My friend Kary is a theater producer, native Texan, avid Democrat, Vietnam war hero, and highlarious social commentator.  Every now and then I share a Kary story with y’all.  Kary’s job requires him to travel often and stay for weeks on end to get a show ready.  He sends me glorious stories from the road.

He was in America’s heartland this week in Peoria, Illinois, which he describes as “beige.”  He says the people are nice, but …

I have huge issues with the South, as you know…..but, honey …there’s food, grit, fun, crazy, interesting, food, liquor, color and character.  Midwest = BEIGE.

I will stop here and let you know that Kary is not  fan of beige.  Be loud, be obnoxious, be tangerine orange and hot pink, but never be beige.

This trip  —

The Sons of the American Revolution are staying in the hotel. OMG! Old, old, OLD white men….a few walking around dressed in (bad) 1776 drag!  I got in the elevator last night at 11:30 (we work till 11) with an old couple. He was clearly three sheets to the wind. I cheerfully said, “Where you guys from?” He mumbles….”Quad cities”. (Illinois). I said, “Oh, I lived in Linconlshire (Illinois) for 20 years. I live in Maryland now.” He snarls, “People in this hotel are from the government. You from the government?”

“No,”, I cheerfully replied. “But I just got married September the 7th and I AM gay.” The doors opened, and I said, ‘Ya’ll have a REAL nice night, now.” And exited.

Kary taught me the best lesson of life:  if you don’t leave people with their mouths hanging open, you’re not doing it right.