!
    Ted can’t speak Spanish and Marco is Cuban, so that pretty much brings the GOP Hispanic outreach/candidate thing to a screeching halt!
    I’m guessin’ Reince will be calling Any day now!

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  11. Marge Wood says:

    If they are such great Christians why’d they not notice that greed is one of the biggest sins, that, and self-righteousness.

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  12. I trust my gut.
    Every time I see a picture of Rafael or see/hear him on tv, the hairs on the back of my neck rise. That is a bad sign.
    That’s my child abuser, nasty person sign.

    I am not saying that he is a child abuser, but that man is just plain nasty. Nasty.
    He is going to crash and burn by his own actions. He’s just nasty.

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  13. aj,

    You are such a hoot~calling Rubio a Cuban, and CarnivalBoy a non-Espanol speaker – that’s just profilin’-

    //snark

    One of the things that (too many to list) that I, a multi-generational Texan, find hilariously lacking in the Terrible Ted category is the FACT that the Repigs of Tejas actually ELECTED a Cuban rather than a Mexican as their first hispanic in the Senate.

    Seriously, talk about idiots and not reaching out – who knew there were Cubans in Texas? They bring in a Canadian/Cuban/McCarthy and call it a triumph? Triumph of the Trolls~which I realize does not sound as fun as Parliament of Whores (written by PJ O’Rourke, a conservative, in the early 90s, absolutely a hilariously fun read) but when you elect a hispanic in the southwestern US, it is clear to me that it should be someone who speaks Spanish as well as being Mexican. As most of us who have been outside our own little bubbles once or twice, we know that Mexicans and Cubans are NOT the same culture. Why did they not elect a real Texan? Perhaps one of the Joaquin brothers will run against Teddy, and I know there are many qualified hispanics in the Lone Star State – the Valley has been represented by hispanics my entire life and I ain’t no youngster at 59~

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  14. Eykis- pardon me- but a Real Hispanic is from Puerto Rico.
    Puerto Rico is a Commonwealth of the US, therefore giving it rights far above Mexican Hispanics.
    (This tidbit of truth from the Eastern Commonwealth of Texas- Florida.)

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